An Ness isn't 3,He's FOURTEEN!FOURTEEN!!!!
Oh yeah,Mortal Kombat is stupid.
The worst reviews. (2)
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I caught a zubat
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supperdish
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Sim Kid
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Final Ecstasy 10
This game got 10's everywhere, and all of the people said "omg111 final fantasi 10 si teh best gam evar1!11", so I bought this game and almost died of game induced pain. Sure the graphics music and voiceovers were good, but the rest of the game was just plain pathetic, just what were they huffing during the creation of the game? MAGIC MARKERS? Yeah, Auron is cool, but what on earth is Tidus smoking? He doesn't know anything about the world, and even though he's new to the post apocolyptic world, so that does mean that he can pick up things after the FIRST time they tell him, and what about that moron Seymour? Not only did he try to force Yuna into marrying him instead of Tidus, but he also is a self-centred-stuck-up-snob-who-thinks-he's-better-than-everybody-else! And what the *Bleep* is with that sphere grid? It make you just wanna SCREAM! no wait, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!There that was better, and this game is so overrated, they have to make a sequal to this game, Final ectsasy X-2: Girlz gone wild!!
[ August 06, 2003, 03:39 PM: Message edited by: Douglas ]
This game got 10's everywhere, and all of the people said "omg111 final fantasi 10 si teh best gam evar1!11", so I bought this game and almost died of game induced pain. Sure the graphics music and voiceovers were good, but the rest of the game was just plain pathetic, just what were they huffing during the creation of the game? MAGIC MARKERS? Yeah, Auron is cool, but what on earth is Tidus smoking? He doesn't know anything about the world, and even though he's new to the post apocolyptic world, so that does mean that he can pick up things after the FIRST time they tell him, and what about that moron Seymour? Not only did he try to force Yuna into marrying him instead of Tidus, but he also is a self-centred-stuck-up-snob-who-thinks-he's-better-than-everybody-else! And what the *Bleep* is with that sphere grid? It make you just wanna SCREAM! no wait, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!There that was better, and this game is so overrated, they have to make a sequal to this game, Final ectsasy X-2: Girlz gone wild!!
[ August 06, 2003, 03:39 PM: Message edited by: Douglas ]
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Inferno Dragon
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adventures of lolo:
man that was the lamest game in history and bubble bobble ranks right up there with it!
in that game you were a blue blob trying to save a pink blob from a gannon rip-off. WTF!? that was such a stupid game oh and NO WEAPONS to defend yourself with. what were the game makers smoaking when they made this suckey game? and on top of that they made 2 sequals to it. F%#@ing BULL$%*@!!!
(how was that?)
beware the power of Bahamut\'s eldest son.
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Sim Kid
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Megaman 1:
Megaman 1 is the worst one in the Megaman series. Not only is it impossible to slide, but you can't charge, and Gutsman's stage is impossible. Unless you have some cheat code that makes megaman fly or shuts out the music so you don't need any asprin. Oh yeah, this is the first game that featured thumb-numbing action, only megaman 7 and 8 can top the amount of thumb-numbing action this game offers.
Megaman 1 is the worst one in the Megaman series. Not only is it impossible to slide, but you can't charge, and Gutsman's stage is impossible. Unless you have some cheat code that makes megaman fly or shuts out the music so you don't need any asprin. Oh yeah, this is the first game that featured thumb-numbing action, only megaman 7 and 8 can top the amount of thumb-numbing action this game offers.
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Instigator
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^Excellent review!
Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link
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This game really pisses me off. Instead of making a better looking sequel to the first Zelda, Nintendo transforms the whole screen and offers side scrolling, instead of a top down view. Instead of you getting weapon and armor upgrades, you get moves where you can stab up, down, etc. How gay! The game drags on, and you soon find yourself wondering why you even bought it (back in the day that is). They got it right with a link to the past on the SNES. But it should have been that way to begin with ith Zelda 2!
Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link
------------------------------
This game really pisses me off. Instead of making a better looking sequel to the first Zelda, Nintendo transforms the whole screen and offers side scrolling, instead of a top down view. Instead of you getting weapon and armor upgrades, you get moves where you can stab up, down, etc. How gay! The game drags on, and you soon find yourself wondering why you even bought it (back in the day that is). They got it right with a link to the past on the SNES. But it should have been that way to begin with ith Zelda 2!
