I'm calling you out, Vapor. Here are the rules:
Posts must be at least 2-3 paragraphs long
Minor healing is OK
No interference, this is a one-on-one battle
I'll be using my new character, Goofball McChuckles, and the Battlefield will be Folner's Fortress. You post your intro first.
Vapor, Prepare to Die!
-
Vapor
- Member
- Posts: 5156
- Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:00 am
- Location: WHERE IT'S AT
- Contact:
D :
The fortress sat deserted and bare. made of ancient stone, it contained nothing within but a throne and raggedy curtains in the central room, letting in very little light and even less hope. A strange snake-like being was wandering about said room with a sense of thoughtful purpose. Which he didn't actually have, but he felt like giving off one. He was a slightly anthropomorphic large snake, with incongruous orange draconic spines running the length of his back and culminating in a mohawk of spines atop his head. He slithered upright to a window where his thin wiry arms lifted the curtain to see naught but desolation outside. His pale blue, utterly human eyes turned away from the bleak world outside to the bleak world inside. It didn't feel bright enough, so he created a pillar of neon in the center of the throne room, and threw some glittering green dust from a small leather bag at it, causing it to glow many fantastic colors. Satisfied, the snake put on some Supercool Aviator Shades, took out an electric bass and started thumping out a mad bassline. Such oddities were Vapor's trademark.
His funk was interrupted by an ominous, yet utterly goofy chuckle from afar. His eyes narrowed and flitted about behind the shades and his bass grew quieter. Once again, the laugh -- a disturbing "Yuk-Yuk yoohooHOOO!!"-- came. Vapor removed his shades and let loose an absolutely mad burst of maniacal cackling, an even more disturbing "BwaaahahaahaHAAAAHAHAAAAAA!!!" stolen right from B-Movie Mad Scientists.
This provoked the chuckler to appear. A smartly dressed gentlemen, except for some goofy novelty glasses and large buck teeth, walked out of a dark corner. Vapor envied his top hat. He knew that somebody like this couldn't be good news, so he removed his shades and narrowed his eyes. It's Business Time.
The fortress sat deserted and bare. made of ancient stone, it contained nothing within but a throne and raggedy curtains in the central room, letting in very little light and even less hope. A strange snake-like being was wandering about said room with a sense of thoughtful purpose. Which he didn't actually have, but he felt like giving off one. He was a slightly anthropomorphic large snake, with incongruous orange draconic spines running the length of his back and culminating in a mohawk of spines atop his head. He slithered upright to a window where his thin wiry arms lifted the curtain to see naught but desolation outside. His pale blue, utterly human eyes turned away from the bleak world outside to the bleak world inside. It didn't feel bright enough, so he created a pillar of neon in the center of the throne room, and threw some glittering green dust from a small leather bag at it, causing it to glow many fantastic colors. Satisfied, the snake put on some Supercool Aviator Shades, took out an electric bass and started thumping out a mad bassline. Such oddities were Vapor's trademark.
His funk was interrupted by an ominous, yet utterly goofy chuckle from afar. His eyes narrowed and flitted about behind the shades and his bass grew quieter. Once again, the laugh -- a disturbing "Yuk-Yuk yoohooHOOO!!"-- came. Vapor removed his shades and let loose an absolutely mad burst of maniacal cackling, an even more disturbing "BwaaahahaahaHAAAAHAHAAAAAA!!!" stolen right from B-Movie Mad Scientists.
This provoked the chuckler to appear. A smartly dressed gentlemen, except for some goofy novelty glasses and large buck teeth, walked out of a dark corner. Vapor envied his top hat. He knew that somebody like this couldn't be good news, so he removed his shades and narrowed his eyes. It's Business Time.
-
VG_Addict
- Member
- Posts: 10023
- Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 6:24 pm
- Location: In the Vicinity
- Been thanked: 225 times
Goofball had to admit, this man's crazy laugh was pretty impressive. But he soon forgot about that. He knew that he would have to use all of his tricks to defeat this guy.
"Hey buddy, wanna see a magic trick?" The insane man asked the snake-man. "Sure, what is it?" Vapor asked as he moved forward. Goofball preceded to take off his hat, hold it upside down with his right hand, and wave his left hand, as though he were waving his magic wand. "Nothing up my sleeve..." Goofball began, when suddenly, he put the hat onto Vapor's head and pulled it down around his body, until only his legs were visible, in typical cartoon style. "Neat trick, huh?" Goofball quipped, and proceeded to burst out laughing as the snake man tried desperately to get out of the hat.
