Rage

[ScottyMcGee]

I never really talked about personal stuff on here but something just happened a few short hours ago and I need to vent.

I also want to really be careful with what I say, so I'll be somewhat cryptic in how I name some people, but you'll catch my drift.

I got into a car crash, my very first one. I wasn't driving, but M was (you know. . .you came from your M and your D. Just to assign them letters).

We were minding our own business when suddenly WHAM! We get struck from behind.

M tends to be very nervous so she was like "Oh ****, someone hit us. What do we do? What do we do?" Neither of us has EVER been in a car crash. So I calmed her down and told her to pull over.

I get out and, almost unbenkownst to my own reasoning, I shout out to the person behind us "WHAT THE F#CK?"

I then get serious as I realize the person behind us was seriously banged up. M and I managed with only some dents in the back, but their entire front is crunched up like an accordion, they've got their air bags deployed, and their car is LEAKING.

(Plus the girl who was driving was actually REALLY cute so I was THAT kind of annoying guy who immediately went from mad to flirtatious in .5 seconds by being all, "Oh, dear me. Are you hurt? Is everything all right?")

All sarcasm aside, I really wanted to know if they were okay, because I was afraid their car would light on fire or something with the oil leaking. Thankfully, it didn't.

The girl admitted she was going too fast, probably to catch the light (we had just passed by a green light so maybe it changed when we passed and she was trying to run through it). I tried to ask them some questions (she was driving with two friends) but they were too dazed to answer. So I let them be making sure nothing was going to blow up.

The cops came and everything was sorted out in just a matter of minutes. It was a pretty clear case and nothing big is coming out of it. We're going to be covered and all.

So then what's this post about and why is it called "Rage"?

Well.

It's about D.

Like I said, I never shared anything personal on here, but take my word for it - he's a misogynist idiotic bastard who once slapped M a long time ago. Even though that never happened ever again, D is still verbally abusive towards M.

We called up D during the aftermath of the crash to tell him what happened.

Instead of asking if we were okay his initial reaction was, quite literally, "How did you let that happen? Who was driving?" And when I said M was driving he said, "Why didn't you drive? You know how M is too slow."

I hung up on him with disgust.

M and I went back home. D came out to see the damage on the back of the car. Honestly, we were quite lucky. I give Hyundai Santa Fe tons of kudos for absorbing that crash. The damage is unnoticeable until you're actually standing behind it.

D looks at the damage and immediately rails on M for being a stupid driver, saying M is "always **** slow on the road."

And then I had it.

I came up to him and shouted, for all the neighborhood to hear, "SHUT THE F*CK UP AND GET BACK IN THE HOUSE." He looks at me and goes, "Oh, really? You don't say." M is shouting some stuff at D too but I'm so heated suddenly that I cannot hear. All I can think about is this irreversible rage that has swelled up and cannot be contained anymore.

D starts railing on M again when I interrupted him.

"WHAT THE F*CK DID I JUST SAY? WE WERE HIT FROM BEHIND. SHUT THE **** UP AND GET BACK IN THE HOUSE. WE'RE FINE WE'RE COVERED."

D seems as though he doesn't know what to do or say at first, and then settles with, no effing joke, "Give me your best shot."

So I grab him by the coller and pin him against the car. I shout more things at his face, which I cannot remember now, and then M breaks us up.

We settle down and go back inside the house.

In the end, I wasn't shaken up by the car crash at all. I was shaken by my own rage for D and the things he's done to M that I've shown a part of myself that's been dormant for years now.

*sigh*

I don't really know where I wanted to go with this only that I felt like ranting and having people hear me. I guess I wonder if anyone's ever been in a situation like this. Somewhat. A little bit.

[Deepfake]

Yeah, you've got my complete sympathy for being pissed off. "You're acting irrational and abusive, and we're not at fault, nobody is going to accept your blame," would generally convey everything you need to say, for future reference. If you want the upper hand, the best way to get it is to make sure you're not the one being childish. If you're both being childish, it's going to get exponentially worse. It's hard to put anger to bed, and sometimes loud words are the only way to get someone to listen, it's really up to your discretion what you do and I don't doubt you may have tried being reasonable beforehand. Keep in mind that violence is his way, not yours. You don't have to follow his terms for success, you can find your own.

And if you're feeling a little bit of guilt over it, which naturally also will frustrate you as you didn't create the situation, just keep in mind that the quality of person you possess isn't reflected in making a mistake. You can measure your quality in character in how you deal with this afterwards, and what you learn from it. It doesn't sound like D is in control of how he reacts, he was probably very frightened and does not cope well with feeling like he does not have control of the situation. Instead of focusing on your anger towards the perpetrator, if you're concerned about how M is treated, try to focus on making sure M is okay. Talk to her clearly and ask her opinions like you would want someone to ask of you. Direct your attention to something constructive, and if you can't change anything about this situation, it's okay to find something where your attention is going to be constructive.

[ScottyMcGee]

What really got to me, the words that just made me flip, was how he told me "Give me your best shot." Like the **** bastard was just mocking me, testing me. He usually acts as though "I'm the big guy here and nobody can usurp me. You can't do anything. I dare you."

M is completely fine and I checked up on her. I talked to a couple friends about the situation and they were worried that I should see a doctor about the crash. I didn't feel anything other than pressure against the seat against my lower back. At the moment of the crash, I had been leaning over to pick something up from the floor. So my neck didn't whip back actually, but my lower back just pressed up against the seat. M kep saying my side got the worst of it being that she didn't feel hurt at all and that the damage on the back shows a bigger dent on my side.

I woke up in the middle of the night to pee and I still feel fine. The only thing I'm slightly worried about is that I had a herniated disc a long time ago (6 years ago) in my lower back. I don't think anything would happen because it's been so long that it healed by then but. . yeah.

[glux]

I hate people like that. "Even when it's clearly not your fault, it's your fault."
I have the utmost sympathy on your end. The way I see it, you were just protecting your mother, which is definitely not a bad thing given the "backstory" you gave.

[Softguitar]

[QUOTE="ScottyMcGee"]Even though that never happened ever again, D is still verbally abusive towards M.[/quote]

[QUOTE="ScottyMcGee"]He looks at me and goes, "Oh, really? You don't say." M is shouting some stuff at D too but I'm so heated suddenly that I cannot hear. All I can think about is this irreversible rage that has swelled up and cannot be contained anymore.[/quote]
It seems to me he has no respect for you or your mother... You were protecting your mother, so there's nothing wrong with how you reacted. ARF! ARF! GOTCHA made a good point.

You and mother should go see a doctor. Even though you feel like nothing's wrong, there might be something that you can't see or feel. Getting a check-up doesn't hurt.

[smol Kat]

Your reaction makes perfect sense. Considering how guilty you felt, and how you checked up on your mom afterwards suggests that you're not going to turn out like your dad. You actually, y'know, give a ****.

Also yes, definitely get checked out, especially with prior injury.

[ScottyMcGee]

Ugh.

Yesterday, which was right after the crash, D went out early to go to this cafe he always does his work at instead of staying home. It's no more than like a mile away. M saw that he was taking the good car (We have two cars). She went up to him saying, "Wait, shouldn't you use the Santa Fe (aka the dented car) because Scotty and I will probably go somewhere far today." And he turned to her and said, "You two f-ed up the car, so you get to drive it." And left.

I was still asleep for this so I didn't get to witness it except from what M told me. I probably would have went all out again.

Ugh. People. Just.

People.

[glux]

He sounds like a dick. #sorrynotsorry

[Deepfake]

Yeah, just sounds like a selfish a-hole.