I hate chess with every fibre of my soul

[Booyakasha]

I hope you looked the other way sometimes. Kids need a bit of scolding, but they also need little victories. Makes them well-rounded. Little bit of troublemaking and getting away with it is endemic and beneficial to the species-----------that's how you get Tennysons and Kiplings, Hemingways, and eagle scouts, and goonies.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

I remember going to a local Street Fighter 4 tournament a long time ago and a little girl like 8 years old was beating my ass. I lost the first match and everyone thought I was just being a wholesome nice guy, but really I was trying my hardest to curbstomp her.

I'm actually pretty good at it on PS3 but I underestimated just how bad the 360 d-pad was lol

[Booyakasha]

Hey, kids can be vicious. Kids don't have no boundaries, no filters at all. Iree will just tell me straight-up to my face that I'm a fatso, and she isn't doing it to be mean, she's just acknowledging the facts. I'm a fatso.

"If you can't take the heat", yeah. Kids will take you down and roast you.

[Deku Tree]

Yeah, I let her get away with it sometimes. Sometimes I played that I had suspicions about how lucky she was but can't prove anything. If she was being a little too blatant I'd call her out red-handed and remind her that her peers will prefer she plays fair when she plays games with them.

Kinda appreciated her thinking through a way to exert some influence on the outcome of the game. The meta game of, "get away with tricking daddy" was the more fun part of it all.

[Booyakasha]

Aww. Get you.

You're a good man and a good dad, Deku. Don't you never doubt it.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Yeah, Deku definitely sounds like a good dad to me.

Hey, kids can be vicious. Kids don't have no boundaries, no filters at all. Iree will just tell me straight-up to my face that I'm a fatso, and she isn't doing it to be mean, she's just acknowledging the facts. I'm a fatso.

"If you can't take the heat", yeah. Kids will take you down and roast you.

Yep they can be, but she was a cute, well-behaved kid and a gracious victor at least. I did edge out a victory by the end of the set, it was pretty fun.

My nephew is like your niece, he'll just let loose on me. He actually can be a mean kid, but I was too, so I can't hold it against him too much. He's pretty sensitive at the same time though, he can't take any of his own medicine lol

[Booyakasha]

Yep they can be, but she was a cute, well-behaved kid and a gracious victor at least. I did edge out a victory by the end of the set, it was pretty fun.

Hey, good for her.

I had some kids up at camp who could outshoot me at archery blindfolded. I wasn't hurt, I crowed over them. They was always bashful, because that's just how scouts are, and I praised 'em over the moon.

Lot of scouts come from broken homes. Dads barely act like they care whether the kids live or die, and it's horrible. It breaks the heart to see. For all you know you and the scoutmasters might be the only positive male role-models a boy has. I decided early on I wanted to try and be the Merlin to every young Arthur that crossed my path. Not simply to instruct, but also to educate and edify, and show kids that they matter. That they had an intrinsic value, and they should on a fundamental level seek to better themselves. (That also is how you get eagle scouts.)

[Booyakasha]

So, uhh, weird question-------------do any of you guys have memories of playing games and not remember any of the rules, or that there were rules? Like, when we were kids, we had Cootie. It was from the same game manufactory that made Ants in the Pants and Don't Break the Ice! (we had the version with a very racist depiction of a scared Esquimaux on the box), but I don't remember there being rules, I just liked putting Cooties together.

I didn't realise that the tongue was supposed to be a tongue, I thought the Cootie was smoking a pipe.

Mom got us Life when I was like six, and I remember playing it with Mom and Sis, and I don't remember anything aside from spinning the spinner and putting pegs in the car. Life is baffling when you're six. (Life is also baffling when you're forty-one. Ahahaha it's like an irony humour social commentary thing but without it being clever at all)

Why would anyone buy a six-year-old Life? We already had Crossfire. After the kids have Crossfire, you can actually stop buying them new toys forever. If they ask for new toys, say "we have Crossfire," and the kids will yell "Crossfire!" and go play Crossfire. (Also works when kids want clothes, heat, food, medicine or love.)

[EDIT: Mousetrap is like the perfect example of this phenomenon. My sister and I never played Mousetrap, we would simply set up the Mousetrap and set it off over and over again. (Although, to be fair, the game of Mousetrap sucks and barely matters. If Sis and I had ever played Mousetrap 'correctly', it would have been a boring forty-minute slog in which we got to see the Mousetrap go off correctly one single time.

Crappy kids follow the rules. Goonies make their own fun, and that's Good Enough.)

[CaptHayfever]

So you're saying they'll get caught up in it?

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Deku Tree]

Yeah, I never learned the rules to Life. That sounds like a lyric, but I mean literally the game.

For some reason, I for years I had to be reminded how to play 42 every time my in-laws want to play. I'm not even bad at it, but for some reason I couldn't retain how to play that game specifically.

I also remember renting a couple video games and having no idea what I was doing. One was Manic Mansion. I was just kinda wandering around without a goal. I think I blew the house up once. The other one I remember wasn't my fault, because as it turns out it wasn't even a video game, but a Tarot card reading simulator called Taboo.

[Booyakasha]

So you're saying they'll get caught up in it?

I wasn't saying it yet.

[CaptHayfever]

Yeah, I never learned the rules to Life. That sounds like a lyric, but I mean literally the game.

Older editions of Life had all the rules printed on the board itself, so you didn't need to learn them. Newer editions, however, not so much.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Booyakasha]

You know, the Hasbro videogame versions of the old board games obviate the need for the physical versions of the board games, and also obviate the need for the videogame versions. Life is bullcrap. Risiko is bullcrap. Battleship is bullcrap. Clue is allowed to live because the movie is fun. Monopoly can screw off. Is Stratego actually the closest thing to a good game Hasbro has? Pffft. Hasbeens, more like.

...Hasbro should use all their pathetic Ouija boards to conjure up an idea that isn't the stupidest thing ever. Or they could just suck a butt, that'd be okay, too.

[Deku Tree]

I've never played Stratego. I've been curious, though.

I had a bit of fun playing Monopoly on VGF once, but mostly because I tried to spice it up with some cutthroat, unorthodox negotiating tactics.

[Booyakasha]

Stratego is alright. It's like chess or checkers, but fun. Or like, if Risiko didn't last a hundred hours and make you wish you died as a child.

[Deku Tree]

My wife got very upset about a game of Risk we played once. She was winning, so the only chance the rest of us had was allying against her. She took it personally. She would not hear it that we were aiming to keep her from winning so that we might, and not because we wanted her specifically to lose.

[Booyakasha]

Wait. Is it called 'Risk'? I feel like I'm experiencing the Mandela effect. I swear it's 'Risiko'. I've never cared enough to keep tabs on 'Risiko', I hate 'Risiko', 'Risiko' is a swirling nightmare. I could swear it on the cross. Is this like the Berenstain Bears thing?

...okay. It's 'Risiko' on my copy. Is it usually 'Risk'? It's possible I have a weird European iteration-----------I had about a billion Tante Ingrids and Opa Felixes when I was little.

[CaptHayfever]

RisiKo is an Italian variation of Risk with slightly different rules.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Booyakasha]

...cool beans. Sorry. Thanks. Sorry. Jeeps.

Got the wild willies for a second, there.

[Deku Tree]

I had to look up Risiko to confirm you were talking about essentially the same game, so we've each learned something.