Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

AJ Middleton · #1

Umm, yeah, there is no logical and uncheap way to explain how Sephiroth is still alive.

Sounds like a plan for an easy buck to me.

Wyborn · #2

Originally posted by Sir Bolt:
Umm, yeah, there is no logical and uncheap way to explain how Sephiroth is still alive.

Could be one of his more functional clones.

AJ Middleton · #3

Hmm, Carter, I beg to differ. See, Sephiroth was killed BEFORE Meteor hit.

Or so we thought...

You see, Seffy, being the smart guy he is, realized how much it would suck if Cloud and crew did all that work for nothing. So, when Cloud handed him the Black Materia, he used it for two things: to summon Meteor and to take a long vacation to...the moon! Yes, the moon! Because the moon is a very nice place to be, complete with beaches and other fun forms of entertainment (If YOU were trapped in a Mako crystal for years you would want to get away too!) So Sef hired some moon hobo to go take his place on earth.

The poor hobo was defeated...poor hobo. So everything was going great until Sef realized that he left his teddy bear back on Earth...poor Seffy. Having forgotten about Cloud, he used his Black Materia to go back to Earth peacefully. BUT! Cloud, being the spikey haired idiot he is, saw his arch rival and started flipping out. Sef had no choice but to fight...for Teddy!

And that woman in the wheelchair? She's the lady who made Teddy. See, what happens is *spoiler alert!* Sephiroth finds out that Cloud gave Teddy to Red XIII to use as a chew toy. Poor Teddy was shedded to pieces. Sephiroth goes to find his bear's mother, but she is injured because Cloud accidently stabbed her in the heart with his hair when he went to go pick up her cane for her. She's not dead, but very very hurt. This only increases Sef's rage even more.

THAT's the story.

PK FIRE! · #4

Both of those explanations require a heavy dose of crack, LSD, pot, and vodka.

PK FIRE! · #5

Meh who cares FFVII is one of the worest FF games right nect to FFV and FFMQ. So I'm not even going to bother with it.

Falco53 · #6

You guys are a bunch of pessimists. I see no reason to automatically assume that this movie will suffer from suction.

PK FIRE! · #7

Hey! I'm a realistic pessimist! Get it right!

Falco53 · #8

Originally posted by Blaine the shogun is #1:
Hey! I'm a realistic pessimist! Get it right!

There are two types of people, pessimists, and optimists. Some people refer to themselves as realists, but they are really just members of one of the afformentioned groups, they just call themselves realists.

I feel like such a dork-- I haven't played FF7 yet.

AJ Middleton · #9

I enjoyed FF7 a lot, but there was no need for a sequel. Especially for one that looks this ridiculous.