Three Truths About C-section Mamas

#1

http://www.cordmama.com/blog/2015/4/8/t ... tion-mamas

As a birth photographer, I’m asked to capture some of the most important stories of a family’s life. I step into their birthing space and document the small and big moments that unfold. I tell the story of their son and daughter’s entrance into the world. The struggles, the fears, the pain, the joy.

These stories are beautiful stories.

But in the birth world, I see a certain type of birth held up as ideal, and in my work I capture many that would fit the standard. The fictional “first place trophy of childbirth”always seems to go to the un-medicated, vaginal births where mom and partner are active and unhindered by doctors or nurses.Just last night, I read an amazing birth story where mom, unintentionally, gave birth at home in her bathtub. Her husband caught the baby because no one else was there. They sat at home on their couch and soaked in all the newborn goodness. It was a great birth story…and I’m sure it will get passed around again and again.

I had the honor of photographing this gorgeous cesarean birth - not the plan, (she was hoping for a VBAC) but beautiful, powerful - and redemptive, in its own right.

Many of you probably read about the amazing footling breech birth I photographed in February. Mom was being prepped for an emergency c-section when she felt such a strong urge to push that her daughter came out, feet first, while she was on the operating table. Again, another amazing birth story that inspired countless women to hold onto their birthing goals.

But lately, I’ve been thinking about the unsung birth heroes. I’ve been thinking about the birth stories that don’t necessarily receive all the thumbs up and high fives and Facebook shares. I’m thinking about the cesarean section stories and the brave women who birth their children with such strength and beauty.

And so, because April is Cesarean awareness month, I encourage us to take a step back and celebrate these three truths about c-section mamas.

1. C-Section mamas are brave.

Being prepped for a c-section is not a walk through the park. Many times, a mother’s partner is not allowed in the OR until after the epidural has been administered and everyone has “taken their place.” This means that while doctors and nurses move about, readying the operating room for delivery (maybe talking about their lunch or what movie they saw over the weekend) a strong pregnant mama sits on a cold operating table considering what lies before her - often scared and often feeling very alone.

And in these moments, a c-section mama must hold onto the strong and fierce love she has for her baby.She lets fear wash over her...and then she lets it drift away. She know that in this moment, this is what is best for her child, even though “what’s best”means a major surgery with real wounds and scars. Even though “what’s best” means letting go of a dream or a vision of birth that she’s been building up for the last nine months.

If you haven’t had a c-section before, I encourage you to let the stark reality of this moment settle in your mind - put yourself in her place, on that table, waiting, possibly fearful.. When you do, I think you’ll quickly realize how brave c-section mamas are.

2. C-Section mamas are strong.

There aren’t many mothers who will say that a c-section was what they had first envisioned when they thought about giving birth. A c-section is a medical necessity in the best of situations; in the worst cases, it can be due to the outdated practices of a doctor or his/her desire for convenience.

Some c-section mamas have weeks to mentally prepare for a change in their plans, but many only have days, hours, or minutes. Suddenly, everything she envisioned when meeting her child has changed. Her birth plan has been thrown out the window. Surgery lies before her. She doesn’t know how long she’ll have to wait after birth before she holds her baby in her arms.

We humans don’t tend to do well in situations of sudden change. And yet c-section mamas find a way to let go of their pride and connect with an inner-strength that allows them to enter the OR and give birth to their child.

And then the actual surgery happens. The actual cutting and suturing. Full recovery often takes months. And while most of us would like to curl up with a bowl of ice cream and a stack of movies after a major surgery, c-section mamas do just the opposite. They nurture and love and bond with their needy, beautiful babies.

Emotionally and physically, these women are SO strong. And this strength isn’t just necessary on delivery day; this strength must endure in the weeks and months and years ahead - as their bodies and souls heal, crafting new dreams with their little ones in their arms.

3. C-Section mamas are beautiful.

Becoming a mother leaves all of us with scars. Some of them are emotional, some of them are physical. C-section mamas often have both. And yet their scars are powerful reminders of the strength and bravery they possessed when bringing their children into the world. These scars were the door their children passed through as they left one world for the next.

I’m captivated by how different each scar is – the texture, the length, the placement. Just as each scar is unique, as is each c-section birth story. I’m captivated by how these scars change over time – how they fade, how they grow, how they heal. These scars are beautiful and something worth celebrating.Instead of covering our c-section mamas with shame, we need to encourage them to show their scars of strength and bravery to the world.

I am nobody · #2

My sister and I were both born by c-section. You can probably guess what I think of the procedure and the women who choose to have it done. :p

YouTube · #3

A fourth truth: C-Section mamas are mamas.
I know that should go without saying, but sadly, I've encountered those who would argue otherwise.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

I REALLY HATE POKEMON! · #4

I never knew there was an issue. I was born c-section and never thought about it. At least they get the awareness they deserve for a month.

