Opening Up
Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2014 1:33 am
For those who have taken the time to read this I hope I don't bore you. This isn't really a problem I have, or at least something I cannot fix on my own, I just felt like sharing a slice of my life.
Last December, my son's 2nd birthday actually, my mother died, two days before her 53rd birthday. She and I had never got along and she was never really close to me. Six months before my mother passed, my grandmother passed away from COPD. Everything completely drove me over the edge and despite problems I was having with my fiancé, my actions made things worse and she eventually strayed away from me and we began living apart. After my mother died I left the area. I have quite the history of just walking out whenever things get too deep for me rather than being a man.
In April I came back for the 10th time I believe. I did soul searching while I was away and tried to figure out why I say and do the things I do. I realize that I take things way too far. I have been both physically and mentally abusive to her and all along I thought it was her driving me to do these things but all along it was my own actions, I just couldn't admit or accept it.
By the grace of god she has let me back into her life. We still live apart but after almost 10 1/2 years together we are still doing all we can to keep our bond strong. I think things will be the way they once were but it will take time to heal all the battle scars.
Last December, my son's 2nd birthday actually, my mother died, two days before her 53rd birthday. She and I had never got along and she was never really close to me. Six months before my mother passed, my grandmother passed away from COPD. Everything completely drove me over the edge and despite problems I was having with my fiancé, my actions made things worse and she eventually strayed away from me and we began living apart. After my mother died I left the area. I have quite the history of just walking out whenever things get too deep for me rather than being a man.
In April I came back for the 10th time I believe. I did soul searching while I was away and tried to figure out why I say and do the things I do. I realize that I take things way too far. I have been both physically and mentally abusive to her and all along I thought it was her driving me to do these things but all along it was my own actions, I just couldn't admit or accept it.
By the grace of god she has let me back into her life. We still live apart but after almost 10 1/2 years together we are still doing all we can to keep our bond strong. I think things will be the way they once were but it will take time to heal all the battle scars.