THIS GAME SUCKS SIMPLY BEACUSE BOLT LIKES IT AND JAY HATES IT!!!
'Nuff said.
The worst reviews. (2)
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SuperMarioBro2
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Quake 2: This one of the worst ***********************************ing games evar, and **** the **** who **** made this **** game and **** **** **** **** **** the ****ing ****ers!
_________________________________________________
But before I go, remember this...
[ April 22, 2004, 06:50 PM: Message edited by: SuperMarioBro Trigger ]
This one of the worst ***********************************ing games evar, and **** the **** who **** made this **** game and **** **** **** **** **** the ****ing ****ers!_________________________________________________
But before I go, remember this...
[ April 22, 2004, 06:50 PM: Message edited by: SuperMarioBro Trigger ]
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Blue Yoshi
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SuperMarioBro2
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Gumby dammit
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Blue Yoshi
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aikula2001
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Ooh! ^_^
Seiken Densetsu 3
This game is a suxx0rz. It's SO stupid! The heroes are dumb looking. You got some guy with retarded red hair...and his name is Duran...like the qu33r 80's band. Then there's some faget named Hawk with a girlie ponytail!! And a little girl who talks in third person and uses magic! Magic is for sissies. Real games need GUNS!!! Then there's some skanky ho named Angela. She has pointy ears! REAL PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE POINTY EARS! Then there's a guy named Kevin who turns into a wolf...A WOLF OF ALL THINGS! He's apparently a beast man. HOW STEWPID! Then there's Lise. She's a princess with a big spear...princesses suck. She should have a gun!
Next, the battles...OMG, where is the blood?! All you do is fight ****ty looking monsters with your gay weapons and stupid magic. There is no blood and gore...or guns. The graphics suck!
And then the story is too confusing. I like games where you just go shoot things for the hell of it. Those games have good graphics and the storylines aren't so gay and complicated. You just go shoot people. Unlike this piece of ****, where you have to go and TALK TO PEOPLE and collect MANA SPIRITS! That is so gay!
...^_^
Seiken Densetsu 3 <3 ^^
Seiken Densetsu 3
This game is a suxx0rz. It's SO stupid! The heroes are dumb looking. You got some guy with retarded red hair...and his name is Duran...like the qu33r 80's band. Then there's some faget named Hawk with a girlie ponytail!! And a little girl who talks in third person and uses magic! Magic is for sissies. Real games need GUNS!!! Then there's some skanky ho named Angela. She has pointy ears! REAL PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE POINTY EARS! Then there's a guy named Kevin who turns into a wolf...A WOLF OF ALL THINGS! He's apparently a beast man. HOW STEWPID! Then there's Lise. She's a princess with a big spear...princesses suck. She should have a gun!
Next, the battles...OMG, where is the blood?! All you do is fight ****ty looking monsters with your gay weapons and stupid magic. There is no blood and gore...or guns. The graphics suck!
And then the story is too confusing. I like games where you just go shoot things for the hell of it. Those games have good graphics and the storylines aren't so gay and complicated. You just go shoot people. Unlike this piece of ****, where you have to go and TALK TO PEOPLE and collect MANA SPIRITS! That is so gay!
...^_^
Seiken Densetsu 3 <3 ^^
Meep =)
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Blue Yoshi
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Cubivore
THIS GAME OWNZ CUZ YOU TEAR UP WEIRD THINGIES AND BLOOD SPURTS OUT EVERYWHERE AND YOUR THINGIE GETS IT ON AND RIPS OTHER THINGIES APART AND BLOOD COMES OUT! BLOOD! BLOOD! ONE OF THE ONLY THING A GAME NEEDS ALONG WITH GUNS AND SEX! ALL THIS GAME NEEDS IS GUNS AND IT WOULD BE PERFECT!
actually, you don't see anything when you mate, not that much blood comes out when you kill something, and this game sucks. and by the way, how many more posts until this gets archived?
THIS GAME OWNZ CUZ YOU TEAR UP WEIRD THINGIES AND BLOOD SPURTS OUT EVERYWHERE AND YOUR THINGIE GETS IT ON AND RIPS OTHER THINGIES APART AND BLOOD COMES OUT! BLOOD! BLOOD! ONE OF THE ONLY THING A GAME NEEDS ALONG WITH GUNS AND SEX! ALL THIS GAME NEEDS IS GUNS AND IT WOULD BE PERFECT!
actually, you don't see anything when you mate, not that much blood comes out when you kill something, and this game sucks. and by the way, how many more posts until this gets archived?