Valigarmander · #5

My mother was a petite woman. All three of us brats were C-section babies.

KhaieshaChai · #6

Just out of curiosity, do any of you who were born by c-section have any allergies or intolerances (lactose, glucose, etc.), and/or were you often sick as a child (relative to other children)? There is a lot of microbial "alignment" so to speak that c-section babies miss out on. I've read theories that this can affect future health, so I was just curious about your first-hand experiences.

I am nobody · #7

I actually get set very dramatically less than other people around me. I'm routinely the only one that doesn't catch viruses.

As for allergies, I have a few, but none that my parents don't have. I'd assume they're all genetic.

Random User · #8

I was born via c-section and have recently developed very bad allergies to cats, to the point where I can't really be around a cat for long without medication or I'll have a very difficult time breathing. My mom was similarly allergic to cats and dogs, though. I have no idea if allergies are hereditary.

Marilink · #9

Wait...

There is an issue concerning this?

...what?

I REALLY HATE POKEMON! · #10

[QUOTE="KhaieshaChai, post: 1529981, member: 40004"]Just out of curiosity, do any of you who were born by c-section have any allergies or intolerances (lactose, glucose, etc.), and/or were you often sick as a child (relative to other children)? There is a lot of microbial "alignment" so to speak that c-section babies miss out on. I've read theories that this can affect future health, so I was just curious about your first-hand experiences.[/QUOTE]

That is kind of scary. I have an allergy to a certain antibiotic but that's about it for allergies...

ZeldaGirl · #11

[QUOTE="Marilink, post: 1529991, member: 23215"]Wait...

There is an issue concerning this?

...what?[/QUOTE]

Unfortunately, people suck. I can't believe how much judgment women face for any of their parenting choices. You'll be called a bad parent if you:

deliver naturally with midwives
have a c-section
use formula
breastfeed in public
wear your baby
not wear your baby
do baby yoga or sing-a-long classes
force your child to do yoga or other activities

and yada yada yada. Some communities of mothers are excellent and supportive of one another and the different choices everyone makes for their families.

....and the rest are total bitches.

I REALLY HATE POKEMON! · #12

Man, people don't know true bad parenting if they think anything on that list counts.

Random User · #13

My way is the only way.

#14

But... it's not their kid.

And, of course it's some way to act superior. They want to be the very best like no one ever was.

I REALLY HATE POKEMON! · #15

To catch babies is their true test.

ZeldaGirl · #16

TO RAISE THEM IS THEIR CAUSE

#17

I was a home delivery, myself.

My sister's kind of...you know...narrow. They had to cut on her a little to get her babbies out. Not to the extent of Caesarean. Just the episiotomy deal. Widen the channel a bit to let the boat through, so to speak.

She's preggers again. Wonder what the haps is this time. Dakota's a bit of a far dingdong cry from Wisconsin, in terms of stuff. Hope she's getting good, good care.

I REALLY HATE POKEMON! · #18

hey you broke the chain wtf

ScottyMcGee · #19

I wasn't a C-section baby.

C-section makes me cringe. I can't believe there are people who don't support C-section mothers, like what the fffff? They CUT YOU OPEN. Surgery amazes me. Open bodies make me shiver. I could never be a surgeon. It's not the blood or the smell or anything else that gets me about birth. It's any open wounds that bother me. I have this fear that if my significant other gets a C-section and they're released from the hospital, they'll just start walking and then their abdomen just pops open and parts just spill out. Oh God why did I just do that to myself. I should have never read Jurassic Park.

smol Kat · #20

[QUOTE="KhaieshaChai, post: 1529981, member: 40004"]Just out of curiosity, do any of you who were born by c-section have any allergies or intolerances (lactose, glucose, etc.), and/or were you often sick as a child (relative to other children)? There is a lot of microbial "alignment" so to speak that c-section babies miss out on. I've read theories that this can affect future health, so I was just curious about your first-hand experiences.[/QUOTE]
My brother was c-section (I wasn't) and he has some pretty serious allergies (a couple years ago he was diagnosed with sunlight allergy), but there are a lot of differences between us in that regard... (I have a couple of minor food allergies, but two of them are genetic. One's just...random.)

-He was bottlefed, and I was not.
-He was preemie, and I was not.
-When he was born he was under respiratory distress, but I was just cold. I wanted back in apparently. (I still can't stand being cold and think anything below 70F is a grave injustice.)

I think it's more likely a combination of factors; in his case the three ones listed above.