EFF 2015 I need to vent.

Sim Kid · #1

In the span of this two months I broke my ankle and it's still hurting. Then my great uncle dies. (Grandma died last year, too.) Then all of a sudden I have to tell someone from high school who got severe depression from a tour in Iraq not to do it. Guess what hapepend today. HE texted me to say he was going to end it. So I rush to his house as fast as I can, falling down in the process and find his sister banging at the door sinceh et old multiple people. Then someone sle arrives and we call 911 so I try to break the window with a crutch and then throw a brick into it in hopes of saving him. Then it turns out he hung himself in the backyard before either of us made it.

FML I said I wouldn't have any mental breakdowns and GOD DAMN IT I **** FAILED!!! AAAAAAAAAH!!!

#2

I'm so very sorry that you had to experience something that traumatic. It will take time for you to recover from the shock and hurt and grief of losing your friend in those circumstances. It's not your fault. You cared and gave him support, you tried to help, but you are human and there is only so much you can do. It's not your fault. He made his own decision, a tragic one, and I'm sorry you have to carry the weight of that last communication.

It's okay to feel angry, or betrayed. It's okay to cry. It's okay to have a breakdown while you come to terms with what has happened. Surround yourself with people who care about you. Find someone to talk to where you can safely express your feelings - even if it's just us at VGF, we are always here to listen. You will get through this. It might not feel like it now, but just take everything one step at a time. Slowly, be gentle with yourself. We love you.

Deepfake · #3

I'm really sorry life has been so crap, bud. Sometimes it all comes at once, and it feels hopeless. I hope you're doing all right, you deserve better.

United Nations · #4

Oh wow, I'm so sorry this all happened to you. It probably feels like it's stacking up against you. It's okay to feel shocked and hurt. I hope you find peace somehow through all of this.

smol Kat · #5

I'm so sorry! We're all here for you.

#6

*giant hugs* :sympathy: I am so sorry for the losses of your family and friend. Please be kind to yourself... give yourself time to grieve and accept the myriad of things you feel. Try to speak to someone... or lots of someones... and know we are always here if you need.

Sim Kid · #7

IT really is stacking up against me. :( Today at work, the guy's brother came through the line and I lost it. He wasn't told what happened so I had to tell him and explain that I was there and saw him hanging.

Sim Kid · #8

Hey guys, I wanna say thanks. I'm sorry for double posting but I feel somewhat better now.

#9

Just remember that it's okay to feel the whole range of emotions and you need to forgive yourself for any perceived weakness. There's no "right way" to grieve. *hugs*

Sim Kid · #10

I'm trying to avoid any amount of liquor beyond one glass of a rum-based beverage, or a Mojito Spritzer because they're watered down. :( Is this alright? I'm still trying to not go crazy and cry in public.

#11

It's a good idea to avoid alcohol, as it's a depressant. It might make things seem easier to deal with in the beginning, but it will keep your mood down for longer and even small amounts can impair your judgement. Try and let yourself cry in a safe place. Scientists tested the actual composition of tears and have confirmed that it's your body's way of flushing out the stress chemicals, so crying is beneficial to easing some of your emotions. Your system has gone through a huge shock, and you will still be trying to process everything - this could last for some time and there's nothing wrong with feeling "off" for a while. But if you start to feel like you're too shaken, it's important for you to talk to someone. You can call a mental health line in your area, or if your situation allows it, seeing a counsellor to just help you sort out your thoughts and feelings can be a really good thing. Take whatever time you need to come to terms with what has happened. This is just as real as any physical wound. You need to heal.

smol Kat · #12

Crying also relieves excess pressure in your tear ducts.

ScottyMcGee · #13

Oh Jesus. I'm sorry man. Sometimes all you need is sleep. Just a good long sleep. Don't stay up too late. Just sleep as much as you can and rest your thoughts.

Sim Kid · #14

Crying actually gets rid of stress hormones? Well then it looks like I have to tell dad off about things I did as a kid.

I REALLY HATE POKEMON! · #15

I never broke a bone but I'm sure that sucks badly. I hope you heal up well and fast. Sorry about your uncle, too. Death in the family is always tough, I can definitely relate with what you're going through there...good luck with that one. My only advice is don't find a crutch for the pain, it might end up hurting you in the end.

As for your friend, that's really out there. I don't even know how to approach that but just know there's nothing you could have done.

Sim Kid · #16

The funeral was today. I feel somewhat better when people who served alongside him (and are still in the army even) told me and the two girls that night that we did the right thing and acted better than a lot of people they served alongside.

glux · #17

I don't really know what to say, so I'm just dropping by to give my condolences.

Sim Kid · #18

you guys are being very supportive. :)

ScottyMcGee · #19

[QUOTE="Sim Kid, post: 1520573, member: 22276"]Crying actually gets rid of stress hormones? Well then it looks like I have to tell dad off about things I did as a kid.[/QUOTE]

Indeed. It's similar to something I read about a theory as to why taboo words exist. They did a study where they actually hurt people (not seriously, just like a shock or bonk on the knee or something like that) and those who shouted curse words felt less pain (as seen in brain images) than those who didn't like to use curse words and held back, or just said "ow".

#20

[QUOTE="Sim Kid, post: 1520678, member: 22276"]The funeral was today. I feel somewhat better when people who served alongside him (and are still in the army even) told me and the two girls that night that we did the right thing and acted better than a lot of people they served alongside.[/QUOTE]

Believe it... you did what you could. And you acted. That makes you amazing!! It will still take you some time to get through the experience and sadness... so give yourself the necessary time. :sympathy: