The worst reviews. (2)

[Codiekitty]

Elemental Master (Genesis)


What the crap. WHAT the crap. WHAT THE CRAP. I can't believe this game. It's an Ikaruga ripoff where you play as this little man instead of a spaceship. What the crap? Shooters aren't supposed to have little men in them unless they're flying the ship. They're not supposed to have wizards. THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT SPACESHIPS! I got so irritated at this that I just threw the little man into a pool of lava, ripped theg ame out, and popped in a REAL shooter; Halo!


Where are these lemmings going? The Super Nintendo Super Shire! Hop in line and follow them there!

[Sim Kid]

Dragon Warrior




How the HECK did THIS get to be the best selling game in Japan?! This is probably the biggest piece of **** I have EVER seen!! you only have 1 character-ONE CHARACTER?! How can you have an RPG with just ONE CHARACTER?! This is NOT a console style RPG!!! Console Style RPGs have you have 3 or 4 or even 5 characters!! Here, you only have ONE FREAKING CHARACTER!!! And you start the game off attacking with a STICK!!! A STICK?! WHAT USE IS THAT FOR?! UNLESS YOU PLAN ON THROWING IT FOR THE ENEMY TO FETCH, THEN WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE A STICK WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE A GUN OR SWORD OR EVEN BETTER, A GUNBLADE!! And you can later get a COPPER SWORD!! COPPER IS NOT A MATERIAL USED FOR SWORDSMANSHIP!!!

The storyline is teh sucks!! You are the descendant of a guy named Roto-oops I mean Loto, no wait-Edrick, Or is it-Damn! Well whatever the hell his name is, you are his descendant and are the only one who can defeat the Dragonlord. DRAGONLORD? What a gay name!! Even Gayer than Roto, Loto, Edrick, or Lassic from the Final-Fantasy-ripoff known-only as Phantasy Star. (Sega is stupid-They can't even spell Fantasy right!!) And those battle scenes are teh sucks too!! It says "A whatever draws near! Command?" GAY!! And even when you fight the Final boss, it says "A dragonlord draws near! Command?" A dragon lord draws near?! There's more than one? OH NO JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THE GAME COULDN'T GET ANY GAYER!!

And you have to rescue a stupid ***** named Lady Lora-oops I mean Gwaelin or someother name that's hard to spell. THAT IS SO STUPID!!

And you have to open up a menu just to go up stairs!! GOING UP STAIRS AREN'T THAT HARD YOU RETARD!!

Overall, Dragon warrior is probably the gayest piece of **** I have ever seen on the NES-However the hell this got to be the number 1 seller in japan is way beyond me-It sucks.

[OcarinaMan]

Paper Mario:

Trust me. You don't want to play this game.
1) It's made by Shig-gay-ru Miyamoto and KIDtendo.
2) It's MARIO
3) It has stupid paper graphics
4) You have "help" from a Goomba, Koopa, bomb, flying Koopa, ghost, shiny thing, fish, and Lakitu
5) You get to go to a toybox, turtle fortress, and Yoshi Island.

Bottom line: Don't get this piece of crap.

[Sim Kid]

Ape Escape




Not only are the graphics in this game so bad they can be on the nintendo gamecube, but we have to use BOTH ANALOG STICKS TO ATTACK!! I HATE HAVING TO USE THE RIGHT ANALOG STICK!!! NO ONE USES DUAL ANALOG COMBAT!!! DO YOU SEE FINAL FANTASY 7 USING DUAL ANALOG COMBAT? DO YOU SEE XENOGEARS USING DUAL ANALOG COMBAT?! NO!!! THE POINT IS YOU CAN'T USE DUAL ANALOG COMBAT OR DUAL ANALOG ANYTHING!!! And those rowboat controls...ARGH!! WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS!!

But Spike and Jake are cool-In fact, so cool they don't even belong in this piece of **** but would rather fit in Final Fantasy Tactics Advance instead of MARSHA (Marche) and MEWPOO! (Mewt) I WILL REVIEW FINAL ECSTASY TICTACS ADVANCE LATER!!!!! Goodbye 'yall, and remember-DO NOT PLAY SONIC HEROES OR THIS GAME!!!!

