The worst reviews. (2)

[supperdish]

^ Foney Bones cracked me up for some reason... >:/

Oh, and ^ was the 100 post in this topic.

SONIC ADVENTURE 2: BATTLE


TIS GAM SUCKS BECUS IT IS GAY AND IT IS ON A NNTENDO SO IT OUTOMATICLLY SUCKS THERE YOU SHOULDNT GT IT YU *******!!!1

[Sim Kid]

^They actually call him that in the game...

Prince of Persia The sands of time



This game would have been better had it been for only Xbox, but because it has a PS2 release, it automatically sucks. ANY game that's not on Xbox only sucks and everything I say is absolutley right!

[DrakMaerio]

REZIDENT EVIL

WHAT KIDN OG GAEM DO U KIL ZOMBIES WITH GUNS!????????????????? USE SWRODS!!!!!!! GUNS NEVER EXISTED THOSE FONEY BALGONEYS ROFLMAOLALLOLOLOL MY MEDICATIONS ARE GONE GRR IM MAD HULK SMASH!!!!!!!!!

[Godot]

^
Lol

Paper Mario


This game... GRR! It make Color A Dinosaur look fun! You are Mario who looks like he been rolled over by a steam truck and flat! You save the Paper Peach with a group of Retards which makes the Special Ed class look like a Honors classes. And the star powers make me want to laugh. For example:

I pray for The star with the glasses and thick eyebrows (I can't remember his name) To attack The 99HP master. 7 hit points. Whoo hoo. I hope you die up there from a Bomb-omb's blast.
I have to go now, for I fell and it says game over. I hope mine will fall and get exploded with a minesweeper.

[Sim Kid]

Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga



WTF?!? Nintendo introduces about a MILLION characters at once and expects us to remember them all! Luigi?! MARIO WAS AN ONLY CHILD!! Cackletta? WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH KAMEK?! And one other thing...Peach's voice has been replaced with EXPLOSIVES?!?! WTF kind of storyline is THAT?!

[Matthius]

The Sims


Now Seriously, WTF! "Let's make a game where you observe people. That's it. They go to work, they eat, they sleep. It's like your family, but they don't speak English and are more boring! Then, we can make slight alterations, like bigger houses and they can have pets. Ooooh Aaaah. Instead of letting people just download these as patches, people will pay 30 dollars for each new add-on."

Come on people, the most exciting thing i did in this game was kill someone, and i could have done that within ten seconds on any shooter game. Maybe this game is for boring nerds who like to sit at home in their mothers basement and nothave a social life. They just want to look at themsleves in the computer. What new idiotic thing could EA come out with for this game? a "Magic" add-on. *someone whispers in Matthiu5's ear, telling him of this already happening* Well, good freaking god America, Go ahead and throw away your money on this stupid game. You know, you could be spending it on something better. A classic perhaps, like Shaq-fu or something...

[ November 26, 2003, 02:25 AM: Message edited by: Matthiu5 ]

[Sim Kid]

^Lol...

Final Fantasy 7

+10x10 to the 10th power smilies

This game rules because it is squaresoft. Anyone who says so otherwise is a stupid idiot Zelda-hippie/fanboy who would rather worship their stupid Zelda games (There is NO blood in them whatsoever-This game doesn't have blood but it is still great because it is squaresoft). Anyone who says this game is the most overrated game of all time is a stupid HIPPIE!! HEY YOU HIPPIES!! GO BACK TO WORSHIPPING YOUR STUPID ZELDA AND OTHER STUPID KIDDY-NINTENDO-GAMES-LIKE-ETERNAL-DARKNESS-WHICH-HAVE-NO-BLOOD-WHATSOEVER!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

[Codiekitty]

Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg


This game makes Cho Aniki look straight. That is all.


Where are these lemmings going? The Super Nintendo Super Shire! Hop in line and follow them there!

[supperdish]

^LOLOLOLOLOL

[Godot]

SSM:B



It's sucks because it isn't on PS2. Don't buy it.
---
Seriously, buy it.

[Codiekitty]

^
^ I take it you know what Cho Aniki is?

Before people get the wrong idea, I enjoyed Billy Hatcher, I was just making fun of how childish it was.


Where are these lemmings going? The Super Nintendo Super Shire! Hop in line and follow them there!

[Sim Kid]

Freedom Force



I paid 10 dollars for a box that said "best of E3" on it hoping for a RTS-And instead I get THIS?! It's a bunch of Men in Tights running around looking for fights!! Dear lord-I paid 10 dollars for a superhero game. All superhero games SUCK except for Spiderman.

(If you don't know, which you probably don't, Freedom Force is also the name of a really Great NES shooter which I recently got. I got to review that game sometime, and the PC version of Freedom Force is very great. BUY IT!)

[supperdish]

^^Yeah, I know who.