"Hey buddy, wanna see a magic trick?" The insane man asked the snake-man. "Sure, what is it?" Vapor asked as he moved forward. Goofball preceded to take off his hat, hold it upside down with his right hand, and wave his left hand, as though he were waving his magic wand. "Nothing up my sleeve..." Goofball began, when suddenly, he put the hat onto Vapor's head and pulled it down around his body, until only his legs were visible, in typical cartoon style. "Neat trick, huh?" Goofball quipped, and proceeded to burst out laughing as the snake man tried desperately to get out of the hat.
-
Vapor
- Member
- Posts: 5156
- Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:00 am
- Location: WHERE IT'S AT
- Contact:
OoC: I do not have legs. just FYI.
Inside the hat was nothing but pitch darkness and black velvet. Vapor's claws did nothing to harm the strange cloth, and neither did his fangs. Realizing that this would take more than the average blade, he took out a bizarrely shaped serrated blade of purple crystal, and dipped it into his bag of Fairy Dust. it emerged with a faint green-blue aura. Vapor stabbed the crystal blade into the top hat's velvet walls, and the magically enhanced blade cut a great vertical slit in the velvet. Vapor lunged out at at maximum speed and threw the crystal directly at the dapper madman's face. It made contact, leaving a cut across his upper cheek, through the right arm of the glasses.
Goofball, enraged, pulled out a gigantic rubber mallet and attempted to pummel Vapor on the head with it, but the snake vanished before it could make contact, leaving only a dense fog that soon swirled off towards the other direction, as if it were sentient. Goofball turned around to see the fog materialize into the shape of Vapor, who then jumped at Sir McChuckles from his location in the air, fangs barred. Vapor was going to sink them deep into Goofball's flesh, but he was able to react in time and swatted Vapor into the wall with the hammer. Vapor was flat as a pancake temporarily whilst he recoiled from the comic blow, and cartoon stars were whirling about this head. After he bounced back to his original shape, he grabbed the stars out of the air and threw them as shurikens at Goofball, a few slashing his sides. Vapor was still dizzy though the stars were gone, and his body ached slightly. He steadied himself against the wall and girded himself for the next attack.
Inside the hat was nothing but pitch darkness and black velvet. Vapor's claws did nothing to harm the strange cloth, and neither did his fangs. Realizing that this would take more than the average blade, he took out a bizarrely shaped serrated blade of purple crystal, and dipped it into his bag of Fairy Dust. it emerged with a faint green-blue aura. Vapor stabbed the crystal blade into the top hat's velvet walls, and the magically enhanced blade cut a great vertical slit in the velvet. Vapor lunged out at at maximum speed and threw the crystal directly at the dapper madman's face. It made contact, leaving a cut across his upper cheek, through the right arm of the glasses.
Goofball, enraged, pulled out a gigantic rubber mallet and attempted to pummel Vapor on the head with it, but the snake vanished before it could make contact, leaving only a dense fog that soon swirled off towards the other direction, as if it were sentient. Goofball turned around to see the fog materialize into the shape of Vapor, who then jumped at Sir McChuckles from his location in the air, fangs barred. Vapor was going to sink them deep into Goofball's flesh, but he was able to react in time and swatted Vapor into the wall with the hammer. Vapor was flat as a pancake temporarily whilst he recoiled from the comic blow, and cartoon stars were whirling about this head. After he bounced back to his original shape, he grabbed the stars out of the air and threw them as shurikens at Goofball, a few slashing his sides. Vapor was still dizzy though the stars were gone, and his body ached slightly. He steadied himself against the wall and girded himself for the next attack.
-
VG_Addict
- Member
- Posts: 10023
- Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 6:24 pm
- Location: In the Vicinity
- Been thanked: 225 times
Goofball couldn't help but wince slightly at the shurikens in his body, though he still retained his maniacal grin. "So, you like crazy, do you? Let's see if you like this!" he quipped as he snapped his fingers. Vapor waited a few seconds, but nothing happened.
"Um, nothing happened." Vapor said, more than a little confused. Goofball merely smirked and folded his arms in amusement. "Oh, really? Look up." Vapor just shrugged as he looked up, and to his horror, a rather large anvil was floating directly above him. Suddenly, and without warning, the anvil landed right onto Vapor's face, making an audible CLANG as it came into contact with his skin. The snake man didn't even have time to grunt as he fell to the ground, unconcious.
"Ooooooohhhhhh, that's gotta hurt." Goofball quipped, before bursting into a chuckling fit.
