Worst Movie Reviews

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Gumby dammit
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Worst Movie Reviews

#1

Post by Gumby dammit » Sun May 23, 2004 10:18 pm

This is like the Worst Reviews,but with movies. Credit to Motley Crue for starting the original Worst Reviews.

The scoring system is the same as The Worst Reviews .

LOTR: Fellowship of the ring
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
I watched this movie 'cause the book was like a thousand billion pages,and BOY did this movie suck hard!
This group of hobos with no shoes want to kill some bad guy and destroy a ring with some writing on it. I dunno what the ring is for,because I couldn't stay awake for the first 5 minutes. Why? No one was shot,decapitated,or stabbed. All it ended up to be was a buncha talking with a midget and a Santa Clause rip off.
Overall,this movie SUCKS! You'll be better off stabbing your eyes than watching this piece of poop.
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A Genius
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#2

Post by A Genius » Wed May 26, 2004 8:50 pm

Big Fish
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: x 999999999999999999 lololol

i went into this movie ecpextiing to see a bbbiiiigggggggg fhis, but i didnt seee any atall , i think that sucks the only big fish that was therer wasn't toooo big, just kinda big i WANT BIGGER FISH!!!!!!!!
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OcarinaMan
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#3

Post by OcarinaMan » Thu May 27, 2004 5:02 pm

Indiana Jones and th Raiders of the Lost Ark: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Gaah! This is a stupid movie with a stupid guy who fights with a stupid WHIP! What's a WHIP good for?
You can\'t spell \"women\" without woe.
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Gumby dammit
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#4

Post by Gumby dammit » Thu May 27, 2004 10:00 pm

^
^

But you miss my point. You're SUPPOSED to give good movies bad reviews. Yes,I read the book,and I know there's 400 or so pages. The point is to give good movies bad reviews or bad movies good reviews.

Anyway,now I'll do...

Ju-On: The Grudge
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Horror my foot! This frickin' movie didn't scare me.

Here's the plot,a brat kid and a bi*** women die and come back as ghosts to kill people. Stupid,huh?

Anyhoo,the mom kills people by sucking 'em into a black myst or something. My ears were bleeding due to the annoying sounds and japenese speech. The brat kid did nothing but scare the crap outta people,nothing more,nothing less.


NOTE: Before people start flaming me,I liked this movie,I'm giving it a bad review because that's what you do in this post. Give good movies bad reviews for fun.
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Gumby dammit
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#5

Post by Gumby dammit » Sun May 30, 2004 9:19 am

Ringu

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

What? Why is this movie bad? Uh... I dunno. It has Japenese people in it. I only gave this 5 mad faces 'cause Japenese girls are hot,even though I hate Japanese people. This review didn't make any sense to you? Well guess what? I know where you live. So make yourself make sense of this review.
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A Genius
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#6

Post by A Genius » Thu Jun 03, 2004 7:12 pm

^Truuue dat.

The Devil's Rain
:( :( :( :( :( :(

Oooh, goodness! Were to begin! The movie starts off not to terribly (other than the vile reference tyo Satan and the disgusting intro), but then a man walks right into the screen and MELTS right in front of the viewers eyes! As it progresses, the movie continues to commit other such Satan-glorifying acts often performs acts of hate against god, and stands as nothing less than a 90 minute COMMERCIAL FOR LUCIFER. I'm amazed that the good Catholics of the world didn't burn all the reels and videos of the horrid movie after its release! And worst of all is the ending, where almost every member of the cast gruesomely melts, once again in full view of the watcher! This movie is NOT fit for children!

-A Genius (This one really isn't a very good movie from any perspective, but if you ever find yourself watching it, just fast forward to the melting scene I mentioned. It's kind of gross, but somehow amusing.)

[ June 03, 2004, 06:14 PM: Message edited by: A Genius is stoopit ]
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