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Sim Kid
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^Wow, that's just what I was thinking of Zelda 2.
Friday the 13th.
This game is bad, but not nearly as bad as Final Ecstasy legend or Final Ecstasy X. The graphics are the only good part of the game, so it's only good to look at it from screenshots. Everything else is awful, not only do you have to rescue a bunch of kids stoned on Cocaine from Jason, but you also have to deal with impossible to defeat enemies, there's also a very hard to read map, in fact, the map makes as much sense as Probability! When you finally reach Jason, you are faced with a next to impossible dilemma, not only are you only armed with rocks (Or maybe a Knife that's as strong as a toothpick that you found in the cabin, I wonder why the kids have a knife in their cabin, because the game sucks? yes). So Jason takes out his fists twice the size of Al Capone's fists and punches you in the head until you die of a skull fracture. Then, if you do manage to beat him, he reincarnates and you have to do it all over again. When you reach him again, he'll take out a "Knife" That's 10x longer than the Biggorn Sword and 1000000000x stronger than the Excalabur II, or maybe it's because you have defense so low, that 1 flick can cause FF6 style Ultima damage. In the movie, 1 survives and is psycologically damaged for life, in the game, no one survives and you are psycologically damaged for life, or maybe YOU Die of a headache from that awful music. Overall, do not touch this game. You will die or be psycologically damaged for life.
Friday the 13th.
This game is bad, but not nearly as bad as Final Ecstasy legend or Final Ecstasy X. The graphics are the only good part of the game, so it's only good to look at it from screenshots. Everything else is awful, not only do you have to rescue a bunch of kids stoned on Cocaine from Jason, but you also have to deal with impossible to defeat enemies, there's also a very hard to read map, in fact, the map makes as much sense as Probability! When you finally reach Jason, you are faced with a next to impossible dilemma, not only are you only armed with rocks (Or maybe a Knife that's as strong as a toothpick that you found in the cabin, I wonder why the kids have a knife in their cabin, because the game sucks? yes). So Jason takes out his fists twice the size of Al Capone's fists and punches you in the head until you die of a skull fracture. Then, if you do manage to beat him, he reincarnates and you have to do it all over again. When you reach him again, he'll take out a "Knife" That's 10x longer than the Biggorn Sword and 1000000000x stronger than the Excalabur II, or maybe it's because you have defense so low, that 1 flick can cause FF6 style Ultima damage. In the movie, 1 survives and is psycologically damaged for life, in the game, no one survives and you are psycologically damaged for life, or maybe YOU Die of a headache from that awful music. Overall, do not touch this game. You will die or be psycologically damaged for life.
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Codiekitty
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supperdish
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Codiekitty
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supperdish
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Codiekitty
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Sim Kid
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Little Nemo: The Dream master
Sure, I actually played this game because I liked the movie. The Graphics are pretty good, but only the backgrounds. The rest is pretty bad, you are armed with Candy, yes candy, if you're supposed to damage enemies, it's probably Necco Wafers. Apparantly, not only do you have to find about 5-6 keys to get to the next level, but they are all in hard to reach places, and you need certain powers from certain enemies to reach them, so just poison them all with Necco wafers. Luckily, you get a better weapon later in the game (The wand) but you still have your endless supply of Necco wafers. The ending is kind of good, but it was cliched off of the movie. Overall, good movie, sweet graphics, grappy game.
Sure, I actually played this game because I liked the movie. The Graphics are pretty good, but only the backgrounds. The rest is pretty bad, you are armed with Candy, yes candy, if you're supposed to damage enemies, it's probably Necco Wafers. Apparantly, not only do you have to find about 5-6 keys to get to the next level, but they are all in hard to reach places, and you need certain powers from certain enemies to reach them, so just poison them all with Necco wafers. Luckily, you get a better weapon later in the game (The wand) but you still have your endless supply of Necco wafers. The ending is kind of good, but it was cliched off of the movie. Overall, good movie, sweet graphics, grappy game.
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Kahn
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Super Mario 64
As the first 3-D Mario game ever, I was expecting something cool, something awsome, some amazing! Instead I got the worst piece of crap ever made! The plot of this game involves walking around a castle and jumping into God Damn Paintings!I mean, how the hell do you jump inside a painting! Get real Nintendo!
And everyone is always going on about how great the graphics are, yeah sure, baby compared to SMB, but for an N64 game they are crap! Mario looks like a frickin' midget! Why oh why can't they give him a realistic body!
