Why David has a small penis.

[Valigarmander]

It's not because it's cold in the Galleria dell'Accademia.

Although recent studies have shown the average penis size doesn’t measure up to popular notions, and that women care less about length than other aesthetic attributes, the idea that penis size matters is everywhere. Marketers capitalize on penis size anxiety by convincing men to shell out for everything from pills to enlargement surgery, which runs between $4,000 to $17,000. (In case you’re curious, Germans opt for the surgery more than anyone else in the world. The U.S. came in way down in ninth place.)

But there was a time when smaller was considered better, and the testament to that sentiment can be viewed in some of the world’s greatest museums. If you’ve ever wondered why classical statues—meaning those of the Greek and Roman varieties—are so modestly endowed, the answer lies in societal views on penis size in those eras. The Greeks believed small penises were a sign of intelligence and cultural distinction. Big penises, conversely, were regarded with disdain, a signifier of a lusty, bestial, lowly sex-ogre with animalistic cravings.

Ellen Oredsson, an art historian and head curator at Bangkok’s Rock Around Asia gallery, explains the role Grecian beauty standards played in the small penises attached to some of the world’s most famous classical sculptures:

“Today, big penises are seen as valuable and manly, but back then, most evidence points to the fact that small penises were considered better than big ones. One of the reasons historians, such as Kenneth Dover in his landmark book Greek Homosexuality, have suggested that small penises were more culturally valued is that large penises were associated with very specific characteristics: foolishness, lust and ugliness... Meanwhile, the ideal Greek man was rational, intellectual and authoritative. He may still have had a lot of sex, but this was unrelated to his penis size, and his small penis allowed him to remain coolly logical....The ancient Romans might have been more positive towards large penises, but their sculptures continue the trend of small penises. Later, in Renaissance art, sculptors were very specifically influenced by ancient Greek art and their small penis size.”

Hence the smaller size phallus on Michelangelo’s Renaissance sculpture David (take a closer look), and Greek sculptures Victorious Youth and early classical period Kritios Boy.

The Art & Popular Culture wiki noted that “[l]ong, thick penises were considered—at least in the highbrow view—grotesque, comic, or both and were usually found on fertility gods, half-animal critters such as satyrs, ugly old men, and barbarians. A circumcised penis was particularly gross.”

[Apiary Tazy]

So you're saying that the David has actually statue porn all along?

[DarkZero]

I thought someone named David made you angry today and that's why you made this topic

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Seems like self-reassurance was big among the ancients.

[X-3]

I figured it was because Michelangelo only had white marble to work with.

[Marilink]

I mean, come on, maybe he just got out of the pool.

[spooky scary bearatons]

[QUOTE="Valigarmander, post: 1596600, member: 30663"]Big penises, conversely, were regarded with disdain, a signifier of a lusty, bestial, lowly sex-ogre with animalistic cravings. [/QUOTE]

same tbh

[Red]

Maybe he's a grower not a shower.

[Deepfake]

[QUOTE="spooky scary bearatons, post: 1596769, member: 30168"]same tbh[/QUOTE]
this is MY swamp

[CaptHayfever]

^Hey now.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Apollo the Just]

Big penises, conversely, were regarded with disdain, a signifier of a lusty, bestial, lowly sex-ogre with animalistic cravings.

I relate strongly to ancient Grecians

[Booyakasha]

...I mean, he's only going off to fight Goliath, isn't he. Think my wiener might deflate a little if I were about to take on a huge burly muscley dude, too. (Or maybe it'd shoot up like a tent-pole. Kind of thing you can't really be sure of until you're in the moment.)