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DaBob-omb
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Tony Hawk's Underground
Let's face it, how much further can the Tony Hawk games go? Although Tony Hawk 4 did have countless improvements over, say, the first one, it left pretty much little more ground to cover. So, let's see what the latest entry into the franchise, Tony Hawk's Underground, has for us that we haven't seen before.
Um, okay, there's walking. That's cool.
Not only that, but apparently Activision has the Grand Theft Auto disease, a common disease that is prevalent among games released after Vice City where it becomes necessary to jack and drive cars no matter what the game is about. T.H.U.G. is no different. Here, you have the pleasure of driving cars that have horrible handling not seen since Cruis'n USA. (Well, I'm only kidding, actually. Cruis'n USA is much better.)
Not only that, but you get a really crappy story to go along with it. Now keep in mind I would never buy such a horrible game and I rented it when it came out, so my memory is a little fuzzy. However, I can probably tell you that it's about skateboarding and it sucks ass.
Maybe I wouldn't have such a problem with this game if it remained in the style of the first four, where most of the missions were about pulling off tricks with maybe one or two fetch quests thrown in. However, about 70% of every level's completion is done in fetch quests, meaning that pretty much anyone can beat the levels if they know where to go, rather than how to manuever on the skateboard.
The product placement in this game is what really ticked me off. Now, product placement is OK sometimes, such as in Gran Turismo 3, where you drive at 200 mph past advertisements along the racetrack. However, Underground just crosses the line with they way they present one of their "underground" acts. You may know them as KISS.
You might notice immediately from the moment you start playing how KISS's THREE songs (as opposed to one per artist) stick out like a sore thumb among "underground" artists such as Nas. Ah, but that is just the tip of the iceberg. The game contains promotional DVD footage of KISS, a secret level that takes place within a KISS concert, and Gene Simmons as a playable character. But on the bright side, at least you're not playing as Chester Cheetah, the Cheetos mascot.
All in all, I would have to agree with that one guy on Tony Hawk's Underground.
Let's face it, how much further can the Tony Hawk games go? Although Tony Hawk 4 did have countless improvements over, say, the first one, it left pretty much little more ground to cover. So, let's see what the latest entry into the franchise, Tony Hawk's Underground, has for us that we haven't seen before.
Um, okay, there's walking. That's cool.
Not only that, but apparently Activision has the Grand Theft Auto disease, a common disease that is prevalent among games released after Vice City where it becomes necessary to jack and drive cars no matter what the game is about. T.H.U.G. is no different. Here, you have the pleasure of driving cars that have horrible handling not seen since Cruis'n USA. (Well, I'm only kidding, actually. Cruis'n USA is much better.)
Not only that, but you get a really crappy story to go along with it. Now keep in mind I would never buy such a horrible game and I rented it when it came out, so my memory is a little fuzzy. However, I can probably tell you that it's about skateboarding and it sucks ass.
Maybe I wouldn't have such a problem with this game if it remained in the style of the first four, where most of the missions were about pulling off tricks with maybe one or two fetch quests thrown in. However, about 70% of every level's completion is done in fetch quests, meaning that pretty much anyone can beat the levels if they know where to go, rather than how to manuever on the skateboard.
The product placement in this game is what really ticked me off. Now, product placement is OK sometimes, such as in Gran Turismo 3, where you drive at 200 mph past advertisements along the racetrack. However, Underground just crosses the line with they way they present one of their "underground" acts. You may know them as KISS.
You might notice immediately from the moment you start playing how KISS's THREE songs (as opposed to one per artist) stick out like a sore thumb among "underground" artists such as Nas. Ah, but that is just the tip of the iceberg. The game contains promotional DVD footage of KISS, a secret level that takes place within a KISS concert, and Gene Simmons as a playable character. But on the bright side, at least you're not playing as Chester Cheetah, the Cheetos mascot.
All in all, I would have to agree with that one guy on Tony Hawk's Underground.
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Blue Yoshi
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Gumby dammit
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Silent Hill 3
Well,Gaynami has come out with another **** load of a game. First Xen,now this?!?! You play as a GIRL!!! GIRLS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THEY ARE IN DUKE NUKKEM!!! THEY STAND AROUND AND STRIP!!!