Billy Hatcher IS fun. O_O

[Codiekitty]

I still think I'm coming across with the wrong message on Billy Hatcher. I admit it's chidlish, but I don't think it's "gay". I'm just mocking some Xbox fanboy who would call a game where you can input a code to turn the sun into a giant smilie "gay" (If you don't know what Cho Aniki is... let's keep it that way)

For my next crap review... hm...

Animal Crossing



This doesn't even fall into the category of "crappy kiddy games". Why? This isn't even a video game! I've been playing this game for three weeks, and I'm STILL waiting for something to come and attack me! People who call this a video game should be dragged out into the street and shot with an Animal Crossing disc.


Where are these lemmings going? The Super Nintendo Super Shire! Hop in line and follow them there!

[Sim Kid]

Tactics Ogre: Let us cling together



Okay, the first thing I have to say about this Final Fantasy Tactics Wannabe (It rips off of Final Fantasy Tactics even though it came first, you have to agree with me if you have an I.Q of 20.) is that it's impossible to keep track of all 10 of your characters-You'll lose half of them in a big battle. And one other thing...LET US CLING TOGETHER?!? WHAT THE F*** KIND OF NAME IS THAT?! Why not just call it "Let us give and recieve Big hugs!" Oh and one other thing...The Archers aren't cute, and they are literally one-unit-war-wagons if leveled up properly. ARCHERS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE STRONG ENOUGH TO TAKE UNITS OUT IN ONE HIT!! THAT'S NOT THE WAY IT IS IN FINAL FANTASY TACTICS UNLESS YOU USE CHARGE+20 AND HAVE A VERY STRONG BOW!! There are no thieves, no Zodiac Braves, and the Dragoons can't even Jump! YOU CAN'T HAVE DRAGOONS WHO CAN'T JUMP!! THIS IS WHY THE "Dragoons" IN LEGEND OF DRAGOON DON'T EVEN QUALIFY FOR DRAGOON CATEGORY!! ONLY SQUARE AND NINTENDO CAN MAKE RPGS!! EVERYTHING ELSE IS STOLEN PROPERTY AND IT IS ALL 100% RIGHT NO MATTER WHAT THE STATISTICS SAY!!! HOW CAN IDIOTS LIKE THIS GAME?! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

[Red mage]

Lol, this topic really made me laugh. Especially at Majic Falcon's rant.

Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker

+Another 9999999999 mad smilies

*Insert one of Mikey's rants here*

[Sim Kid]

Wha? This topic is ancient-Oh well. Almost forgot about this.

Phantasy Star IV



The Genesis was always a haven for more serious and action-oriented games, in contrast to the Super Nintendo, which was the platform of choice for colorful, role-playing games. This is a shame because both could have benefited from a variety of each in their day, but I guess that was half the fun of the 16-bit era -- which side were you on, or were you on both? Of course there were the occasional surprises on each console, one of which was the Phantasy Star role-playing series on the Sega Genesis. This series has always had mature themes and as such has shunned the idea of a game with miniature runts running around, decimating rabbits on the backs of giant, yellow chickens.

But even with its mature ambitions, the actual game mechanics have always been flawed and, ironically, have failed to \'mature\' at all throughout the course of the series existence. Take Phantasy Star II, an average game, still wedged in the era of empty, black battlefields and far too much emphasis on leveling up. Now, fast-forward to Phantasy Star IV and what has changed? Very little, actually. The battles now take place against a single, drab wall, shaded horribly and obviously the product of laziness. The required leveling up has been toned down significantly(at least for regular monsters), but the bosses are still insanely overpowered.

Don\'t get me wrong; I love a good challenge and actually enjoyed Phantasy Star II\'s high challenge level, but that was partly because I understood that it was still an early effort. With a game like #4, so late into the 16-bit era, I was expecting much, much more than what was essentially a rehash with the same once shocking(now predictable) plot elements and twists, the same non-sensically named techniques(why can\'t they rename these things so they will actually be discernable without a guide or hours upon hours of trial and error?) and yet more boring dungeons and scores of palette-swapped creatures.

It was excusable in the second(and actually fun because your characters started out at low levels, and you were able to see them through from the ground up to their higher levels-- one of the main draws in older RPGs for me, though not a possibility in PS4), but we should really be seeing something new here. Once again we\'re put into the shoes of a teenage fellow, his name is Chaz, with, yep, you guessed it -- a female friend. They\'re monster hunters(sound familiar?) and have been given the task of a exploring a nearby dungeon for signs of evil, or something.

This is almost an exact replica of Phantasy Star II\'s plot -- for crying out loud!

The battle system has remained much the same as well, but this is far from a flaw; it was always sturdy to begin with. Attack, item, technique, skill, or run -- the choice is yours. No longer will you have to cycle through sub-menus just to program a special attack for one battle and then cycle back through them to reprogram it for the next round. Things have been made much easier, and all of the changes are for the best; the only real complaint I have is, as I mentioned before, the fact that Sega has yet to change the names of techniques to names regular people can relate to. This becomes very frustrating and alienates the beginner to the Phantasy Star universe, especially in this installment, because the characters begin the adventure at high levels with high amounts of foreign techniques. What a task!

