No. I do not like to be touched. That's final. "No" means "no".

Discussion should include supportive responses.

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No. I do not like to be touched. That's final. "No" means "no".

#1

Post by Sim Kid » Sat Oct 29, 2016 7:45 pm

I hate to be touched. It's not just strangers or people I am barely familiar with - I don't even like when my own family touches me. I am close to thirty, and they are still shocked when I inform them that before they touch me, they must ask themselves these questions:

1) Are you in danger?
2) Am I in danger?
3) Will You, I, or someone else be harmed if my personal space is not invaded?

If the answer to one of those questions is "no", then you should not go through with the physical contact. I do not like it. Note a hint that I am giving to you - I do not initiate physical contact. I keep a healthy distance. This is a hint, people. A social cue. If someone does not do something to you, then you should probably not do it to them.

I have done pretty much everything to tell people who think I am an interactive museum exhibit that "no" means "no"... short of The Elbow, which I really do not want to resort to unless the person doing it really deserves it.

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#2

Post by Random User » Sat Oct 29, 2016 7:54 pm

Other than my girlfriend or a few other close friends, I hate being touched in any way that isn't a hug. Hugging in itself is only for people I am close to.

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#3

Post by DarkZero » Sat Oct 29, 2016 8:10 pm

I don't like being touched either, even by people I'm close to. I might oblige if asked, but if you absolutely must, at least give a little warning.
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#4

Post by United Nations » Sat Oct 29, 2016 8:56 pm

I'm a touchy-feely kind of person. I love hugs and high fives and all that. I will say though that I'm weird about public displays of affection. I'm not someone who needs to constantly have an arm around me or a hand on my knee or a hand in my hand. But then sometimes in the mood for that stuff. I don't know. Maybe I'm just weird. :p

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#5

Post by Sim Kid » Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:27 am

Why would you say you are weird?

Some people like contact but others don't. That's the thing.

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#6

Post by RinkuTheFirst » Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:33 am

I'm similar. It's part of why I'm so opposed to forcing children to hug and/or kiss relatives.

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#7

Post by Apollo the Just » Sun Oct 30, 2016 2:53 am

I used to be a huge touchy-huggy person, but recently I've become significantly less so. Now I don't mind hugs from people I'm really close to, specifically people I'm really close to who enjoy hugs, but otherwise I'm perfectly happy waving or acknowledging people from a distance. Hugs with people I don't know that well just feel forced and awkward. So it's less that I personally *actively dislike* physical contact, and more that I don't particularly get anything out of it except in certain circumstances. Overall I'm ok with it, but definitely seek it out less than I used to.
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#8

Post by I REALLY HATE POKEMON! » Sun Oct 30, 2016 4:09 am

I can't even stand the sight of human beings anymore.

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#9

Post by Apiary Tazy » Sun Oct 30, 2016 6:56 am

I can't be within fifty feet of a human.

Not because I hate humanity but because of a restraining order from the human race. Not an easy thing to accomplish, that's for sure.

---

In all seriousness I really don't care that much about being touched. It tends to happen in crowds or when you walk past people. I don't let it bother me.

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#10

Post by United Nations » Sun Oct 30, 2016 8:39 am

[QUOTE="Sim Kid, post: 1612475, member: 22276"]Why would you say you are weird?

Some people like contact but others don't. That's the thing.[/QUOTE]
I think I just mean I'm weird because I like it and I don't. It's almost like I have to be in the mood for it when it comes to PDA with a partner, whereas I'm fine with anyone else hugging me or putting their arm around me.

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#11

Post by Antisocial » Sun Oct 30, 2016 10:34 am

Haphephobia is just one of those things people can't wrap their head around for some reason. Unfortunately, it seems to be one of those many things other people would demand justification for before they label you as some sort of freak.

It's like they don't realize you can be close to someone without actually ever having to touch them.

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#12

Post by ScottyMcGee » Sun Oct 30, 2016 7:41 pm

I hate it when old people walk by you in a crowd and they pat/hold you on the back and say something like "Hey there sonny" like get the **** off of me I'm not your grandson.
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#13

Post by Marilink » Sun Oct 30, 2016 9:55 pm

I'm a very touchy-feely person and I know that I have made people that hate being touched feel super uncomfortable by patting them on the shoulder/putting my arm around them/poking them etc. and I'd like to publicly apologize to all of my don't-like-being-touched brethren
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#14

Post by Sim Kid » Mon Oct 31, 2016 1:29 am

One reason why I suggest you be careful about unwanted physical contact is the law.

In this country at least, unwanted physical contact is actually defined as "Battery".

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#15

Post by Marilink » Mon Oct 31, 2016 6:03 am

I'm not quite dumb enough to touch people that I don't know well enough to know whether they'll sue me for it.

I'm talking about my friends that sometimes I forget when they don't like being touched, so the response is more of a "Dude, pls" rather than "I'll see you in court."

It's not like I'm hugging random passers-by here
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#16

Post by Booyakasha » Mon Oct 31, 2016 2:20 pm

I'm not overly fond of being touched. Had someone sort of slap me on the shoulder at work yesterday after I helped him find something. Like, a jolly send-off, right. Only I'd have been more pleased not to have him touch me. There's ways to be chummy without invading someone's space, putting your grubby mitts on him. Like what's to say that guy didn't come into the store straightaway after bathing his hands in a mixture of ebola, AIDS and the Black Death for a couple hours. Why would I want Typhoid Mary making physical contact with an article of clothing I couldn't immediately tear off and burn, right.

I can tolerate physical contact with family and friends. Girl cousins will buss me on both cheeks. Boy cousins and uncles do the 'handshake plus violent backslapping hug' thing. The kids climb up into my lap and command me to change over to 'Teen Titans Go', because kids have crap taste in entertainment. Emmy falls asleep on my shoulder and drools formula all over my shirt. Maxy slips his hand into mine at the museum when we're going past the 'T-Rex eating a triceratops' diorama, and I slip my hand into his at the terrifying witch-doctor masks display (them things are a nightmare in Technicolour, man).

Strangers, though, right. Like, I went to 'Man of La Mancha' a week ago Saturday, and I had to sort of pull myself away from the left side of my seat, because the person next to me was a giant pudding of a man who overflowed his own seat. I should have gotten a quarter of my ticket price refunded because I had Jabba the Hutt next to me takin up more than his share of the playhouse at my expense. Ugh.
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#17

Post by Calamity Panfan » Mon Oct 31, 2016 6:57 pm

I'm a touchy person with people I'm friends with but if I don't know somebody well and they break personal space barriers then I get super uncomfortable and squirmy. Like if I'm at a bar or restaurant and a bartender or server touches my shoulder or something, noooooope.
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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#18

Post by CaptHayfever » Tue Nov 01, 2016 8:51 am

I get it if you're a grandparent with a very small grandchild or something, but for most people, I truly don't understand what's so hard about "please don't touch me". I'm a huggy person, but my best friend is not, so we don't hug unless she initiates it, which is almost never. This is not difficult at all for me.

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#19

Post by Deepfake » Sat Nov 05, 2016 4:22 am

Shoulder touches are way more personal than people want to think they are. I like being close to friends, but I don't really go where I'm not welcome.
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#20

Post by Booyakasha » Sat Nov 05, 2016 4:57 am

We're social creatures, but we're individuals, as well. People are bound to be more reckless or timorous as far as touch goes, as far as personal space goes, just as a native part of that individuality. I couldn't hold it against somebody who opts to tap me on the shoulder instead of waving or saying 'hello', nevermind that I enjoy it less.
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