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This is years of pent up anger, I need to let this out before it gets worse. If you think it doesn't promote discussion or breaks some other rule feel free to lock the topic.

For as long as I can remember I have been constantly ignored and generally treated like crap. My thoughts are selfish, when I want something I'm being ignorant. I worked 5 months baby sitting, made 300 dollars but I can't have that money for god knows why. I was scammed. Around 2 years ago my mother's friend needed a place to stay. Guess who lost their room? It wasn't even a big deal to me honestly, what really ticked me off was when I found out that bitch was talking about me behind my back, after all I had done for her. When I tried talking to my parents about it, they **** ignored me. She's gone now, but I haven't forgotten. The mascara on the edge of the bed is a depressing reminder. I can't express my political views because they're "controversial". I'm against western feminism and I support trump and I dislike Obama. Nobody wants to listen to what I have to say, what I say is 100% wrong. I'm **** sick of it, I listen to other people. I love debating, but I don't like arguing. One time I got on r/feminism and said I think that they should keep the film industry and politics separate. I wanted to debate with them, I wanted to here their views and opinions. They banned me. I wasn't trolling, I wasn't speaking out against feminism even. I just asked them to keep politics and movies separate. It especially makes my blood boil when I hear how oppressed western women are. You want **** oppressed? Go look at the middle east, just **** look at them. They are treated like dogs. Oh, but the Quran is so pro women. I kid you not a **** feminist tried to explain to me that the Quran isn't sexist, but the Bible is. I don't even have a religion, I think each and every one of them is horse ****. Religions are created to explain things we don't understand which makes them bound to be eventually disproved. Oh but don't get me wrong there is a god, and he hates me. I've got the **** luck, every day I swear he looks down at me and says "**** you". My strange political and religious views put me at odds with everyone I meet, I've never had a girl interested in me. Except for this one chick, she kept following me around for some reason. It was weird and when I told her to back off she got really depressed, JUST LIKE ME. Oh, but according to my dearest mother I was in the wrong for turning her down. It would never have worked, and I knew that. Plus I was like 9 and firmly against getting a girlfriend while in school. I still kinda am, but I've relaxed a bit. At this point I am so **** ready to die. I've made a pact with myself that as soon as death comes for me, I'm not going to try and prevent it. The only reason that I'm not committing suicide is because I don't want to be reborn or end up in purgatory. I dread the fact that I might have another 50+ years on this **** planet. I just want it to end.

You can't have a conversation on social media anymore. Not when it's so easy to ignore people without immediate consequences. In addition, it seems you probably live in an abusive household and it would be in your best interest to get out of it as soon as you can and your politics have nothing to do with that. It'll get better without them, I promise you.

And of course, despite the fact that we're a bunch of randos on the internet, VGF is always willing to listen. Or at the very least, I will. I can assure you that much.

It's all well and good to vent, but what are you going to do about it? You're at that awkward stage between child and adult, make the most of it instead of fretting because someone said something mean about you.

You act like you feel pretty oppressed for someone who sets the minimum amount of oppression worth complaining about at "women in the Middle East." Maybe think about that.

Dealing with anger takes initiative... and there are steps that you can take to help you.

You can try to not react and remove yourself from the immediate situation (with dignity and a short statement if necessary: "Sorry, I can't do this just now. I need to have some space to think").

Find a healthy outlet... have a bath, or go for a slow walk and listen to the sounds around you (not music that can elicit emotions), or even call someone who is just there to listen and explain how you feel using "I feel..." statements. Or do some yoga. There's a gadzillion youtube videos all wanting an audience, so find your favourite yoga person to do some stretches with.

Use your imagination to visual the ideal solution... and think about the following-- does the solution harm me or anyone else? What steps do I need to take to realise the solution without any negatives?

Now you can use that same technique... imagination... to find yourself a calming place. 'Take' yourself to the beach and 'listen' to the waves and seagulls. Or wherever your calming place is.