This game they try to milk every single thing they can do with 3-D, and it's horrible! All these new moves and they couldn't even give him a fricking weapon? Not to mention no matter how hurt he is, he'll never bleed! That stupid power meter will drop, a system used in arcade games during the 80s! Where the hell are the mushrooms and flowers and stars! All there is are some stupid blocks. Flying is horrible, and so is swimming. You have no control where he is going half the time.
And of course you have to wonder around collecting power stars to open doors. Hello, if Mario is so strong why can't he break down the doors! You have to face the same boss 3 times in the game, a very stupid move if you ask me, especially since he is the easiest boss in all of history. You swing him around by his goddam tail, and throw him into bombs! Why does he keep bombs in his lair than! It's not even a lair, its a fricking floating island or something. All he does in breathe fire at you, and what does that do? Your ass turns red for a few seconds, you run around like a maniac, and than you're fine!
And forget replayability! You'll never beat this game in the first place! Oh sure, you can beat the boss and save in the princess in about an hour, but than try getting those other 50 stars! And hello, if you already saved the Princess, why is it you can go back and collect those extra stars, and even fight Bowser again? Didn't you kill him? Oh this is way too confusing. After you finally do after spending a year getting that last star in Rainbow Ride, you get to go to the roof! WOW! There Yoshi, who looks like he's taken steriods, gives you 100 lives? Sorry, but if you already beat everything there is to do in the game, why get 100 lives!?!
All in all, avoid this game at all costs! Do listen to those reviews that call this the greatest game ever, they were obviously bribed by Shigeru Miyamoto to cover up this horrible mistake!
As the first 3-D Mario game ever, I was expecting something cool, something awsome, some amazing! Instead I got the worst piece of crap ever made! The plot of this game involves walking around a castle and jumping into God Damn Paintings!I mean, how the hell do you jump inside a painting! Get real Nintendo!
And everyone is always going on about how great the graphics are, yeah sure, baby compared to SMB, but for an N64 game they are crap! Mario looks like a frickin' midget! Why oh why can't they give him a realistic body!
This game they try to milk every single thing they can do with 3-D, and it's horrible! All these new moves and they couldn't even give him a fricking weapon? Not to mention no matter how hurt he is, he'll never bleed! That stupid power meter will drop, a system used in arcade games during the 80s! Where the hell are the mushrooms and flowers and stars! All there is are some stupid blocks. Flying is horrible, and so is swimming. You have no control where he is going half the time.
And of course you have to wonder around collecting power stars to open doors. Hello, if Mario is so strong why can't he break down the doors! You have to face the same boss 3 times in the game, a very stupid move if you ask me, especially since he is the easiest boss in all of history. You swing him around by his goddam tail, and throw him into bombs! Why does he keep bombs in his lair than! It's not even a lair, its a fricking floating island or something. All he does in breathe fire at you, and what does that do? Your ass turns red for a few seconds, you run around like a maniac, and than you're fine!
And forget replayability! You'll never beat this game in the first place! Oh sure, you can beat the boss and save in the princess in about an hour, but than try getting those other 50 stars! And hello, if you already saved the Princess, why is it you can go back and collect those extra stars, and even fight Bowser again? Didn't you kill him? Oh this is way too confusing. After you finally do after spending a year getting that last star in Rainbow Ride, you get to go to the roof! WOW! There Yoshi, who looks like he's taken steriods, gives you 100 lives? Sorry, but if you already beat everything there is to do in the game, why get 100 lives!?!
All in all, avoid this game at all costs! Do listen to those reviews that call this the greatest game ever, they were obviously bribed by Shigeru Miyamoto to cover up this horrible mistake!
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Kahn
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Super Mario Bros.
This must be by far one of the stupidest games ever, and yet its sold more copies than any other game! God, that's just retarded! The people who play this must be gay ******, and unfortunately this game spawned thousands of equally horrid games.
Graphics- HAH! That's rich! You'd have to be a deaf-blind mental patient to call anything in this game graphics! Super Mario looks like a man made out of bricks, and small Mario, hell, if you didn't know that was supposed to be a person you'd probably think it was an ant.
