11 Brutally Honest Reasons Why...

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11 Brutally Honest Reasons Why...

#1

Post by United Nations » Sat Dec 26, 2015 8:15 pm

Millennials Don't Want Kids.

I know it's click bait, but I really relate to this article. I'm 24 and all of these reasons apply to me except 4 and 7.

It's not that I don't love kids, there's just no way kids fit into my life. I have student loans, a teacher salary, medium credit, plans to travel the world, diabetes family history, heart disease family history, depression issues from my side, anxiety issues from Mr. UN's side, and a husband who feels the same way. Not to mention just world problems in general I don't want to expose children to. Heck, I couldn't even afford to adopt kids if I wanted to.

What do you all think about having kids in today's world?

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#2

Post by Deku Tree » Sat Dec 26, 2015 8:38 pm

I didn't really want kids, and I don't want more now, but my daughter makes me happy in a way I wouldn't have understood before. And it's kinda cool to be adopting a kid that's already in the world that needs parents.

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#3

Post by Calamity Panfan » Sat Dec 26, 2015 9:20 pm

Good list. I want kids somewhere down the line and it's not something i really worry about now (you usually need a wife or girlfriend first before doing that). Yet even so I think about what it would be like to have them with debt, pursuit of a low-paying career, and now especially after I've learned more about some of my issues with anxiety.

All the anti-millennial stuff I've seen seems just like a classic case of "older generations don't understand how the new generation works and therefore think that they're doing everything wrong," and views of children is definitely a huge difference between gens
and that's the waaaaaaaaaay the news goes

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#4

Post by LOOT » Sat Dec 26, 2015 9:35 pm

I get enough **** from being a trans woman, a kid under my care would easily suffer far worse.

Also I am terrible with kids, despite family and even friends saying I'm really good with them. NO I AM NOT DAMMIT STOP IT

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#5

Post by CaptHayfever » Sat Dec 26, 2015 9:49 pm

Most of these make sense (especially 11), but I really don't understand 8 at all. The world is always terrible. It always will be terrible. If you're waiting for an end to all suffering everywhere, well, that's just never gonna happen as long as there's weather. There is nowhere on earth immune to natural disasters.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

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#6

Post by Random User » Sat Dec 26, 2015 11:51 pm

Number 10 certainly applies to me. I just do not want a kid, because I am selfish with my time. A kid, from my perspective, would just be a waste of my time and resources.

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#7

Post by I REALLY HATE POKEMON! » Sat Dec 26, 2015 11:52 pm

The world has never been perfect but out of the last 100 years I'd say, aside from the Great Depression, this is pretty much the worst time for people in general. Probably among the most morally corrupt times of the country as well.

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#8

Post by Random User » Sat Dec 26, 2015 11:53 pm

I think the only major difference between now and then in terms of the human condition is that the internet allows us to be more aware of how awful we all are.

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#9

Post by Valigarmander » Sun Dec 27, 2015 3:27 am

I simply have no desire whatsoever to become a father. Even if I could afford it, I think it'd be irresponsible for me to spawn if it wasn't something I was 100% committed to.
[QUOTE="I REALLY HATE PRESENTS!, post: 1578858, member: 18119"]The world has never been perfect but out of the last 100 years I'd say, aside from the Great Depression, this is pretty much the worst time for people in general. Probably among the most morally corrupt times of the country as well.[/QUOTE]
I was about to type up a big post responding to this, but then I realized I don't want to derail this thread and have it end up 30 pages long and locked so I'll just post this instead.

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#10

Post by I REALLY HATE POKEMON! » Sun Dec 27, 2015 4:10 am

[QUOTE="Valigarmander, post: 1578864, member: 30663"]I was about to type up a big post responding to this, but then I realized I don't want to derail this thread and have it end up 30 pages long and locked so I'll just post this instead.

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#11

Post by I am nobody » Sun Dec 27, 2015 7:30 am

(Val's post was presumably going to be about how poverty, war, disease, etc, are all at all-time lows and appear otherwise only because 24-hour news wasn't a thing for 5,980/6,000 years of civilization)

My parents had me at 35/32 and didn't have my sister until three years later. Most people my age that I've met have similarly aged parents. I don't understand why it's shocking that we're not randomly having kids a decade earlier.

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#12

Post by CaptHayfever » Sun Dec 27, 2015 2:07 pm

Yeah, my parents were in their late-20s when they had me & their mid-30s when they had my little brother, & no one thought they were strange for it.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

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#13

Post by Marilink » Mon Dec 28, 2015 11:06 am

I could understand someone not wanting kids. Some of these reasons have echoed in my mind as well, though my wife and I most certainly want to raise a family.