"Um, nothing happened." Vapor said, more than a little confused. Goofball merely smirked and folded his arms in amusement. "Oh, really? Look up." Vapor just shrugged as he looked up, and to his horror, a rather large anvil was floating directly above him. Suddenly, and without warning, the anvil landed right onto Vapor's face, making an audible CLANG as it came into contact with his skin. The snake man didn't even have time to grunt as he fell to the ground, unconcious.
"Ooooooohhhhhh, that's gotta hurt." Goofball quipped, before bursting into a chuckling fit.
-
Vapor
- Member
- Posts: 5156
- Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:00 am
- Location: WHERE IT'S AT
- Contact:
Waking up, Vapor's head was spinning. Both literally and figuratively. After his skull realigned itself, he looked at Goofball and jabbed his finger.
Apparently, that was all he intended to do. He stood there like that glaring at Goofball for a minute or so. After realizing that nothing was happening, Goofball went towards Vapor to sledgehammer him again. However, a grand burst of crimson light from Vapor's forefingers, eyes and mouth knocked Goofball right into the wall on the other side of the room, bones aching but not breaking.
"Sorry. That was just all my minor annoyances and irritations manifest into one burst of physical energy. Good to get it out," Vapor said to Goofball from the other end of the room as he cracked his knuckles an alarming number of times. Still full of manic energy, the cartoon madman ran towards the serpentine madman with his giant hammer, but upon his final swing, Vapor grabbed the hammer by its handle... and it seemed to disappear.
"Ooooh! Where's the hammer? WHERE'S THE HAMMER???" Vapor said waving his hands round in ecstatic motions with his eyes wide and smiling mouth agape. His hands paused and he looked at Goofball for a few seconds with this expression. He then yelled, "In your FACE!!" as he grabbed the very same hammer from out of nowhere and slamme into Goofball's head.
While his opponent was hurt and surprised by this, Vapor took out his frisbee and threw it at Goofball, hitting him at at least 95 MPH as he removed the hammer from his face. He was once again knocked to the opposite end of the room.
Vapor opened up a cold one and took a swig satedly.
Apparently, that was all he intended to do. He stood there like that glaring at Goofball for a minute or so. After realizing that nothing was happening, Goofball went towards Vapor to sledgehammer him again. However, a grand burst of crimson light from Vapor's forefingers, eyes and mouth knocked Goofball right into the wall on the other side of the room, bones aching but not breaking.
"Sorry. That was just all my minor annoyances and irritations manifest into one burst of physical energy. Good to get it out," Vapor said to Goofball from the other end of the room as he cracked his knuckles an alarming number of times. Still full of manic energy, the cartoon madman ran towards the serpentine madman with his giant hammer, but upon his final swing, Vapor grabbed the hammer by its handle... and it seemed to disappear.
"Ooooh! Where's the hammer? WHERE'S THE HAMMER???" Vapor said waving his hands round in ecstatic motions with his eyes wide and smiling mouth agape. His hands paused and he looked at Goofball for a few seconds with this expression. He then yelled, "In your FACE!!" as he grabbed the very same hammer from out of nowhere and slamme into Goofball's head.
While his opponent was hurt and surprised by this, Vapor took out his frisbee and threw it at Goofball, hitting him at at least 95 MPH as he removed the hammer from his face. He was once again knocked to the opposite end of the room.
Vapor opened up a cold one and took a swig satedly.
-
VG_Addict
- Member
- Posts: 10023
- Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 6:24 pm
- Location: In the Vicinity
- Been thanked: 225 times
Goofball peeled himself off of the wall, dusted himself off, and nonchalantly walked over to Vapor. "Nice trick, do you do weddings and bar mitzvahs?" the cartoon psychopath quipped. He then spun around Looney Tunes-style for a few seconds, until he stopped, completely normal, except for the fact that he was now a gangster, complete with VERY baggy pants, a gaudy $5 plastic medallion around his neck, and a backwards baseball cap. The maniac then showed Vapor his fists, which now had large gold bars covering his knuckles, with one bar bearing the word "GOOF", and the other bearing the word, "BALL" in large letters.
"Yo, don't **** wit' me, or I'll pop a cap 'n yo ass!" Goofball said in a VERY stereotypical Ebonic accent as he took out a small handgun and pointed it directly at Vapor's head. He then pulled the trigger, and a small metal object came out and lightly bounced off of the snake-man's forehead. Goofball quickly grabbed the object and showed it to Vapor. "See? I'll pop this bottle cap in your ass." The maniac said. He then pulled the trigger again, but this time, a giant boxing glove came out and hit Vapor right in the face, sending him into the wall on the opposite side of the room. Goofball then spun around again, until he was back in his normal clothes.
