Do you think my friend sees me more as a client than a friend?

ScottyMcGee · #1

Let's call this guy Bob.

I knew Bob way back since pre-school. We grew up together throughout grade school, middle school and high school. Around high school it became one of those things where you just went your own way, didn't really talk anymore to each other, and just went off to college. Nothing bad like a falling out - we just became more involved in our interests.

Fast forward to now. Bob has been my FB friend for ages still but we hardly talked. I ran into his dad earlier in 2014 when I went for jury duty (his dad's a lawyer). Bob and I also have LinkedIn accounts (if you don't know, basically FB for jobs).

Until about a month ago, I realized Bob had messaged me through LinkedIn. I hardly ever check LinkedIn and was like "Oh crap, he actually tried to talk to me." He said how he ran into my profile and how I ran into his dad and wanted to catch up. So I contacted him back, we chatted, and then we hung out this past week.

We met up at this cafe and talked about our lives since high school. He was all still in his business clothes, so we began talking about his work. He said he worked for his uncle's financial planning company. He then said how he really liked to help old friends of ours with financial planning, saying how much the government really takes from us and blah blah blah and how like 95% of Americans don't successfully take control of their money. Some haphazard statistic like that.

He had some work stuff with him in case I was interested. I said yes just to have a peek.

Long story short, we talked more about it and I got interested, yet at the same time in the back of my head I started to get worried a little bit. Was this whole thing planned? He never mentioned anything about payment yet or how much he'd do this thing for me. Eventually he said he could give me a proposal of a financial plan to save more money. He admired how I had a 401k already and that I was already ahead of the cut at my age. The proposal wouldn't be any commitment, and I could refuse the entire thing once he gave it to me. I had to sign something, however, accepting his proposal. I read everything carefully to make sure he wasn't going to do a 180 on some technicality should something go sour - but it was pretty straight forward.

The one weird thing, and this makes me wonder if I shouldn't have done this, is that I had to sign this waiver for his company to take my blood. He said it was for the insurance or whatever to make sure I was healthy and didn't have anything like HIV/AIDS.

All of this I want to be on DL with my parents unless I seriously go through with his proposal, so I requested that instead of the company coming to my house to take my blood, I'd go to their office.

He said it wasn't as weird as it seemed and it's actually really common - which means nothing to me since this is the first time I'm experieincing this so I have no idea what to base this on.

What really hooked me was when he asked me about any dreams I had other than my current work. Of course I do - I love to write, I hope to get published one day, I even have tough dreams of working in movies. Whenever even the slightest opportunity comes by that could help with those things, I like to take a peek.

However, I have had run ins in the past with old friends/people whom I've hardly talk to come up to me suddenly with monetary offerings.

It's funny though, becuase over time the offers seem more and more legit, and this time it's super legit (i.e. they work with Guardian Life Insurance and Park Ave Securities, he actually has a business card and everything)

The first time someone I knew came to me with a business plan was really sketchy. They just kept messaging me, never being specific on the plan, and the website was awfully strange and not put together well. The second time was a little more convincing, but just a little - this one guy said I could get into Internet marketing and I could just work from home getting people to buy stuff. I talked to his boss but then I saw that this too was sketch. The THIRD TIME a friend came to me with an offer was yet better looking than the last, but you obviously had to pay a lot in order for something big to happen.

It's like having a live spam folder all the sudden. If it's not email or letters, it's actual people turning into spam.

Now this fourth time is pretty different since it has to do with financial planning, but at the same time I've grown up with this guy and trust him 100x more than the last three people. BUT AT THE SAME TIME feel really weird about it. I'm tentatively set for the blood drawing appointment this Wednesday. I don't know if I should go through with it. Like he said, I actually have to be approved to see if the company accepts me for a financial plan proposal. So I may not even get involved at all. But if I do get accepted, and the plan does seem interesting - I still feel weird about it. I assume I will have to pay him something if I accept his proposal - though he completely never went there when we talked. Is Bob really that crafty to approach me only to use me like this? The last time I remember him he was making fart jokes and penis jokes. He didn't seem to change much - aka a goofball.

#2

Two things.

Most important: If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Follow your gut. Is this too weird? Are you feeling alarm bells? Then bail. You don't owe anything to stranger-from-your-past, especially if this is triggering scammy or shady concerns in you. Protect yourself foremost.

