Dante's Inferno Test

Valigarmander · #1

Dante's Inferno Test - Impurity, Sin, and Damnation

In honor of the upcoming game based on the old epic. I scored:

Purgatory (repenting believers): very low
Level 1 - Limbo (virtuous non-believers): very high
Level 2 (lustful): moderate
Level 3 (gluttonous): low
Level 4 (prodigal and avaricious): very low
Level 5 (wrathful and gloomy): high
Level 6 - The City of Dis (heretics): very high
Level 7 (violent): low
Level 8 - The Malebolge (fraudulent, malicious, panderers): moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (treacherous): low

I went to Limbo.

First Level of Hell - Limbo

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Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.

I don't believe in God, so I'm probably going to hell anyway. Post your results.

Greenmarioman · #2

Level 2 - Lust

You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.

lol, figures

X-3 · #3

[quote="X-3 has been sent to the Fifth Level of Hell]
The river Styx runs through this level of Hell"]

Level | Score
Purgatory | Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo | Low
Level 2 | Low
Level 3 | Moderate
Level 4 | High
Level 5 | Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis | Very High
Level 7 | Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge | Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus | Moderate

I indeed seem to be quite the *******. :flying:
edit: Though, at best the only thing I remember stealing in my life is some action figure, and I don't remember if that was an accident or not. So maybe these results overall end up being a bit overblown for meDENIAL?

Microphone_Kirby · #4

Purgatory - Repenting Believers:Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo: Low
Level 2 - Lustful: Low
Level 3 - Gluttonous: Moderate
Level 4 - Prodigal and Avaricious: Low
Level 5 - Wrathful and Gloomy: Extreme
Level 6 - Heretics: Extreme
Level 7 - Violent: High
Level 8 - Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers:Moderate
Level 9 - Treacherous: Low

Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis

You approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.

... Sounds like a nice place.

YouTube · #5

I took this a while ago & got Purgatory.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

Metal Mario · #6

Purgatory

You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.

Purgatory - Repenting Believers - High
Level 1 - Limbo - Moderate
Level 2 - Lustful - High
Level 3 - Gluttonous - Moderate
Level 4 - Prodigal and Avaricious - Low
Level 5 - Wrathful and Gloomy - Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis - Heretics - Very Low
Level 7 - Violent - Low
Level 8 - the Malebolge - Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus - Treacherous - Very Low

Ha! Screw all you sinners! I'm going to heaven!

t3hDarkness · #7

I'm willing to go to hell for the sake of my personal beliefs and I would endure torture happily knowing that man is more just than God.

[quote="GOD] Seventh Level of Hell

Guarded by the Minotaur"]

Purgatory - (Repenting Believers) - very low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) - moderate
Level 2 - Lustful - moderate
Level 3 - Gluttonous - very high
Level 4 - Prodigal and Avaricious - low
Level 5 - Wrathful and Gloomy - moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis - Heretics - very high
Level 7 - Violent - very high
Level 8 - the Malebolge - Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers - very low
Level 9 - Cocytus - Treacherous - high

So it rains cigarette ash in a wasteland and I will spend the rest of eternity hanging around Atheists, Excommunicated, Vicious Women, Smelly Geeks, and Gays.

I fail to see how this is any different from my present predicament. . .

#8

;)

You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.

Purgatory Repenting Believers Extreme
Level 1 - Limbo Virtuous Non-Believers High
Level 2 Lustful Low
Level 3 Gluttonous Very Low
Level 4 Prodigal and Avaricious Very Low
Level 5 Wrathful and Gloomy Very Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis Heretics Very Low
Level 7 Violent Low
Level 8- the Malebolge Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers Low
Level 9 - Cocytus Treacherous Very Low

;)

Metal Mario · #9

^Looks like you and I are going to spend eternity together.

t3hDarkness · #10

Maintain a strict 3 foot distance between yourselves or you'll be damned to the seventh level of hell too.

Metal Man · #11

I got level 6. Mostly, my belief in a more gnostic/open idea than the current Christianity ticks it off something fierce.

Even though, had the gnostics won the first crusades, it would be MM and Tazy who would be placed in the far deeper levels instead.

:p

YouTube · #12

^^^^Also killers & torturers. In fact, mostly killers & torturers. Unless your "personal beliefs" include gratuitous violence, methinks you need to reread that description.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

#13

You assume I'm not bluffing.

I really would rather not find what level of hell I'm going to.

And for that I'm going to level 9.

yay satan's mouth.

Metal Mario · #14

Suit yourself. More heaven for me.

Apollo the Just · #15

Valigarmander · #16

YES

SCREW HEAVEN

Metal Mario · #17

^^Where you can't turn off the mini-game explanations, and the control stick breaks every time you rotate.

Apollo the Just · #18

Am I sounding like an atheist prick when I say that the description of Limbo sounded just as nice as Heaven? x{D

It's filled with interesting and virtuous people, and is free from torment.

Sounds fine to me. :{)

Metal Mario · #19

Well, on the one hand, Limbo is a sad, gray, and morose place; on the other hand, you're not being actively tortured.

If the layers of hell were represented by consoles, Limbo would be a Dreamcast.

Valigarmander · #20

The world is a sad, grey, and morose place.