"Yo, don't **** wit' me, or I'll pop a cap 'n yo ass!" Goofball said in a VERY stereotypical Ebonic accent as he took out a small handgun and pointed it directly at Vapor's head. He then pulled the trigger, and a small metal object came out and lightly bounced off of the snake-man's forehead. Goofball quickly grabbed the object and showed it to Vapor. "See? I'll pop this bottle cap in your ass." The maniac said. He then pulled the trigger again, but this time, a giant boxing glove came out and hit Vapor right in the face, sending him into the wall on the opposite side of the room. Goofball then spun around again, until he was back in his normal clothes.
-
Vapor
- Member
- Posts: 5156
- Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:00 am
- Location: WHERE IT'S AT
- Contact:
It seemed that Vapor was about to slam into the wall. However, just before the impact occured, Vapor turned to a misty mass, which slammed up against the wall and spread over the wall to no effect. reforming back into one coherent body, Vapor looked at the wall thoughtfully. He decided that we must be rid of these structures, and the air began to change. a greenish gas began to generate from nowhere, spreading across the walls, and then it seemed to change. It was fusing with the hydrogen in the air, becoming hydrochloric acid, and a fizzling was heard as the acid began to corrode the walls. Many parts of the fortress were beginning to collapse, the disintegrating walls unable to hold the weight of the ceiling. Goofball looked around, worried, making many cartoon double takes, unsure of what to do. Taking out a large archaic roman battle shield, Vapor took a bow towards Goofball as he rammed his way through the nearest weakened wall, flying away from the fortress as it collapsed, Goofball inside.
Looking around, Vapor saw in the light that there was naught but a vast wasteland stretching out around him on all sides. YES, no walls.
Looking around, Vapor saw in the light that there was naught but a vast wasteland stretching out around him on all sides. YES, no walls.
-
VG_Addict
- Member
- Posts: 10023
- Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 6:24 pm
- Location: In the Vicinity
- Been thanked: 225 times
It seemed that Vapor had won, that Goofball was dead.
However, everything is not what is seems.
Vapor was enjoying the overall bleakness of his surroundings, when suddenly, he heard an all-too familiar, haunting, maniacal chuckle, which sounded a little like "Hoohoohahahaha!", come out of seemingly nowhere and echo throughout the land. Not too soon after, he heard the sound of stones being moved, and he turned to look at the rubble, which, to his horror, now had a gloved hand rising out of it. He watched as he saw Goofball slowly rise out of the rubble, dust himself off, and grin at him.
"But, how are you-" the snake-man began, before being abruptly interrupted. "Did you honestly think something like THAT would kill me? I'm a cartoon character, for God's sake! All that really did was get dirt on my tuxedo. Nothin' a little dry cleaning won't fix." the cartoon madman explained. "Now, whaddya say we continue our little battle?"
However, everything is not what is seems.
Vapor was enjoying the overall bleakness of his surroundings, when suddenly, he heard an all-too familiar, haunting, maniacal chuckle, which sounded a little like "Hoohoohahahaha!", come out of seemingly nowhere and echo throughout the land. Not too soon after, he heard the sound of stones being moved, and he turned to look at the rubble, which, to his horror, now had a gloved hand rising out of it. He watched as he saw Goofball slowly rise out of the rubble, dust himself off, and grin at him.
"But, how are you-" the snake-man began, before being abruptly interrupted. "Did you honestly think something like THAT would kill me? I'm a cartoon character, for God's sake! All that really did was get dirt on my tuxedo. Nothin' a little dry cleaning won't fix." the cartoon madman explained. "Now, whaddya say we continue our little battle?"
-
Vapor
- Member
- Posts: 5156
- Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:00 am
- Location: WHERE IT'S AT
- Contact:
"Oh, you want DRY CLEANING?????" Vapor yelled. "Oh, you WILL. BE. DRYCLEANED." As he said this, he threw a dry cleaner at Goofball, having it land right on him and encasing him within. Vapor flew over and turned it on, and hilarity ensued. Meaning, Goofball's flailing form could be seen through the washer window as he bounced around inside, creating giant swells on the sides as he did. Whilst this happened, Vapor readied some sort of spell.
In his palm, in front of his face, a blue and red swirling orb floated. Glowing gases of a mixture of bright blue and red began to flow out of his eyes into the orb, and similar energies flowed out of his palm as he gazed into the luminescent orb. It was a wondrous thing; glowing with vibrant shades of turquoise and crimson, next to each other but not mixing, flowing in a spiral as the sphere of energy seethed.