[Banned from VGF]

Hop on Pop The Video Game For Game Boy Advance Super Proffessional Office Version


Whoever the hell ever thought of this game needs to be shot. Literally. Even though this game proves to be nonexistant, the real reason why I'm reviewing this is because of 1.My brains insanity thought up the idea and 2. those damn Moombas from FFVIII who peep my tat. All that the game is just collectacraptastic gameplay that is fortune magazine worty yet sexually arousing with excellent sound and graphics that rivals Squeenix titles of which, are dieing. Even seeing the title of the game makes me barf of it's godly excellence and it's LightBrite Use Of Capitol Letters which proves that both the Toofairy and Imaginary Friend from the planet Uioapiatanahanowy do exist which makes me bowelize my insides into the toilet which ends my dumbassed but weirdly funny review.

[Sim Kid]

^Was that actually a game?

[OcarinaMan]

Ocarina of Time:
This isn't rated 8 mad smilies because it's a bad game. Actually, it's surprisingly decent for such an evil game. No, this is rated this much because of the shockingly demonic hidden messages that are all over this game:
1) The Kokiri are a race of eternally young forest people who never leave their forest. This encourages young children to never grow up or take responsibility for their actions.
2) After Link defeats the second dungeon, Gorons roll up to him and attempt to hug him as Link runs. This encourages homosexuality and judging people based on their appearances.
3) The Great Fairy is a woman who is next to naked and wears nothing but vines. This encourages immodesty and loose morals.
4) Ruto is a Zora girl who goes around naked and attempts to seduce Link. This encourages loose morals and premarital sex.
5) There are 3 stones as a child, and 6 sages as an adult. Obviously, the number 6 three times is 666, the number of the devil. This highlights Nintendo's deal with the devil.

Bottom Line: Do not buy this evil and demonic game!

Meanwhile, we recommend "BMX XXX" as good, clean, and wholesome family fun.

[Banned from VGF]

Originally posted by Douglas.EXE:
^Was that actually a game?

No, it was actually a game that I thought up.

[Sim Kid]

Well we're actually supposed to give bad reviews to great games like a moronic Gamefaqer so no making up games!!


Blaster Master





For being a game filled with mutations and guns and violence, there is not a drop of blood in the game!! YOU HEAR ME? NOT A DROP OF BLOOD!! I wanna see blood and gore and veins in my teeth, I mean kill, kill, KILL KILL KILL KILL!! So now I'm jumping up and down shouting "KILL!!" and this is seriously a terrible game!!! Jason is nothing but blatant ripoff of Damus Aran who was also a ripoff of a storm trooper from Fart Warts! This is seriously a bad game but there is NO BLOOD THEREFORE IT AUTOMATICALLY SUCKS!! I haven't even played this game past the first 7 minutes, but I KNOW IT SUCKS!!! Even BIONIC COMMANDO is better than this and that's only because of the explosion at the end of the game!!! BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!


(Whoever spots the famous quote and posts where it came from first gets a cookie)

[supperdish]

Originally posted by OcarinaMan:
Ocarina of Time:
This isn't rated 8 mad smilies because it's a bad game. Actually, it's surprisingly decent for such an evil game. No, this is rated this much because of the shockingly demonic hidden messages that are all over this game:
1) The Kokiri are a race of eternally young forest people who never leave their forest. This encourages young children to never grow up or take responsibility for their actions.
2) After Link defeats the second dungeon, Gorons roll up to him and attempt to hug him as Link runs. This encourages homosexuality and judging people based on their appearances.
3) The Great Fairy is a woman who is next to naked and wears nothing but vines. This encourages immodesty and loose morals.
4) Ruto is a Zora girl who goes around naked and attempts to seduce Link. This encourages loose morals and premarital sex.
5) There are 3 stones as a child, and 6 sages as an adult. Obviously, the number 6 three times is 666, the number of the devil. This highlights Nintendo's deal with the devil.

