Regrets over college.

[RinkuTheFirst]

I'm currently unable to sleep. Tomorrow (Wednesday) is the first day of the semester for me.

Growing up, I was always praised for my intelligence. Always told that I'd be able to get into any college I wanted and that I'd never have to worry about paying for it. This was surprisingly true. I did well on my ACT and graduated at the top of my class. I wasn't applying to Yale or anything, but I was accepted by every school I shot an application. The money... was a bit harder to come by, but most schools offered me significant aid.

Ultimately, I ended up just going to a local university. It has the reputation of being only slightly better than the local community college (not that there is anything wrong with CC). I could whine and moan about the fact that my mother literally would not let me go to my dream school, despite the fact that I had a fantastic scholarship waiting there. She wouldn't let me go because she didn't want me to leave. I've had about five years to let this go, so it doesn't bother me all that much anymore. I can understand why my mother would be so reluctant to let her only child go.

Now, two of my younger cousins are in college. They're both living in dorms/apartments, in institutions hundreds of miles and several states away from their mother. It sounds childish, but I'm incredibly jealous. I commuted for my first year (awful experience that made me want to give up on college) and have lived in an off-campus apartment for the past three years. My school honestly has a mediocre reputation. My best friend in high school openly mocked me when I told him that I was going there.

I feel like I've missed out on the real college experience. I know, rationally, that I've probably made a more financially sound decision by going to my school. I know the schools my cousins go to run 30-50k a year, while mine is only about 8k per year. They're both smart kids and got scholarships to cover some of the cost, just like I did for my school. I just feel a bit jealous.

I also feel a bit down because this is the start of my fifth year of college. I've changed my major and minor several times, so I'm behind. I have at least a full semester's worth of classes that ended up being a complete waste credit-wise. My mother always asks me how much longer I'm going to be in school, and she always looks so disappointed when I tell her two semesters or however long it was at the time she asked. It honestly crushes my soul like nothing else to think she might be disappointed in me.

Ultimately, I know I shouldn't be so upset about this. I would have hated living in a dorm. I've met amazing friends and the love of my life because I went to the school I did. I almost certainly will have less debt than my cousins, simply because my school is cheaper. It's just the season is getting to me.

tl; dr: Slight regrets over not going to my dream school and jealousy at seeing my cousins go to theirs. It's irrational and I know I should be happy.

[spooky scary bearatons]

dw about being in college for a long time. I won't be graduating from the UK equiv until im 25 (im 21 right now) we all take our own time to do our **** at and the end of the day you're there for an education of your choosing.

[United Nations]

[QUOTE="Sonic 5, post: 1484718, member: 26922"]
Ultimately, I ended up just going to a local university. It has the reputation of being only slightly better than the local community college (not that there is anything wrong with CC). I could whine and moan about the fact that my mother literally would not let me go to my dream school, despite the fact that I had a fantastic scholarship waiting there. She wouldn't let me go because she didn't want me to leave. I've had about five years to let this go, so it doesn't bother me all that much anymore. I can understand why my mother would be so reluctant to let her only child go.

Now, two of my younger cousins are in college. They're both living in dorms/apartments, in institutions hundreds of miles and several states away from their mother. It sounds childish, but I'm incredibly jealous. I commuted for my first year (awful experience that made me want to give up on college) and have lived in an off-campus apartment for the past three years. My school honestly has a mediocre reputation. My best friend in high school openly mocked me when I told him that I was going there.

I also feel a bit down because this is the start of my fifth year of college. I've changed my major and minor several times, so I'm behind. I have at least a full semester's worth of classes that ended up being a complete waste credit-wise.[/QUOTE]

I've quoted the parts of this that have happened to me exactly. Like, I woke up and read this and thought, "Did I get super tired and make a thread last night?"

A couple things. I got accepted into 7 schools as well. Every one that I applied to I got in. My mother sabotaged my efforts to go to my dream school by hiding the letter because she didn't want me I go and she didn't want me to go into so much debt. I hated that woman for a long time for that. I was hurt. I went to community college to make her happy and to pay for my pre-requisite courses on my own. Then I applied for the college right next door to that because whatever fine I'll save money and be unhappy because I'd never seen my mom beg before.

I was so resentful. I've paid for everything myself to prove to my mother I could have done it at my dream school. I would watch all my friends post pictures of themselves in their dorms and meeting all kinds of people and I would get sooooo jealous. It would boil in me. At one point I almost broke up with my high school sweetheart because everything he said sounded like bragging to me. He got a free ride to the college of his dreams, even worse, to MY dream college. He was living MY dream.