Suddenly, Goofball burst free from the machine, his head and limbs twisting and spinning around. Before he had a chance to remedy this, Vapor clenched the orb in his fist, and threw it into Goofball's chest. It exploded, sending out waves of energy in all directions, Vapor apparently being unaffected, but Goofball being quite affected. He was sent flying away, his tuxedo ripped open in the font and his glasses knocked off. He was actually hurt. Whoa.
Readying himself for Goofball to recover, Vapor took out some of his crystals, ready to throw when needed.
In his palm, in front of his face, a blue and red swirling orb floated. Glowing gases of a mixture of bright blue and red began to flow out of his eyes into the orb, and similar energies flowed out of his palm as he gazed into the luminescent orb. It was a wondrous thing; glowing with vibrant shades of turquoise and crimson, next to each other but not mixing, flowing in a spiral as the sphere of energy seethed.
Suddenly, Goofball burst free from the machine, his head and limbs twisting and spinning around. Before he had a chance to remedy this, Vapor clenched the orb in his fist, and threw it into Goofball's chest. It exploded, sending out waves of energy in all directions, Vapor apparently being unaffected, but Goofball being quite affected. He was sent flying away, his tuxedo ripped open in the font and his glasses knocked off. He was actually hurt. Whoa.
Readying himself for Goofball to recover, Vapor took out some of his crystals, ready to throw when needed.
-
VG_Addict
- Member
- Posts: 10023
- Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 6:24 pm
- Location: In the Vicinity
- Been thanked: 225 times
Goofball slowly rose from the ground and spat out blood. That last attack actually managed to hurt him. He also noticed that his glasses were missing, and his tuxedo was ripped open. Nevertheless, he walked over to Vapor and spoke:
"Alright, snake-boy. You want a battle? I'll give you a war!" the cartoon madman put emphasis on the last word as he snapped his fingers. Almost as soon as he snapped his fingers, the area around them began to change, and Vapor found himself inside a library. The snake-man looked all around him, but Goofball was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, he heard a loud "SSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" behind him.
Vapor turned around to see Goofball, or rather, a librarian resembling Goofball, behind the front desk, which had a small name plate with "Ms. McChuckles" carved in big letters. The insane gentleman was wearing women's glasses attached to a small chain, a burgundy business suit, and black high heels. "This is a library, young man. That means, you have to be quiet. in other words......" Ms. McChuckles leaned forward so "she" was inches away from Vapor's face. "SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!" the librarian screamed directly in the snake-man's face, producing winds rivaling that of a Category 5 hurricane. Vapor was sent flying back into a nearby bookcase, and as he landed, was completely buried in an avalanche of books.
Ms. McChuckles then walked up to Vapor, carrying a small tray of chocolate chip cookies. "Would you like a cookie, dear?" "she" asked the snake-man in an almost sickeningly sweet voice that would make everyone within earshot become diabetic. "Sure!" Vapor said as he poked his head out of the pile and reached for a cookie.
Just as the snake-man's hand was inches away from the delicious treat, he was abruptly cut off by a fist slamming into his face, which sent him flying back yet again. "NO FOOD OR DRINK IN THE LIBRARY!!!!!!" Ms. McChuckles thundered, as Vapor landed on the library floor with a soft grunt. Ms. McChuckles then snapped "her" fingers, and "she" and Vapor were back in the middle of the field were the battle originally took place. Ms. McChuckles then tore off "her" clothes, and changed back into Goofball. The cartoon madman then walked over to Vapor and let out a satisfied chuckle.
"Alright, snake-boy. You want a battle? I'll give you a war!" the cartoon madman put emphasis on the last word as he snapped his fingers. Almost as soon as he snapped his fingers, the area around them began to change, and Vapor found himself inside a library. The snake-man looked all around him, but Goofball was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, he heard a loud "SSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" behind him.
Vapor turned around to see Goofball, or rather, a librarian resembling Goofball, behind the front desk, which had a small name plate with "Ms. McChuckles" carved in big letters. The insane gentleman was wearing women's glasses attached to a small chain, a burgundy business suit, and black high heels. "This is a library, young man. That means, you have to be quiet. in other words......" Ms. McChuckles leaned forward so "she" was inches away from Vapor's face. "SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!" the librarian screamed directly in the snake-man's face, producing winds rivaling that of a Category 5 hurricane. Vapor was sent flying back into a nearby bookcase, and as he landed, was completely buried in an avalanche of books.