Bottom Line: Do not buy this evil and demonic game!

Meanwhile, we recommend "BMX XXX" as good, clean, and wholesome family fun.

LOL!!!!!!!

Of course, I can't put my sig...

[Codiekitty]

Originally posted by Douglas.EXE:
Even BIONIC COMMANDO is better than this and that's only because of the explosion at the end of the game!!!

...you callin' Bionic Commando crap?

If so, care to explain (okay, the odd "jumping" mechanism, I understand completely)?


Where are these lemmings going? The Super Nintendo Super Shire! Hop in line and follow them there!

[Sim Kid]

Um, CK, We're supposed to trash good games here, and Bionic Commando is a good game.


House of the Dead 2




House of the Dead was a great came simply because of the bloody deaths and violent explosions and guns. House of the Dead 2, being as bloody as it is, is simply the WORST GAME EVER!!! I can't even beat Judgement Type 28!!! It's literally the HARDEST BOSS EVER IN THE HISTORY OF GAMING!!! IT'S EVEN HARDER THAN THE ****ING DRAGON TANK IN CHRONO TRIGGER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! I don't even CARE about the amount of blood and violence in the game, but that's the reason it's only got one mad face!!!

[Banned from VGF]

Well we're actually supposed to give bad reviews to great games like a moronic Gamefaqer so no making up games!!

Screw that, I'm going rogue and acting either like Seanbaby or someone who's sanity has been seriously f'ed up and is dissing a game and praising it at the same time; after all, it can be a bit boring to sound like a Gamefaqer all the time in this topic since I know that not all Gamefaqers use caps.

Kingdom Hearts



We know that all Disney games are crap, but with few exceptions like Disney Sports(a game from God himself), Lizzie Maguire(A great way to continue the Donkey Kong franchise with excellent collecting coins for the shopaholic extremist and even includes fortune-telling!) and Disney Party(Who needs a boared map? I'll just pay $20.00 for some Pokemon minigames that are FUN! FUN! FUN!!!)
but this game frankly sucks, kupo. I mean, your ship is ****, because it can't travel through time and isn't a boat or a train, just a stupid customizable ship that is in no need of customizing because customizing involves pressing all the buttons at once and see what happens. It'll be a yerafilopillion times better if it were a train since Back to the Future and it's sequels KICKS ASS! I mean, the Gameplay is horrible, just try moving around and watch the game either freeze up or end up in a battle with a weird Final Fantasyish enemy like a Hoytovalable thats been "Heartlesstized". And the main characters that are with you the whole game are Donald and Goofy. Why not some other classic characters like Clarabell Cow and Mortimer Mouse? Why not take other characters to other worlds? THERE IS A HOUSE OF MOUSE YOU DUMBASSES FROM SQUARE! Ok, now adjust the cameras, which in this game are crap, I mean, they should at least try and used the fixed cameras from Final Fantasy for that extra New Zelda smell when you first get OOT or Wind Waker, at least they use the Lock-on to look foward, backward, frontways and sideways and longways and slantways and shortways and all the other ways that the Wonkavator possesses. Now onto sound which is what you don't give a damn about; unless if you like Tetris that is, the music however is annoyingly fruity, that reminds you of a mix of hearing an all gay boys choir and all the crappy American Idol singers all at once. Even the sound effects and vocals are bad. How much did they pay Lance Bass to do just a few lines of Sephiroth's voices? 2 million? and with all that efforts a waste. You barely even notice that they are the voice talent behind those characters until the end of the game and even Donald Duck and Goofy's voices gets old so fast. Sound effects I don't give a damn so lets skip that and move on to Graphics which are the most important type of game and since this is so fricken long, I'll guess that 99.9% of all of you would read the bottom. Graphics are a waste since they could've put more energy into other worlds instead of focusing on how purty it looks. In fact, it so good that it should've been made blocky to complete people's wants for other worlds. IT IS THAT GOOD!!! I CAN SEE FINGERNAILS AND EYELASHES FLAWLESSLY TEH GRAPHICS ARE SO ****IN SWEET!! Onto Story which is half assed with crap like Heartless and Ansem and so forth and doesn't deserve campfire treats and since my humor is tiring you, I'll end thi...*gets killed by FF7 fanboys*


So what do you think of this?

[ March 22, 2004, 07:52 PM: Message edited by: Coke Addict ]

[Sim Kid]

Dark Cloud





I believe that this stupid piece of **** was sent by satan to torture all mankind!!! The game is TOTALLY GHEY!!! You play as a wimp named Toan-TOAN?! WHAT THE (Profanity) KIND OF NAME IS THAT!!! PS2 CHARACTERS SHOULD HAVE NAMES LIKE TIDUS OR AURON EVEN THOUGH THIS WAS AROUND FIRST BUT BACK ON TOPIC TO WHY THIS GAME SUCKS!!! You play as a whimp named TOAN who wears a GREEN BERET AND AN ORANGE PONCHO!!! WHAT THE (Profanity) KIND OF HERO IS THAT?! Toan one day is going to some ghey and retarted festival in his ghey and retarted village and suddenley some ghey freak named DARK GENIE attacks. DARK GENIE?! OOOOH I AM SO AFRAID!!! And get this-DARK GENIE LOOKS LIKE MAJIN BUU!!! MAJIN BUU!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?! MAJIN BLEEPING BUU!!! And you have a stupid moron named "Colenal Flag" who's controlling him. His name should be COLENAL *** because he is so stupid!!! And then when MAJIN GENIE BUU attacks the village, everyone runs for help and screams-NOTHING BUT A RIPOFF OF THE BEGINNING OF FINAL FANTASY X!!! And suddenley, you are saved by aniother retart named "The Fairy King". DOES HE LOOK LIKE A FAIRY TO YOU?! NO WINGS!!! And he gives you a stupid stone called the "Atlamilla" which can rebuild the village but yo have to find all the stupid Atla and rebuild it yourself. Oooh, so now we have the chance to be creative, making the game LESS FUN than it already is! That is EXACTLY why Sim City sucks!!! And the Fairy king doesn't even give a **** about what happens to you-HE'S SO USELESS, YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE LARRY KING HELPING YOU!!!

Oh, and the ghey retart named toan gets more equally dumb allies with him.

Xiao: Stupid Cat girl who uses a stupid slingshot.

Goro: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES-IT'S THE 500 LBS MONSTER-Err I mean Penny Bain-Err Goro! He comes down and challenges you to a Final Fantasy X-Overdrive ripoff duel and then just runs away until you kill some stupid snake in another final Fantasy X-overdrive ripoff duel. He uses a hammer but is even slower than Tidus's brain with it!!!

Ruby: The only GOOD character because she reminds me of Yuna in Final Fantasy X-2, only she wears pants that go below her thighs.

Ungaga: Idiot Desert warrior who attacks with a bloody STICK when you first get him. He then moves to a stupid SPEAR-Oh wait, that's not a spear! It doesn't look at all like Kamarhi's weapon, I heard some people call it a Kwandao but I do NOT CARE!!! It's NOT A SPEAR!!!

Osmond: A FLYING BUNNY!! IT'S THE EASTER BUNNY AND HE'S GOT A MACHINE GUN!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!


And the worst part about the game is that you spend almost ALL YOUR TIME IN THE DUNGEONS!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?! ALMOST ALL YOUR TIME!! The only thing you do in dungeons is walk in, fight enemies, heal up, and fight bhe boss, then move on after rebuilding the stupid village. BOOOOOO!!!! I heard Dark Cloud is a "Dungeon stalker" but it's NOT AN RPG BECAUSE IT'S NOTHING AT ALL LIKE FINAL FANTASY X EVEN THOUGH THIS WAS AROUND FIRST!!! This is NOTHING BUT A BLATANT FINAL FANTASY X-MEETS SIM CITY MEETS ZELDA RIPOFF!!!! AVOID this game at ALL costs and play a real game like Final Fantasy X or Halo!!!