What I do dislike, however, is the attitude of many people like the /r/childfree community or The Oatmeal that treats children and having children like some abhorrent mistake that no one should put themselves through. Sometimes among Millennials there seems to be this attitude of shaming anyone who chooses to have a kid, and they might even cite some of these reasons from this list. Sorry, but these reasons are personal, and they should remain as such.

There was this video shared on Facebook one time, maybe it was a Buzzfeed video, can't remember--"12 things you should say to your friends that have kids." Well, rest assured, every single thing that was spoken was something that no sensible human being would ever say to anyone they purportedly call their "friend." Things like "So, it sucks that you never get to have sex again, huh?" And "So while you're spending all your money on your kid, my girlfriend and I are thinking about traveling next month. Want to come? Oh...wait." The whole thing made my freaking blood boil. EDIT: Found it, and it's even worse than I remember. Actual quote from the video: "So have you realized your life is over, or has that not sunk in yet?" Holy ****. I want to **** chuck something.

Now obviously I'm not accusing anyone in this thread of such a thing, least of all the OP. I've just seen the kinds of things in this list used on the offensive, and that absolutely is not OK. If having a child means someone has to "Give up their career" or "Never travel again" or "Commit financial suicide," I know myself and many others who would gladly pay that price for a baby.

I have other thoughts about the topic of family, about Millennials in general, and specifically about the list shared by UN, but I'll leave it at this for now. Or maybe I'll just keep those to myself to not upset anyone.
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#14

Post by United Nations » Mon Dec 28, 2015 12:22 pm

[QUOTE="Marilincarnation, post: 1578996, member: 23215"]I could understand someone not wanting kids. Some of these reasons have echoed in my mind as well, though my wife and I most certainly want to raise a family.

What I do dislike, however, is the attitude of many people like the /r/childfree community or The Oatmeal that treats children and having children like some abhorrent mistake that no one should put themselves through. Sometimes among Millennials there seems to be this attitude of shaming anyone who chooses to have a kid, and they might even cite some of these reasons from this list. Sorry, but these reasons are personal, and they should remain as such.

There was this video shared on Facebook one time, maybe it was a Buzzfeed video, can't remember--"12 things you should say to your friends that have kids." Well, rest assured, every single thing that was spoken was something that no sensible human being would ever say to anyone they purportedly call their "friend." Things like "So, it sucks that you never get to have sex again, huh?" And "So while you're spending all your money on your kid, my girlfriend and I are thinking about traveling next month. Want to come? Oh...wait." The whole thing made my freaking blood boil. EDIT: Found it, and it's even worse than I remember. Actual quote from the video: "So have you realized your life is over, or has that not sunk in yet?" Holy ****. I want to ****ing chuck something.

Now obviously I'm not accusing anyone in this thread of such a thing, least of all the OP. I've just seen the kinds of things in this list used on the offensive, and that absolutely is not OK. If having a child means someone has to "Give up their career" or "Never travel again" or "Commit financial suicide," I know myself and many others who would gladly pay that price for a baby.

I have other thoughts about the topic of family, about Millennials in general, and specifically about the list shared by UN, but I'll leave it at this for now. Or maybe I'll just keep those to myself to not upset anyone.[/QUOTE]
Huh. I don't think I've ever seen the kid-shaming things before. That's so sad. People have a right to choose what they do in their lives...it goes both ways.

I love kids. I worked at a before and after school daycare for 3 years, I work with teenagers every day, I tutor, and I babysit all the time. I love it. They're so fun and I learn something new every day. I can definitely see why people would want to have them and the joy it would bring them and why it's worth the sacrifices.

I was brought up to believe in the church that children are a blessing of marriage. My pastor explained to Mr. UN and me why having kids was honoring God and why it's important to raise a family. I also understand this.

I just think having kids is not in my cards. Maybe in 5 years, when my life is steady and consistent, I'll change my mind. But I really don't see it happening. I plan on spoiling the crap out of my sister's kids and my brother-in-law's kids.

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#15

Post by Deku Tree » Mon Dec 28, 2015 12:43 pm

I find it really easy to be dismissive of anti-parenting sentiment. I get the reasons people are happy to have no kids, but anyone suggesting I should be less happy than if I didn't have my little girl simply doesn't know what they're talking about.

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#16

Post by Apiary Tazy » Mon Dec 28, 2015 8:09 pm

I know people who got married, had kids, and are living very well for themselves. I also know people who are planning to not have kids right now or ever. Having a child is a personal choice and it should stay that way.

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#17

Post by I REALLY HATE POKEMON! » Mon Dec 28, 2015 8:14 pm

People can decide for themselves but late 30's seems to be the right time since you're still relatively young but are experienced and hopefully established in life.

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