Ms. McChuckles then walked up to Vapor, carrying a small tray of chocolate chip cookies. "Would you like a cookie, dear?" "she" asked the snake-man in an almost sickeningly sweet voice that would make everyone within earshot become diabetic. "Sure!" Vapor said as he poked his head out of the pile and reached for a cookie.
Just as the snake-man's hand was inches away from the delicious treat, he was abruptly cut off by a fist slamming into his face, which sent him flying back yet again. "NO FOOD OR DRINK IN THE LIBRARY!!!!!!" Ms. McChuckles thundered, as Vapor landed on the library floor with a soft grunt. Ms. McChuckles then snapped "her" fingers, and "she" and Vapor were back in the middle of the field were the battle originally took place. Ms. McChuckles then tore off "her" clothes, and changed back into Goofball. The cartoon madman then walked over to Vapor and let out a satisfied chuckle.
-
Vapor
- Member
- Posts: 5156
- Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:00 am
- Location: WHERE IT'S AT
- Contact:
"wait, wha--? Oh c'mon! I wanted some of those books!" With this statement, the pile of books Vapor had been underneath reappeared on top of him. One could barely see his scaly hands sifting through the great pile of literature.
Vapor could be heard muttering some book titles from under the pile. Suddenly, he burst out of the book clump with a hardcover copy of 1984 in his hand, and flew past Goofball, smacking him in the face with it, yelling "ORWELLSLAPPED!!" as he did so. The force was great enough to make Goofball's head spin around. Returning, he flew by again with a copy of Moby Dick and hit goofball again before his head had stopped spinning, yelling "MELVILLESLAPPED!!". making a U-turn, he proceeded to repeat this process with Jack Kerouac's On the Road, Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass, All three books of J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy, H.P. Lovecraft's The Shadow Over Innsmouth, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic book, and William Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury. The effect of Goofball's bombardment with all these tomes was tremendous. His head had probably spun at least 2160 degrees by now, and it's a wonder it hadn't just twisted off by now.
When Goofball could finally look in front of himself, He was too dizzy to see much of anything. However, he did see Vapor rushing at him with all seven volumes of Marcel Proust's In Search of Lost Time and slammed them all right into his face. The weight of the thousands of pages of Modernism had either drove Goofball's head into the ground or flattened it. "Literature pwned," Vapor said in a low voice with his arms crossed. He bust out some Fanta and started drinking.
Vapor could be heard muttering some book titles from under the pile. Suddenly, he burst out of the book clump with a hardcover copy of 1984 in his hand, and flew past Goofball, smacking him in the face with it, yelling "ORWELLSLAPPED!!" as he did so. The force was great enough to make Goofball's head spin around. Returning, he flew by again with a copy of Moby Dick and hit goofball again before his head had stopped spinning, yelling "MELVILLESLAPPED!!". making a U-turn, he proceeded to repeat this process with Jack Kerouac's On the Road, Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass, All three books of J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy, H.P. Lovecraft's The Shadow Over Innsmouth, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic book, and William Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury. The effect of Goofball's bombardment with all these tomes was tremendous. His head had probably spun at least 2160 degrees by now, and it's a wonder it hadn't just twisted off by now.
When Goofball could finally look in front of himself, He was too dizzy to see much of anything. However, he did see Vapor rushing at him with all seven volumes of Marcel Proust's In Search of Lost Time and slammed them all right into his face. The weight of the thousands of pages of Modernism had either drove Goofball's head into the ground or flattened it. "Literature pwned," Vapor said in a low voice with his arms crossed. He bust out some Fanta and started drinking.
-
VG_Addict
- Member
- Posts: 10023
- Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 6:24 pm
- Location: In the Vicinity
- Been thanked: 225 times
Goofball pulled his head out of the ground and walked over to where Vapor was, who was still enjoying his Fanta. The cartoon madman walked until he was mere inches away from Vapor, glared at the snake-man, and backhanded the can of Fanta, knocking it out of Vapor's hands, and sending it onto the ground with a metallic CLUNK, its orange contents spilling everywhere.
"Alright, Vapor, that's it! You're history!" Goofball said in a character-shattering serious tone as he snapped his fingers yet again. Almost as soon as he did so, the area changed once more. This time, however, it changed into a prehistoric landscape, which looked like something out of Jurassic Park. "Prehistory, that is." the cartoon madman finished his sentence with a slightly gentler tone.