Second, just be direct with the guy and ask if you will be expected to pay for this service. If you don't want to come off like you were assuming this was all done in charity, phrase it to him as, "How much is the fee for this service if I go ahead with your proposal? I need to know up-front if this is going to fit into my budget," or something similar.

Good luck, stay safe.

I REALLY HATE POKEMON! · #3

Sounds like he's more in it for business, I'm afraid. Doesn't mean he'd necessarily trying to con you, but it doesn't seem like he wants to hang out on your couch and play CoD either.

I don't know what kinda plan he's offered you but if you're legit interested, there's no reason not to follow through.

By the way, I'm a financial planner myself, I also work in investments. For a modest fee I can let you in on some insider secrets. I'll just need your credit card information. =}

ScottyMcGee · #4

[QUOTE="I REALLY HATE POKEMON!, post: 1510852, member: 18119"]Sounds like he's more in it for business, I'm afraid. Doesn't mean he'd necessarily trying to con you, but it doesn't seem like he wants to hang out on your couch and play CoD either.

[/Quote]

Funny thing he actually friended me on my Wii U and has Smash and wants to play. It's just that with those past three people I'm like really trying to read into him but then sometimes wondering if I'm reading too much and it's a genuine "Hey, I want to help you out." He didn't ask any intrusive questions. Like if he asked for my SSN I'd have been like "Aha - no." He just wanted to know my spending habits, monthly expenses, my aspirations.

[QUOTE="Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds, post: 1510849, member: 17429"]Two things.

Most important: If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Follow your gut. Is this too weird? Are you feeling alarm bells? Then bail. You don't owe anything to stranger-from-your-past, especially if this is triggering scammy or shady concerns in you. Protect yourself foremost.

Second, just be direct with the guy and ask if you will be expected to pay for this service. If you don't want to come off like you were assuming this was all done in charity, phrase it to him as, "How much is the fee for this service if I go ahead with your proposal? I need to know up-front if this is going to fit into my budget," or something similar.

Good luck, stay safe.[/QUOTE]

Thanks. I was actually trying to find a good way to word how much I'd have to pay him.

The other offers I've been given were definitely too good to be true. This one seems pretty neutral at the moment. I haven't seen the proposal because I have to be approved first after they take my blood. He said it takes a while for the process to go through - like three weeks or so. The fact that this seems to be going through channels and not just "Hey we can do it now, meet us now, let's make money now" makes me feel more comfortable.

And yet there's another foreboding downer - my mom once used his dad as a lawyer a while back when my grandparents passed and she had to take care of legal work. His dad ended up overpaying her for little, itty bitty things. When she told me that, it left me with a foreboding feeling. Is Bob going to be the same way? I wouldn't know, he was trained by his uncle and I never met his uncle so I don't know. I don't like to judge people in the archaic "Oh, it must be in their blood" way.

YouTube · #5

This reminds me of how Amway operates. They train their people to turn every social interaction into a sales pitch. Gotta say, I think he sees you as more client, I'm afraid. :(

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

ScottyMcGee · #6

[QUOTE="Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds, post: 1510849, member: 17429"]

Second, just be direct with the guy and ask if you will be expected to pay for this service. If you don't want to come off like you were assuming this was all done in charity, phrase it to him as, "How much is the fee for this service if I go ahead with your proposal? I need to know up-front if this is going to fit into my budget," or something similar.

Good luck, stay safe.[/QUOTE]

So I shot him an email with a bunch of questions, one of them namely being that one. He said up front directly he is not paying me anything, and will tell me in person next time we hang out.

Hm.

ZeldaGirl · #7

my spending habits, monthly expenses, my aspirations.

[MEDIA=youtube]TxfZbj5vf7Y[/MEDIA]

Maybe if you're good friends, these are normal questions. This definitely sounds like it's all business; it's okay to feel doubts, because this guy is probably trained to be super affable and personable, but your gut seems to be spot on.

He said up front directly he is not paying me anything, and will tell me in person next time we hang out.

But did he answer the question if you have to pay him?

I think you need to trust your gut and any other foreboding clues. You're his client.

#8

I would feel concerned by any insistence to only answer questions in person. I'm not saying he's necessarily shady, but it is a common tactic for scammers to want to deal with you in person so they can make the pressure harder for you to avoid. They like to get you on the spot so you will commit to things without adequate time to assess or think it over. Again, I don't have enough information/knowledge to say for certain that this guy is like that, buuuut from what you've said, I personally would be VERY hesitant.

Maybe search "*business name* scam" or "is *business name* legitimate" or something and see if anything comes up.