[Godot]

Super Mario Brothers



You are some fat ass cow name Mario who has a skinny ass brother name Luigi, and you stumble into the drug impaired "Mushroom Kingdom" Where everyone is frozen into stone, except for a blonde bimbo which resembles a 6 foot tall Barbie doll. Her name is Princess Toadstool (....) and she is captive by an overgrown teenage mutant ninja turtle wannabee named King Koopa. She has the power (Considering she wants to be like He-man) to turn the things called "Toads" back into their origanal selfs. The Mario Brothers must save her, and destory K.K. I find this hard because there is no way in hell to kill him without a gun. You don't even get to take the axe and chop him up! You can only jump, shoot fireballs, and run! And when you get to the end, you rescue this Toad which said "The princess is in another castle." I mean, I killed the (*Ahem*) turtle! And the game restarts over and you hear the stupid ass song all over again!
"DO DO DO DA DO DO DO DO DO DA DO DO DO DO DA DO DO!" And may I add... "DO DO DO DO DO DO *Pause* DO DO DO DO DO DO" Also sometimes you get "DO DO DO DO DO DA DO" DO DO DO my ass! It gets on your nerves! Plus I stare at the blocky thing all day! Haven't these Nintendo people heard of 3-D?

I suggest you should buy the Smurfs for the Atari.
---

How's that?

[Sim Kid]

^Lol.


Harry Pothead and the Sorcerer's Stoned for Gay Boy Advance





Today we will be reviewing Harry cocksmoker for Gay Boy advance. This is quite possibly one of the WORST GAMES EVER CREATED!!! Why? Well let me explain.
First off, it's for the Gay Boy Advance-And I can't see the screen to know what the **** is going on the game!! Because It's hard to see what's going on, This is a BIG DRAWBACK to Harry Bladder and the Coroner's Bone. I heard there is a Gay Boy Advance SP (With the S standing for "Stupid" and the P standing for "Poop") with Backlit screens, but I'm not going to waste a hundred dollars for that, also, after playing Harry Butthead, I don't know how I can bring myself to play another Gay Boy Advance game. Ever.
Now to the actual game itself. The graphics are horrible. Simply horrible. Harry Potter is practically a life-sized figure which is a No-No on the Gay Boy Advance but a Yes if it's on the PS2 game. In Final Fantasy X, the life-sized figures are a great touch but here it sux badly
The gameplay is terrible, Harry Planner can get quite some attack power at a distance but almost NO attacking at close range. In Wind Waker, your character gets almost nothing at a distance but is immortal close range, and here, it's a drawback because you do NOT have anything like a sword. This is Wizard school, but can't you use the stupid wand as a Weapon Harry ******* ?
And the music simply sucks. There's almost no voices like there are in Halo. It just sux terribly.
And most importantly, this was based off a movie and they made a book about it. Harry Potthead now has a famous book series made after his movies and the stupid games. The books are simply too long-The first one alone is 300 pages!! 300 pages!!! 300 frickin pages!!! I simply DO NOT KNOW what the hell this Loser Potter stuff is.

Overall, do NOT get this game what EVER you do. It's the last Gay Boy Advance game you would EVER want to play.

Oh, and remember this:


Harry's a Pothead and the Sorcerer's Stoned.

[LOOT]

^Actually, HP:SS really isn't a great game.

Mega Man 2


WHAT IS WITH THIS CRAP?!?! I don't know how to play this game. As a matter of fact, I never played a Nintendo. But some Microsoft-like person said something about Megaman and said it's only on Nintendo and he's against Nintendo. My other nerd-friend said that what you do is run in a 2-D stage, shooting at enemies and taking abilities. I thought that wasn't much of a plot. Then I thought if I could think that, then I could send in a review to GameFAQs as I have absolutly no life at all! Konami should be ashammed they made such a terrible game, and join with Capcom!...I think Konami made it...
If you want to play a real game, get E.T. for Atari 2600. It's much better than any NES game. And it's ET! He's a movie person!