Gameplay- Non-existant! There is no playing, all you do is walk towards the right side of the screen, occaisanaly jumping! Not to mention there are the absolute worst bad guys ever! I mean little evil mushrooms, who you'll die if you touch it from the side! Pul-lease. This game is repetitive non-sense, eight worlds, every level is the same only a little harder, not much though, since this is the easiest game ever! The boss is this evil dragon thingy, who stands on a draw bridge over a pit of lava, and keeps and axe at the end! WHY THE !@#$ DOES HE KEEP AN AXE AT THE END! Sometimes you've think you've won, and no, you see this little midget who is supposed to be a talking mushroom, and he tells you to go to another god damn castle! Than when you finally do get to the princess(who looks like miss piggy) all she does is make you play the game again!
Story- Talk about clichés! You are a noble hero who has to save a kingdom and the princess you love! Geeze. Get this, you live in the Mushroom Kingdom! And its been taken over by evil turtles! The people who designed this game must have been pretty high, because this game is full of magic mushroom, flowers, and pipes. Really, when was the last time you turned twice your sizr from eating a mushroom?
Characters- Mario- A fat plumber from New York. WTF!?!You call that a hero?
Luigi- His retarded green-haired brother.
Princess Toadstool- An annoying squeeky voiced slut who can't go five minutes without being kidnapped. Can't Bowser kill her already!?!
Koopa Troopa- A turtle with a god damn bir's beak! Damn it, they are so stupid they walk off cliffs!
Toad- An annoying mushroom man who you have to save 7 time!
King Bowser Koopa- A Giant Turtle who can breathe fire and shoots spike from his head(probably where is brain should be.) So retarded he uses the same plan over and over again and always gets defeated.
Trust me, don' by this game. It's waste of money. It may have been good a hundred years ago when it was made, but if you want good quality games buy PS2!
This must be by far one of the stupidest games ever, and yet its sold more copies than any other game! God, that's just retarded! The people who play this must be gay ******, and unfortunately this game spawned thousands of equally horrid games.
Graphics- HAH! That's rich! You'd have to be a deaf-blind mental patient to call anything in this game graphics! Super Mario looks like a man made out of bricks, and small Mario, hell, if you didn't know that was supposed to be a person you'd probably think it was an ant.
Gameplay- Non-existant! There is no playing, all you do is walk towards the right side of the screen, occaisanaly jumping! Not to mention there are the absolute worst bad guys ever! I mean little evil mushrooms, who you'll die if you touch it from the side! Pul-lease. This game is repetitive non-sense, eight worlds, every level is the same only a little harder, not much though, since this is the easiest game ever! The boss is this evil dragon thingy, who stands on a draw bridge over a pit of lava, and keeps and axe at the end! WHY THE !@#$ DOES HE KEEP AN AXE AT THE END! Sometimes you've think you've won, and no, you see this little midget who is supposed to be a talking mushroom, and he tells you to go to another god damn castle! Than when you finally do get to the princess(who looks like miss piggy) all she does is make you play the game again!
Story- Talk about clichés! You are a noble hero who has to save a kingdom and the princess you love! Geeze. Get this, you live in the Mushroom Kingdom! And its been taken over by evil turtles! The people who designed this game must have been pretty high, because this game is full of magic mushroom, flowers, and pipes. Really, when was the last time you turned twice your sizr from eating a mushroom?
Characters- Mario- A fat plumber from New York. WTF!?!You call that a hero?
Luigi- His retarded green-haired brother.
Princess Toadstool- An annoying squeeky voiced slut who can't go five minutes without being kidnapped. Can't Bowser kill her already!?!
Koopa Troopa- A turtle with a god damn bir's beak! Damn it, they are so stupid they walk off cliffs!
Toad- An annoying mushroom man who you have to save 7 time!
King Bowser Koopa- A Giant Turtle who can breathe fire and shoots spike from his head(probably where is brain should be.) So retarded he uses the same plan over and over again and always gets defeated.
Trust me, don' by this game. It's waste of money. It may have been good a hundred years ago when it was made, but if you want good quality games buy PS2!
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supperdish
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KINGDOM HEARTS
[img]graemlins/cow.gif[/img]
Oh, what? Sorry, I was sleeping becuz I was playing a stupid game! Square sucks nowadays, and Kingdom Hearts backs that up!
Story: A little kid living on some gay islands becomes ruler of the "Keyblade", a dumb oversized key. He goes to another worlds, and meets with gay people. The good parts are when there are guns! The 2 seconds of it! [img]graemlins/shoot2.gif[/img] I mean, didn't Halo teach them anything?