The two psychopaths took a moment to enjoy their surroundings. This place was beautiful, albeit in a dark, gloomy, sort of way, as a nearby volcano erupted, spewing out a blood-red rain of lava and small chunks of rock onto the severely cracked ground, and trickled through the large cracks, as well as billowing out a thick fog of blackish-grey smoke, which obscured the Sun and made the sky appear storm-like. Goofball suddenly turned to Vapor and spoke:
"I didn't wanna have to do this, but you leave me with no choice but to sic Fido on you!" the cartoon psychopath said as he cupped his left hand over his mouth and turned to the vast landscape. "HERE, FIDO!!!! HERE, BOY!!!!" Goofball called out. Suddenly, a low, gutteral, roar echoed throughout the field, and a massive T-Rex that would make Godzilla look like a salamander charged to where the two madmen were, making the ground shake with sounds that resembled thunder with each step.
Finally, the T-Rex came to a stop, and leaned over so Goofball could pat his head. "That's a good boy, Fido." the cartoon madman said to the giant lizard as he petted his head. "See that snake guy there? GET HIM!!!!" Goofball commanded, pointing at Vapor. Fido walked over to where Vapor was, leaned his head inches away from the snake-man's face, and let out a Godzilla-esque roar as he brought his tail back and swatted Vapor a good 20 feet in the air, where he finally landed in a tar pit.
"Alright, Vapor, that's it! You're history!" Goofball said in a character-shattering serious tone as he snapped his fingers yet again. Almost as soon as he did so, the area changed once more. This time, however, it changed into a prehistoric landscape, which looked like something out of Jurassic Park. "Prehistory, that is." the cartoon madman finished his sentence with a slightly gentler tone.
The two psychopaths took a moment to enjoy their surroundings. This place was beautiful, albeit in a dark, gloomy, sort of way, as a nearby volcano erupted, spewing out a blood-red rain of lava and small chunks of rock onto the severely cracked ground, and trickled through the large cracks, as well as billowing out a thick fog of blackish-grey smoke, which obscured the Sun and made the sky appear storm-like. Goofball suddenly turned to Vapor and spoke:
"I didn't wanna have to do this, but you leave me with no choice but to sic Fido on you!" the cartoon psychopath said as he cupped his left hand over his mouth and turned to the vast landscape. "HERE, FIDO!!!! HERE, BOY!!!!" Goofball called out. Suddenly, a low, gutteral, roar echoed throughout the field, and a massive T-Rex that would make Godzilla look like a salamander charged to where the two madmen were, making the ground shake with sounds that resembled thunder with each step.
Finally, the T-Rex came to a stop, and leaned over so Goofball could pat his head. "That's a good boy, Fido." the cartoon madman said to the giant lizard as he petted his head. "See that snake guy there? GET HIM!!!!" Goofball commanded, pointing at Vapor. Fido walked over to where Vapor was, leaned his head inches away from the snake-man's face, and let out a Godzilla-esque roar as he brought his tail back and swatted Vapor a good 20 feet in the air, where he finally landed in a tar pit.
-
Vapor
- Member
- Posts: 5156
- Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:00 am
- Location: WHERE IT'S AT
- Contact:
When Vapor landed he was lying down in the tar and sinking rapidly. Sputtering through the goop, he managed to yell "HA! A FACILE OFFENSIVE!" and his form vanished from the tar, steam seeping out. The steam moved towards the shore of the tar pit, then condensed into the snakelike form of Vapor. Shaking his head from the sauropod's blow, he then narrowly dodged another blow from the Tyrannosaur's tail, and then gazed into its gaping maw as it rushed towards him. Too slow to get out of the way, Vapor turned to gas again as Fido was about to crunch down on him, leaving the beast with nothing but thin air.
The dinosaur looked around, confused and scared. The thin mist snaked its way towards the back of the T. Rex, and there, softly as possible, Vapor materialized. He and his materializing were light enough and the beast's skin thick enough that Fido didn't feel a thing.
"HEY! HEY! HE'S RIGHT ON TOP OF YA, BOY!!" Goofball yelled towards the dinosaur, pointing excitedly towards Vapor. Fido was still confused and just looked around wildly. In this time period, Vapor slithered softly up to Fido's head, and jumped onto Fido's nose. Fido, surprised, snapped up at Vapor, but he evaded and quickly threw some of his fairy dust into Fido's mouth. Suddenly, The dinosaur grew grand, shiny white feathered wings and started flying around ecstatically. However he, then noticed Vapor, floating in the air, and began his chase. Vapor's opinion on this matter was "Awwwwww shi-" as he tried to flee from the Fantastical Flying Fido.