Good?

[Sim Kid]

Final Fantasy 8




THIS GAME IS THE **** OF THE PLAYSTATION!!! THIS IS SO BAD IT PUTS XENOGEARS AND LEGEND OF DRAGOON TO SHAME!!! IT IS SIMPLY CRAP!!!! CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!!!

THE GRAPHICS SUCK!!! THE GRAPHICS IN FINAL FANTASY 7 WERE ALOT BETTER THAN THE GRAPHICS HERE!!!! COMPARE THESE TO FINAL FANTASY 7'S GRAPHICS AND THESE GRAPHICS ARE NOTHING BUT STEAMING PILE OF HORSE ****!!! THEY SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK!!!! I SIMPLY HATE THESE GRAPHICS AND THAT THOSE "FMV's" ABSOLUTLEY SUCK!!! THE REGULAR GRAPHICS OF FINAL FANTASY 7 BEAT THE FMVS ANYDAY!!! EVERY ONE OF THE GRAPHICS IN THIS GAME ABSOLUTLEY SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK!!!!!!

MY BIGGEST GRIPE IS THAT THIS IS NOT A SEQUAL TO FINAL FANTASY 7!!!! WELL SURE THIS IS FINAL FANTASY BUT THIS IS SIMPLY THE WORST ****ING PLAYSTATION RPG OF THEM ALL EXCEPT FOR THE BLATANT LEGEND OF DRAGGON AND THE NON-FINAL-FANTASY XENOGEARS!!!! EVEN THOUGH THE STORYLINE OF FINAL FANTASY 7 ENDED WITH 500 YEARS LATER THIS STORYLINE IS ABOUT AN IDIOT NAMED SQUALL-SQUALL?! WHAT THE **** KIND OF HAME IS THAT?! TO HELL WITH SQUALL AND NAME HIM CLOUD AFTER THE HERO HE'S GOING TO BE COMPARED TOO!!! AND SQUALL HAS A STUPID GIRLFRIEND NAMED RINOA!! TO HELL WITH THAT NAME!!! NAME HER AERITH OR AERIS OR TIFA!!!! I HAVE NEVER EVEN PLAYED MORE THAN 2 MINUTES OF THIS GAME BUT FINAL FANTASY 7 OWNS THIS STUPID GAME'S ASS!!!


THE BATTLE SYSTEM SUCKS!!! IT EXPLAINS IT ALL IN THE MANUAL BUT WHO THE HELL READS THOSE DAMN PIECES OF PAPER ANYWAY? I SIMPLY HATE THAT ****ING BATTLE SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!! I COULDN'T EVEN WIN THE FIRST BOSS BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID MAGIC SYSTEM!! MATERIA RULES AND JUNCTIONING DROOLS!!! THIS GAME IS CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!!! IT'S NOTHING BUT CRAP!!

THE MUSIC ISN'T EVEN AT ALL LIKE IT IS IN FINAL FATNASY 7 SO IT MUST SUCK!!!

AND DID I MENTION THAT THIS GAME IS THE SEQUAL TO FINAL FANTASY 7 SO IT SHOULD BE A TRUE SEQUEL TO FINAL FANTASY 7? THIS IS WHY THE GAME SUCKS!!! IT SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!!!

AND DID I MENTION THAT FINAL FANTASY 7 HAS THE BEST CHARACTER MODELS THAT ARE EVEN BETTER THAN THE ONES IN X? THIS GAME SIMPLY IS THE WORST GAME EVER CREATED!! IT'S GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY!!!! IT'S EVEN GAYER THAN LEGEND OF DRAGOON!!!