Characters:
Sora-gay
Riku-almost not gay.
Kairi-GAY x1000000000
Donald-See above.
Goofy-See above.
Any other characters except Cloud, Sephiroth, and Leon-GAY.
Graphics: this is the only part of the game that halfway semi-decent! Actually, I puked watching some scences!
Gameplay: you go to a room, and go to another, then another... GAY.
Overall: GAY.
[img]graemlins/cow.gif[/img]
Oh, what? Sorry, I was sleeping becuz I was playing a stupid game! Square sucks nowadays, and Kingdom Hearts backs that up!
Story: A little kid living on some gay islands becomes ruler of the "Keyblade", a dumb oversized key. He goes to another worlds, and meets with gay people. The good parts are when there are guns! The 2 seconds of it! [img]graemlins/shoot2.gif[/img] I mean, didn't Halo teach them anything?
Characters:
Sora-gay
Riku-almost not gay.
Kairi-GAY x1000000000
Donald-See above.
Goofy-See above.
Any other characters except Cloud, Sephiroth, and Leon-GAY.
Graphics: this is the only part of the game that halfway semi-decent! Actually, I puked watching some scences!
Gameplay: you go to a room, and go to another, then another... GAY.
Overall: GAY.
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Kahn
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Pokemon Gold/Silver
Can you say profit? Cause apparently, Nintendo can
!
Lock your doors! Bar your windows! Because another pokemon game has come out! Oh the horror! And now they come with another 1000 or so evil demons known as poket monsters!
Oh yes, as if a successful game, a television show, movies, trading cards, and millions of merchandise weren't enough, Nintendo had to make this!
This is by far, one of, if not the, worst games ever! First of all, even though this game has "new" pokemon, and "new cities" and "new" characters, it's exactly the same! Kamon=Ash! They are exactly the same! They both comes from stupid little crap towns, with stupid little crap proffessors, with stupid little crap tree names! And you stil have to go to eight stupid gyms, you still got to catch 'em all, you still have to do everything the same!
Burn Pokeomn! Burn you and all things you spawned!
Can you say profit? Cause apparently, Nintendo can
!
Lock your doors! Bar your windows! Because another pokemon game has come out! Oh the horror! And now they come with another 1000 or so evil demons known as poket monsters!
Oh yes, as if a successful game, a television show, movies, trading cards, and millions of merchandise weren't enough, Nintendo had to make this!
This is by far, one of, if not the, worst games ever! First of all, even though this game has "new" pokemon, and "new cities" and "new" characters, it's exactly the same! Kamon=Ash! They are exactly the same! They both comes from stupid little crap towns, with stupid little crap proffessors, with stupid little crap tree names! And you stil have to go to eight stupid gyms, you still got to catch 'em all, you still have to do everything the same!
Burn Pokeomn! Burn you and all things you spawned!
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DeathKirby
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Final Fantasy Tactics Advance
Ok, so I bought an Gameboy Advance. I JUST NEEDED MY FINAL FANTASY FIX. DMAN YOU SQUSARE! Ok, so I spend $150 on this game, so I think it must be good. WELL GEUSS WHAT IT ISN'T!!! I DIDN'T EVEN GET PAST THE FIRST FIGHT! WOW THERES A BUNCH OF KIDS HAVING A SNOWBALL FIGHT! HOW KIDDY! JUST WHAT I CAN EXPECT FORM THE KIDDY COMPANY, GAY-TENDO! WHERE'S THE MATERIA! AND ALSO I HAVE TO THINK TO FIGHT~! I BURNT THIS GAEM AND THEN SOLD THE SYSTEM ON EBAY!
Ok, so I bought an Gameboy Advance. I JUST NEEDED MY FINAL FANTASY FIX. DMAN YOU SQUSARE! Ok, so I spend $150 on this game, so I think it must be good. WELL GEUSS WHAT IT ISN'T!!! I DIDN'T EVEN GET PAST THE FIRST FIGHT! WOW THERES A BUNCH OF KIDS HAVING A SNOWBALL FIGHT! HOW KIDDY! JUST WHAT I CAN EXPECT FORM THE KIDDY COMPANY, GAY-TENDO! WHERE'S THE MATERIA! AND ALSO I HAVE TO THINK TO FIGHT~! I BURNT THIS GAEM AND THEN SOLD THE SYSTEM ON EBAY!