Blood? Yes,it does. But Eternal Darkness has more realistic blood. You can see the ****ing pixles in it! The graphics are too dark! I couldn't see a ****ing thing!
Ah yes... Guns! Yes we do have SOME good things... Like a handgun,which does next to no damage,and a submachine gun,no damage,and some other **** that I don't feel like explaining.
In short,if you buy this game,I'll be next to your bed with a knife.
Well,Gaynami has come out with another **** load of a game. First Xen,now this?!?! You play as a GIRL!!! GIRLS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THEY ARE IN DUKE NUKKEM!!! THEY STAND AROUND AND STRIP!!!
Blood? Yes,it does. But Eternal Darkness has more realistic blood. You can see the ****ing pixles in it! The graphics are too dark! I couldn't see a ****ing thing!
Ah yes... Guns! Yes we do have SOME good things... Like a handgun,which does next to no damage,and a submachine gun,no damage,and some other **** that I don't feel like explaining.
In short,if you buy this game,I'll be next to your bed with a knife.
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Blue Yoshi
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SuperMarioBro2
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Mortal Kombat Gold
What ****ing ****er made this ****ing game to ****ing disgrace the ****ing dreamcast? I'll **** on their face and tell them it's a ****ing sad ****ing excuse to ever ****ing port ****ing MK4 to a ****ing dream****ingcast so shove 3 dicks up your ass if you disagree! So ****ing help me god I'll ****ing find out who ****ing made this ****ing game and **** them
_________________________________________________
But before I go, remember this...
What ****ing ****er made this ****ing game to ****ing disgrace the ****ing dreamcast? I'll **** on their face and tell them it's a ****ing sad ****ing excuse to ever ****ing port ****ing MK4 to a ****ing dream****ingcast so shove 3 dicks up your ass if you disagree! So ****ing help me god I'll ****ing find out who ****ing made this ****ing game and **** them
_________________________________________________
But before I go, remember this...
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Gumby dammit
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Sonic Heroes
GOD! This game sucks? Teamwork? I have to actualy think in a Sonic game? Plus 5 mad faces!
Graphics are the most important part of the game,and these are PRETTY good. Minus 2 mad faces.
The characters are annoying,except for Omega,who has a machine gun,and Rouge who's hot. Minus 1 mad face.
Gameplay just sucks in this game. I see a rock. Switch to power man. Break rock. Wow. Boring and repetitive. Plus 3 mad faces.
Fun factor sucks. They MAKE you work for the SUCK emerald! Why? In other Sonic Games,they give you the emerald,and I don't mean the first ones,I mean SA1 and SA2!!! Plus 3 mad faces!
This game got 8 on the madness scale for a good reason,if you want a good game,buy Vice City for the X-Box,not the PS2 because it's gay!
GOD! This game sucks? Teamwork? I have to actualy think in a Sonic game? Plus 5 mad faces!
Graphics are the most important part of the game,and these are PRETTY good. Minus 2 mad faces.
The characters are annoying,except for Omega,who has a machine gun,and Rouge who's hot. Minus 1 mad face.
Gameplay just sucks in this game. I see a rock. Switch to power man. Break rock. Wow. Boring and repetitive. Plus 3 mad faces.
Fun factor sucks. They MAKE you work for the SUCK emerald! Why? In other Sonic Games,they give you the emerald,and I don't mean the first ones,I mean SA1 and SA2!!! Plus 3 mad faces!
This game got 8 on the madness scale for a good reason,if you want a good game,buy Vice City for the X-Box,not the PS2 because it's gay!
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DarthButcher
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10
LOZ: WIndwaker
Cel-shading?? Lamest idea ever!! I mean you could tell Nintendo was going downhill and losing money by the losuy graphics. I mean, the plot is so stupid. Let's go sail around teh world. You go around the entire game sending mail to people. Link isn't even an adult. What the FZZURS?? He should be an adult. This game is totally lame!
Visit the one, the only Nintendo Mania today. It is full of Comiks, Game Reviews, and much much more.