But even then, I\'ve just been going over negligible pratfalls in the game\'s design. So what if it\'s a lot like PS2? That was a decent RPG; why can\'t PS4 be one as well? Sadly, it promises to be a great RPG, right up until the last half of the game, when it just falls apart. Early on you\'ll be treated to numerous unique and fascinating locales -- the village of kobolds, a sandworm ranch, a spaceport -- and plenty of character to character dialogue and heartfelt emotion, but later you end up returning to planet Dezo(familiar, eh?) for some town wandering and dungeon crawling. Not a bad thing, though, is it? Of course not. The snowy wasteland is a great setting for the second half of the game, as was proven in Phantasy Star II. No, it doesn\'t get bad until you hit just mid-way through this area, right around when you enter the Sky Castle.

Things become tedious here, characters cease to speak amongst each other and the ending is shamelessly lengthened via a cliche excuse. Sega really blew it towards the end, and the degradation of quality is so thinly veiled that only the most oblivious of people will fail to notice such a drastic downgrade. I guess this is what really destroyed a once promising game for me; I dealt with the boring battle system; I dealt with the disappointing dungeon and combat visuals; I dealt with the overused music. But I can not deal with this. Final Fantasy III had the World of Ruin at the end to lengthen the game -- great; it had a fantastic story leading up to it and actually zoomed in on the antagonists more than once to keep you up to date.

Secrets were littered throughout it, and there was a lot more to do rather than drag your hooves through the final stretch, level up massively to even hope to compete with the final bosses and then pack the game up -- I can\'t say the same for PS4. Perhaps I\'m beating a dead horse here, but I feel the need to emphasize that this story is incredibly disappointing in comparison to nearly all of the major SNES RPGs. It shows spunk in some areas, but is far from consistent, and this is what has disappointed me the most. This is the greatest flaw. This is an Account of Anticlimax.

(I carbon copied this game from that half-ass review on Gamefaqs-Phantasy Star IV is a good game and this guy stated complete bull **** for hating it)

[Godot]

Tak and the Power of Juju.


THAT'S JUJU FOR....RETARDED! It a dumb game about a pot belly native who saves the world using a leaf. It's a copy off crap even though it came first! It's dumb to the power of 99!

[Sim Kid]

Wild ARMS 3



Okay, so what the hell is this? They believe us to think this is an RPG-No no no no-RPGs take place in MEDIEVAL SETTINGS, not WILD WEST OR MODERN SETTINGS-Which is why pokemon is so retarded (Besides being on a KIDDY NINTENDO SYSTEM) and why Earthbound and Megaman Battle Network suck (AND they are ALSO on a KIDtendo system so they automatically suck). That's one of the flaws-And the fact that this is nothing but a rip-off of a vastly superior anime called Trigun, which takes place in a wild western FUTURE!! In Japan, this game was most likely a Trigun game-And they intended to laugh at us by not releasing it out here, but they did but they changed it to the most retarded title ever like "Wild ARMS 3" WHAT THE HELL KIND OF NAME IS THAT?! Should be called "Wild BARNS 3!" because it's so retarded. And how do I know that this was originally a Trigun game? LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS!!!

Virgina Maxwell:
The "Hero" or "Wild ARMS 3". BOOO! Her name should be (Bad word) because she's so weak!! She's one of the girls Vash had his eyes on so he teams up with her and her other boyfriends!

Jet
Now THIS is a character. What is a cool character like him doing in a retarded game like this-APART from being a Riku rip-off but he's still cool because he reminds me of Square-Enix characters.

Gallows
He's a drunken bum of an Indian-He's supposed to be a priest, but what the hell is he doing with a GUN?! BOOOO!!!

Clive
In Japan, he was Vash the Stampede, but because they hate us, they change his look and personality and give him the most retarded name ever like "Clive" WHAT THE HELL KIND OF NAME IS THAT?! He is at least skilled with that neat rifle of his.

I only played about 8 or 9 minutes of this game, and I died because of the cheap-as-hell characters in Virginia's section of the Prologue, but one look at "Clive" and I KNEW this was really Trigun!! This is NOT a Trigun game! This is nothing but a retarded fanfic gone horribly wrong and Japan's probably laughing at people like Douglas who like this game even though it's really Trigun!! BOOOO!!!!!

(If you don't know-This is all fake. I really like the game and I decided to think up a retarded rant about how much Clive looks like Vash the Stampede only different to post here)

[Codiekitty]

Final Fantasy (NES)

(+1)

.....

.....

...Uh, you want me to explain why? Um... can't.


Where are these lemmings going? The Super Nintendo Super Shire! Hop in line and follow them there!