What rules of hospitality did you grow up with?

ScottyMcGee · #1

In my experience, I found that there are two kinds of families. There are those who do everything for the guest(s) and those who have the guest(s) do their own work.

My family is the former. Whenever even one person comes to the house, my parents and I have to vacuum everything, clean the bathrooms, make the beds, yada yada. During meals, they cook the food for everyone and also are the ones to clean up everyone's plate, put away the food, clean the dishes, etc. They very rarely harbor any negative reactions to guests not doing any of these. To them it's always been the "let's serve you like a hotel" hospitality. Like even when a friend of mine spills something my parents/family help clean it up.

Meanwhile, I've seen families on the complete opposite end. For example, my girlfriend's family. Her parents request that every guest clean their dishes after they eat, make the bed, etc, etc. If you spill something, then it's "your mess to deal with."

And I always found that interesting - how and why different families treat guests differently. I can't say for sure that it's a culture thing because it seems to me to be spread out within cultures to really pinpoint on that. Hispanic, American, European, Asian - I've seen them all mixed up. Or maybe it's the fact that I live in America that there doesn't seem to feel like there's an absolute guideline for how to treat your guest.

Regardless, I wonder how many people's families are which type.

I think there's also a third type which is complete indifference. I've been to one or two houses where families like to have people over but don't do ANY preparation whatsoever, not even in terms of food.

I am nobody · #2

Kind of a mix. We do all the standard cleaning and whatnot, but guests are still supposed to clean up their own messes and help where they can.

KhaieshaChai · #3

My family was similar to yours. I can't even count how many times I heard: "Your friend can't visit yet. We have to clean the house first!". When I'm the guest though, that kind of "hotel" service makes me uncomfortable. I prefer to take care of myself.

I REALLY HATE POKEMON! · #4

We never had a lot of guests but we generally were as hospitable as possible. I think it is rude to expect guests to do things unless you cannot do them yourself or you know them really well or something. Or you hate them.

#5

Complete indifference for me.

ScottyMcGee · #6

[QUOTE="Tazy Ten, post: 1525553, member: 19345"]Complete indifference for me.[/QUOTE]

When you have friends over your house are you one of those hosts who has no idea what to do next and when people ask you about food you just shrug and tell them to take whatever's in the fridge?

#7

We usually eat out.

The only time this isn't the case is when we make something like enchiladas, but that's usually so others can try Jenocide's recipe.

ScottyMcGee · #8

There's a friend I have who's a very welcoming host and at the same time a very indifferent, lazy host. He invites like 235253 people to his house but he doesn't actually plan for it. When I start feeling hungry he's like "I think we have cookies in the pantry."

United Nations · #9

I don't think having guests get things for themselves is being a "lazy" host. I think it's more like treating the guests like family. Especially if the guests are close friends. I think it just depends how comfortable the host is with the guests that are over. Whenever I went to my friends' houses as kids, it was always "grab anything you'd like." Same with my house. But if a teacher or someone came over, I think it's better to treat them with more "hospitality," as you say.

ScottyMcGee · #10

That's true, which is funny because that's how I was grown up - to see that as "lazy". When we have people over, it's a nervous rush of "What are we going to feed them? We have to make sure to have food. Call the pizza place in advance because it's a Friday, blah blah blah."

#11

As an Aussie, the guest had damn well better offer to help set up, make food, clean up, and so forth. Whether the host accepts such offer is not important. Anyone who shows up and just expects to be taken care of is going to be in for a hard time. On the flip side of that, if an offer to assist is met with refusal, no one will be happy to sit and do nothing while the host does everything.

Random User · #12

My family never really had guests that weren't other family. I am unsure as to how they would treat guests.

YouTube · #13

One-time guests, holiday guests, or relatives: Everything must be immaculate, & the guests can only help with things if they insist or ignore Mom & Dad's instructions to the contrary.

Close personal friends: Just make sure it's not a pigsty, & they can help with whatever they want to.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

DarkZero · #14

With guests, my family will clean up before they come over (nothing huge, mostly vacuuming, picking up junk, maybe dusting). But we generally don't have "guest" guests, more like people who come over and talk in the living room for an hour or two before leaving.

spooky scary bearatons · #15

eh the only guests i really have are close friends, so im more than happy to be lazy, and more than happy for them to do whatever provided they dont break stuff, leave mess, or urinate on all my cherished belongings. (my pc and wii u)

im a pretty easygoing guy tbf hahaha[DOUBLEPOST=1428208503,1428208291][/DOUBLEPOST][QUOTE="Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds, post: 1526557, member: 17429"]As an Aussie, the guest had damn well better offer to help set up, make food, clean up, and so forth. Whether the host accepts such offer is not important. Anyone who shows up and just expects to be taken care of is going to be in for a hard time. On the flip side of that, if an offer to assist is met with refusal, no one will be happy to sit and do nothing while the host does everything.[/QUOTE]

i love helping out if i am a guest but my close friends generally dont want me helping out because if it can smash, chances are i smashed it accidentally before even entering the house.

im not gonna lie, i kinda have a plate kill count.

this year it's 3 plates so far.