OVERALL, THIS GAME ISN'T EVEN WORTHY OF BEING USED AS A COASTER FOR YOUR BEER!!! THIS GAME HAS TERRIBLE GRAPHICS THAT FINAL FANTASY 7 MADE BETTER, GOD-AWFUL BATTLE CONTROLS, AND A GAY STORYLINE!!! NO ONE WANTS ROMANCE AND AN EVIL SORCERESS!!! BRING BACK SEPHIROTH OR SHINRA CORP!!! DOWN WITH ULTEMECIA AND UP WITH SEPHRIOTH!!! EVERYONE WHO LIKES THIS GAME IS A (Profanity) MORON!!!! THIS GAME SHOULD BE BURIED WITH THE REST OF THE CRAP-PS1 GAMES LIKE LEGEND OF DRAGOON, XENOGEARS, AND E.T FOR THE ATARI1!!! IT'S TOO GAY TO BE PLAYED!!!

[Virtual Cat]

Game: Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing
System: PC

Score: times infinity

This is one of the greatest games ever made. The fact that there is no sound is great, because the sounds of typical racing games are very, very annoying. The fact that the graphics are muddy and the big rigs look like giant cardboard boxes prove that games don't need good graphics to be amazing.

This is a racing game, but to be more accesable to everyone, your opponent doesn't move at all, allowing for easy victories. You can pass through every obstacle on the track (this includes buildings and even your opponent!), proving that racing is mind over matter. See those mountains? Don't worry about them. You can drive right up them, proving that not even mountains can stop you! See the endless boundaries of white past the mountains? You can drive right through it, proving that anything is possible!

When you win a race, you'll be treated by a screen that says, "You're winner!" This brings a tear to my eye that a mentally handicapped person was able to make such a great game. There are about five big rigs to race with, but there are absolutely no differences between them, which makes your choices easier to make. There are five-that's right, five-courses to race on! Add that to the fact that you can go from 0 to 60 in less than a second at the beginning of the race makes this a must-buy. Believe me, it'll be worth every cent of your five dollars. Buy this game and you are winner indeed.

[Sim Kid]

FAGtics Ogre: The BITE of BOGUS




I simply HATE every single bit of this game!! It's nothing but a Final Fantasy Tactics Advance Ripoff even though this was around first!!! The graphics are nothing BUT a ripoff of Final Fantasy Tactics Advance!! FAGtics ogre: The BITE of BOGUS uses darker colours which automatically makes it a ripoff of Final Fantasy Tactics advance!! Alphonse looks nothing at all like Marche but he's nothing but a goody-two-shoes JUST like Marche and Ramza Beolve are!! He looks nothing at all like Marche but is still a ripoff of him because of his goody-two-shoes attitude!! And his love interest, Eleanor...I smell a Ripoff of Ritz!!! Sure, she looks nothing at all like Ritz but I say so because she's a main character and so is Ritz!!! And Rictor looks more like Zalbag from Final Fantasy Tactics but I say he's more like MEWT!!! Every other special character from Ivanna to Elrik are nothing but Riopoffs of Final Fantasy Tactics Advance characters except for Lobelia who's a ripoff of St. Ajora/Altima because she's an angel but Not Sai because he's a Demon and Demons are cool. But it's spelled "Daemon!!" Good god, can't you even spell "Demon" right you Uncultured losers at Atlus!! And my biggest gripe is that the storyline is 10x better than that of Final Fantasy Tactics Advance but it doesn't even move as fast!! Therefore, the story sucks!

Oh, and another thing I forgot to mention is that there are NO RACES!! DO YOU HEAR ME? ALMOST EVERY SINGLE PERSON EXCEPT FOR THE MONSTERS AND THE DEMI HUMANS ARE HUMAN!! THERE ARE NO BANGAA, VIERA, NU MOU, OR MOOGLES IN SIGHT JUST RETARTED HAWKMEN, FAERIES, AND MERMAIDS!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Plus, you can't see the enemies walking to the territories!! ANOTHER BOOO!!!

In the end, do NOT GET FAGtics Ogre: The BITE of BOGUS because it's the Video game equivilant of Dragon Ball GT!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!