The chase was going around in circles over the treetops, and Fido was catching up to Vapor. Goofball was on the ground severely enjoying this spectacle. Thinking quick, Vapor searched himself for any possible deterrents. Ah! he thought as he found a bottle of pills. They were small, tablet-shaped, and labeled "Methylenedioxymethamphetamine". Just as The great tyrannosaur opened its jaws to swallow Vapor whole, Vapor threw the contents of the entire bottle onto the Beast's tongue. turning to mist to evade once again, Fido flew past and Vapor waited for the tabs to take effect.
Fido was about to get up and resume the chase after he crash-landed into a few trees. However, he just looked around wildly, bedazzled by everything he saw. He then started flying everywhere - through the sky, crashing through trees, in and out of the volcano, even attempting to burrow into the ground.
"WHAT on EARTH did you DO to FIDO?!?!" Goofball yelled up to Vapor.
"He's trippin'," Vapor yelled back. "He was gonna end up trying ecstacy sometime, right?"
The dinosaur looked around, confused and scared. The thin mist snaked its way towards the back of the T. Rex, and there, softly as possible, Vapor materialized. He and his materializing were light enough and the beast's skin thick enough that Fido didn't feel a thing.
"HEY! HEY! HE'S RIGHT ON TOP OF YA, BOY!!" Goofball yelled towards the dinosaur, pointing excitedly towards Vapor. Fido was still confused and just looked around wildly. In this time period, Vapor slithered softly up to Fido's head, and jumped onto Fido's nose. Fido, surprised, snapped up at Vapor, but he evaded and quickly threw some of his fairy dust into Fido's mouth. Suddenly, The dinosaur grew grand, shiny white feathered wings and started flying around ecstatically. However he, then noticed Vapor, floating in the air, and began his chase. Vapor's opinion on this matter was "Awwwwww shi-" as he tried to flee from the Fantastical Flying Fido.
The chase was going around in circles over the treetops, and Fido was catching up to Vapor. Goofball was on the ground severely enjoying this spectacle. Thinking quick, Vapor searched himself for any possible deterrents. Ah! he thought as he found a bottle of pills. They were small, tablet-shaped, and labeled "Methylenedioxymethamphetamine". Just as The great tyrannosaur opened its jaws to swallow Vapor whole, Vapor threw the contents of the entire bottle onto the Beast's tongue. turning to mist to evade once again, Fido flew past and Vapor waited for the tabs to take effect.
Fido was about to get up and resume the chase after he crash-landed into a few trees. However, he just looked around wildly, bedazzled by everything he saw. He then started flying everywhere - through the sky, crashing through trees, in and out of the volcano, even attempting to burrow into the ground.
"WHAT on EARTH did you DO to FIDO?!?!" Goofball yelled up to Vapor.
"He's trippin'," Vapor yelled back. "He was gonna end up trying ecstacy sometime, right?"
-
VG_Addict
- Member
- Posts: 10023
- Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 6:24 pm
- Location: In the Vicinity
- Been thanked: 225 times
Goofball was starting to get annoyed by the snake-man. First, he ruins his tuxedo, then he shows blatant disrespect for some of the greatest literature known to mankind, and now, he turns his beloved Fido into a junkie. Now, it was personal.
Goofball spun around Looney Tunes-style once more, but this time, when he stopped, he turned into a frat boy, complete with morbid obesity, severe acne, pants that didn't even come close to covering his ass, and a several-sizes-too-small black T-Shirt with the Greek letters, "Alpha Omega Phi" emblazoned across the chest in gold letters.
"TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!" Frat Goofball chanted with great enthusiasm, before looking at Vapor. "Hey, freshman! Time for your daily paddling!" Frat Goofball cried, holding a huge paddle that was as thick as his arm. Goofball grabbed Vapor by the throat, put him over his knee, and brought the paddle down repeatedly onto Vapor's ass, each strike harder than the last, until finally, Vapor's ass was covered in bruises. Goofball then spun around back into his normal form.
Goofball spun around Looney Tunes-style once more, but this time, when he stopped, he turned into a frat boy, complete with morbid obesity, severe acne, pants that didn't even come close to covering his ass, and a several-sizes-too-small black T-Shirt with the Greek letters, "Alpha Omega Phi" emblazoned across the chest in gold letters.
"TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!" Frat Goofball chanted with great enthusiasm, before looking at Vapor. "Hey, freshman! Time for your daily paddling!" Frat Goofball cried, holding a huge paddle that was as thick as his arm. Goofball grabbed Vapor by the throat, put him over his knee, and brought the paddle down repeatedly onto Vapor's ass, each strike harder than the last, until finally, Vapor's ass was covered in bruises. Goofball then spun around back into his normal form.