[ May 21, 2004, 08:32 PM: Message edited by: Lord Scott the Healer ]
LOZ: WIndwaker
Cel-shading?? Lamest idea ever!! I mean you could tell Nintendo was going downhill and losing money by the losuy graphics. I mean, the plot is so stupid. Let's go sail around teh world. You go around the entire game sending mail to people. Link isn't even an adult. What the FZZURS?? He should be an adult. This game is totally lame!
Visit the one, the only Nintendo Mania today. It is full of Comiks, Game Reviews, and much much more.
[ May 21, 2004, 08:32 PM: Message edited by: Lord Scott the Healer ]
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Blue Yoshi
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Gumby dammit
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Silent Hill 2
GRAPHICS - Since when were these top-notch graphics? I think these magazine reviewers need GLASSES! I know a good optician for ya! Grainy, rigid, blurry... ugh! Definately not good. They serve their purpose and are FAR from terrible. But I think people are far too nice to the graphics. They suck. And the fog, although I know it's there for atmosphere, does mask some pop-up. And I've seen it so there. Hey, you don't expect them to use fog for effect do you? I do Quake and UT maps and mods, I know the score!
SOUND - It's OK. The same radio effects, some groans, shuffling... *yawn* tell me when theres something interesting about them. It's standard fare. Nothing special about them at all... and the chainsaw sounds pretty terrible. Certainly nothing special here.
LIGHT - The one thing I expected the game to excel at was the use of the torch. After playing Alone In The Dark, my expectations were high. But nope. Light has been used poorly. Almost TOO poorly. Try turning the torch off... sometimes it makes no difference! Noit much more than a cheap gimmick. Hey, if Alone in the Dark can use a torch and light in an inventive manner, surely other games can too! I'm not asking miracles, I'm asking for more uses to the torch than lighting rooms.
ENEMIES - OK, I have to be nice at some point, so I'll do it here. The enemies are inventive. They are a bit gruesome. And they made me pay attention. But after you see one or two of the same enemy, well, the novelty wears off. They are also far too easy to beat (even on Hard, they're still not hard enough!). The bosses are inventive, Pyramid Head being pretty cool, but still predictable and dull.
ATMOSPHERE - *cough*None*cough*. The scariest game ever? Err, right, since when? What next? Tellytubbies? People should get a grip. I desperately played the game... almost pleading with the screen to scare me. I just wanted to jump ONCE! Not much to ask, is it? Well, it seems it is. I played the game with the lights off, in the dark... nope. No effect. The only reason I think people think it's scary is because they convinced themselves it IS scary, when actually it's pretty timid compared to CVx and AITD. Such a shame. Scary? To whom? A bunch of gibbons? Puh-lease. You insult my intelligence!
PLOT - I got lost about halfway through with the plot, and I never recovered it. If you're going to pose a question, please answer it and make sure it's sensible. It makes for a rounded experience. And to me, a good plot can always rescue the most laborious of games (AITD being a nice example!). But the ending made no sense whatsoever, events are left with no explanation and theres no clue to what Maria really is. I have a good mind to beat up the storywriters. How much are they being payed to write this trash? Jeez, I get paid zilch for my stories and they're infinately better. Note to Team Silent - MUST. DO. BETTER.
ANIMATIONS - Wooden. The same old flaws from the original. Terrible running animation. Jerky movements when you don't want them. Motion captured? From what? Monkeys? What a total waste of money... as for the facial animations... don't get me started... oh alright, please do. Bad lip sync. Terrible detail (some detail INSIDE the mouth would have helped!). Jerky. Uninspiring. Terrible. Team Silent, be ashamed. Be very, VERY ashamed.
WEAPONS - Not much to say on this. Standard fare. Nothing extra special. Chainsaw on second play - big whoop. Wood Plank, Handgun, Steel Pole, Shotgun, Rifle... zzzzz... oh, sorry, must have dozed off there for a second!
GRAPHICS - Since when were these top-notch graphics? I think these magazine reviewers need GLASSES! I know a good optician for ya! Grainy, rigid, blurry... ugh! Definately not good. They serve their purpose and are FAR from terrible. But I think people are far too nice to the graphics. They suck. And the fog, although I know it's there for atmosphere, does mask some pop-up. And I've seen it so there. Hey, you don't expect them to use fog for effect do you? I do Quake and UT maps and mods, I know the score!
SOUND - It's OK. The same radio effects, some groans, shuffling... *yawn* tell me when theres something interesting about them. It's standard fare. Nothing special about them at all... and the chainsaw sounds pretty terrible. Certainly nothing special here.