Learn forgiveness. By learning to forgive, you can learn to detach yourself from the person/situation/trigger that causes you to feel anger.

And all of that takes practice... it's not going to be all 'fixed' the first time you try it... maybe not even the 20th time you try it.

As for the rest of your post, please excuse me as I generalise... for people who ignore you... be the bigger person and acknowledge them with a polite greeting and a smile. Smiles are contagious and maybe they just need that in their life sometimes. Keep moving. You don't need to stop and make small talk. If you do have to interact, be polite. It doesn't cost you anything to be polite.

As for the money... learn from your experience. When you do babysitting next time, ask to be paid at the end of the time. If that's unacceptable, then look for other families to babysit for.

As for your mother's friend... you could just let it go. It won't be the first time someone speaks about you... and I'd fall off my chair if it were the last. Does what she said matter after all this time for real? You're not the same kid you were 2 years ago... so let it go. Deep breathe and forgive.

As for the mascara... remove it. It'll come off. Depending what your bed is made of, will depend upon the technique to remove it. Use google to help you find "how to remove mascara from ???".

As for your views... maybe listen more and expand your knowledge and be open to new ideas and ideals. Not everyone will find your views controversial but be careful not to surround yourself with people who only agree... you could end up in an echo-chamber. Ask people polite open questions...




Good grief, I could go on... life is so short and yet so exciting. There's so much to learn and your experience/s is/are just one of many billions in this world. Embrace the learning and good luck if you actually read through all that. ;)

I don't really know enough about your situation regarding your well-being but you're hardly at a point in your experience where everything is going to make sense, and I do know how frustrating it can be to think you're not being treated fairly. I was very defensive over my personal space when I was young, and still am somewhat, and experience with others not respecting my boundaries had a lot to do with that. If my parents had simply given my room as lodging to someone I only tangentially knew without regard for my permission, I would have remembered it and harbored resentment over it to this day.

I would definitely agree with DT above and say that you're putting your foot in your mouth bringing your idea that people should not discuss the social order and whether or not they experience disrespect or are treated fairly, when you are doing that exact thing. It is difficult to sympathise when you hold others to different standards. I'm sure it may not mean much to you, but I am behaving fairly out of character in that this is very much more polite than I feel your generalisations are necessarily deserving.

The world is a complex and frustrating place and the first mistake any person tends to make is in believing that what they hold true is somehow universal. My grandmother grew up in a society before it was socially acceptable for her to work to sustain herself. She may have been treated respectfully by the day's standards, but she was still effectively treated as less than a full citizen in a society which constantly downplayed her simply because she was born with genitals that caused her parents and culture to raise her as such a person. Keep in mind that you working for your own money and not being allowed to use it may sound unjust, but just imagine not even being allowed to do that work and told you could not qualify for it without ever being given the chance at training and upbringing to do it competently. You are then only worth as much as whichever male takes interest in you. We are not so far down the road from this that it is distant history. My grandmother is still alive and she has a very keen mind, and yet still will repeat that she does not believe women are able to do what a man does, because she was never allowed to believe that.

Emotional abuse comes in many ways, and I'm loathe to write you off as I do not know your background. That said, consider that just as others do no necessarily share your experience or understand your feelings, there are dimensions of the human experience which are unique to all other people. Asking for compassion while arguing against it can only make you a target of ridicule for most of the people who will take the time to listen. Treat people decently and do not presume to know so much, and you may find that new angles can bring different feelings and ideas.

There is entirely too many people who are saying 'I put up with it and so should you' who seek to minimise anyone else's frustration. That applies to your views on feminism, and those who would malign you outright. I would suggest you take the opportunity to sympathise. If you approach everything with defensive skepticism, other people will perceive you as simply over-critical and judgemental. You can do better than that, I believe.

As for your family woes, etc, please elaborate more clearly and if you have additional frustrations, feel free to vent. If you just want to vent, that's completely understandable, but if you want help or wisdom from an outside source, the more anyone here knows the better.