LIGHT - The one thing I expected the game to excel at was the use of the torch. After playing Alone In The Dark, my expectations were high. But nope. Light has been used poorly. Almost TOO poorly. Try turning the torch off... sometimes it makes no difference! Noit much more than a cheap gimmick. Hey, if Alone in the Dark can use a torch and light in an inventive manner, surely other games can too! I'm not asking miracles, I'm asking for more uses to the torch than lighting rooms.
ENEMIES - OK, I have to be nice at some point, so I'll do it here. The enemies are inventive. They are a bit gruesome. And they made me pay attention. But after you see one or two of the same enemy, well, the novelty wears off. They are also far too easy to beat (even on Hard, they're still not hard enough!). The bosses are inventive, Pyramid Head being pretty cool, but still predictable and dull.
ATMOSPHERE - *cough*None*cough*. The scariest game ever? Err, right, since when? What next? Tellytubbies? People should get a grip. I desperately played the game... almost pleading with the screen to scare me. I just wanted to jump ONCE! Not much to ask, is it? Well, it seems it is. I played the game with the lights off, in the dark... nope. No effect. The only reason I think people think it's scary is because they convinced themselves it IS scary, when actually it's pretty timid compared to CVx and AITD. Such a shame. Scary? To whom? A bunch of gibbons? Puh-lease. You insult my intelligence!
PLOT - I got lost about halfway through with the plot, and I never recovered it. If you're going to pose a question, please answer it and make sure it's sensible. It makes for a rounded experience. And to me, a good plot can always rescue the most laborious of games (AITD being a nice example!). But the ending made no sense whatsoever, events are left with no explanation and theres no clue to what Maria really is. I have a good mind to beat up the storywriters. How much are they being payed to write this trash? Jeez, I get paid zilch for my stories and they're infinately better. Note to Team Silent - MUST. DO. BETTER.
ANIMATIONS - Wooden. The same old flaws from the original. Terrible running animation. Jerky movements when you don't want them. Motion captured? From what? Monkeys? What a total waste of money... as for the facial animations... don't get me started... oh alright, please do. Bad lip sync. Terrible detail (some detail INSIDE the mouth would have helped!). Jerky. Uninspiring. Terrible. Team Silent, be ashamed. Be very, VERY ashamed.
WEAPONS - Not much to say on this. Standard fare. Nothing extra special. Chainsaw on second play - big whoop. Wood Plank, Handgun, Steel Pole, Shotgun, Rifle... zzzzz... oh, sorry, must have dozed off there for a second!
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supperdish
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(Some retard in our school thinks this. I'm bolding the horribly gay parts.)
THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: THE WIND WAKER
In 1998, Nintendo released its first Zelda game, OOT. Then the 2nd one came, called Major's Mask. It was okay but not as good as the first one. Then they decided to bring some boring ones on the Game Boys, which sucked. They had bad graphics and no violence. The "Link to the Past" sucked.
Finallly, we get a good 3-d one with lots of blood and stuff right? Wrong!! We get a gay little quest with a guy with a fat head that has emotion! Ew! ALL THE GOOD GAMERS WANT REAL GORE, EVERYTHING ELSE SUCKS! I'M RIGHT CUS IT IS TRUE! MY OPINION IS THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS! KIDDY GRAPHICS SUCK! WE NEED BLOOD AND GUNS AND SEX!SCREW YOU, NINTENDO! SCREW YOU!
THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: THE WIND WAKER
In 1998, Nintendo released its first Zelda game, OOT. Then the 2nd one came, called Major's Mask. It was okay but not as good as the first one. Then they decided to bring some boring ones on the Game Boys, which sucked. They had bad graphics and no violence. The "Link to the Past" sucked.
Finallly, we get a good 3-d one with lots of blood and stuff right? Wrong!! We get a gay little quest with a guy with a fat head that has emotion! Ew! ALL THE GOOD GAMERS WANT REAL GORE, EVERYTHING ELSE SUCKS! I'M RIGHT CUS IT IS TRUE! MY OPINION IS THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS! KIDDY GRAPHICS SUCK! WE NEED BLOOD AND GUNS AND SEX!SCREW YOU, NINTENDO! SCREW YOU!