I'm on my sixth year of college too. I still have a year to go. Switch my major and traveling slowed me down. I hate seeing pictures of my friends graduating.

Okay, so that's how we're similar. This is how I deal. I've forgiven my mother, but sometimes the anger will still come to the surface when I get really jealous of my friends. You have to remember that you saved lots of money by choosing what you did. When you graduate, you won't have nearly the amount of debt as other people. And those people that have their parents pay for everything, they'll never appreciate their education like you will. Seriously, you should be so proud that stuck through, commuted every day (which I know sucks so **** bad), lived at home, made less friends because commuters have the worst time making friends, paid a smaller fee, worked hard and still got good grades, while still working a job on on top of it. That's something to be so proud of! When you do finally graduate, just think of how proud you get to be of yourself. Commuter schools are definitely the tougher route when it comes to college.

As for being behind, there's no such thing. It's totally subjective. Different degrees take longer than others. I think commuting and working makes it harder to complete classes in a timely way too. But who cares? We're in school longer, and we're gaining more and more experience with work ethic and responsibility and stress before we're even in a salaried job. A lot of professions admire people who commute, work, and go to school because they know it takes dedication and hard work. It also shows how much you can juggle things and manage time. These are all super important lessons.

As for missing out on the college experience, just think about all things you would have missed if you hadn't gone to that school. Friends, experiences, and such. I know for me, I wouldn't have gone to Korea. I wouldn't have made the friends I've made. I wouldn't be so damn proud of myself for sticking to it. I wouldn't have figured out that I want to teach not just high school kids, but I want to teach English as a second language.

If you can't relate, go abroad. Seriously. It changed my life and my whole perspective of the college I chose to go to and how long it takes to graduate. After I went, I appreciated my school a lot more and I made lifelong friends. We traveled a new place together and I think that gives us a stronger bond than them being someone I met in a dorm.

I also joined a club for TESOL (teaching English to students of other languages) and I've made incredible friends there who share an interest of mine. They've all traveled and taught English abroad like I have and we have so many things to share.

Basically, to enjoy college, you have to make it your own. Everyone's experience is different but it doesn't or shouldn't ruin your experience knowing you went to a less famous school. Make what you can of it. Join a club, study abroad, take classes you want to take because they're cheaper. Make it YOUR college. I know it's hard and it's hard work and it's so easy to get jealous but you shouldn't get jealous. I'm very proud of you for picking the financially sound choice. I hope you can make the best of it, it takes patience. <3

[smol Kat]

Are you people secretly me????

All I really have to add is this: If I had lived on campus, I would have been happy in the short term, but not the long term. The money that I saved through work, scholarships, and loans by living at home all 4.5 years went toward a car. It cut down significantly on food costs, too- I was paying part of the rent, but it was still less than I would have paid for a meal plan. With my car, I could have my own life finally. So now, I'm happy for the long term.

Also commuting sucks even worse if you have to carpool/don't have your own car for the majority of your time in school.

And yeah, if you can go abroad you should. Don't feel like you have to do it while you're still in school, though- I plan on going to Prague for my TEFL certificate within the next couple years (whenever I have money again because it's like $2000 for four weeks and I'm currently living on about half that).

[Booyakasha]

Could wish I'd never bothered with college. I've been, and it wasn't something I could do with finishing. Rather a complete waste of time and money. Also where I acquired my taste for booze...go ahead, ask me if I'm happy about that sh*t.

[smol Kat]

^'snot for everyone.
...teehee, snot


Not everyone/every field needs a degree...a lot do.

[Marilink]

Instead of reading this post, go read UN's post a second time.

[Calamity Panfan]

I unliked UN's post so I could like it again.

[Deepfake]

The time you take to accomplish something will seem like old news once it's in the past. Patience isn't really on tap for the young, and it tends to be something you have too much of the older you get.

Do what you like and try not to think about it being a competition. At the end of all ends, only you will have lived your own life and you'll have done it completely, and nobody else can claim to have done the same. Sometimes being yourself is just what you need to do before you can feel comfortable making a decision. Attending a university, etc, that's all rushed on people who are younger than they realize.

And for what it's worth, even not going to college has perks that you can't necessarily get while attending school. It's all about how you apply your experience to get what you want, and not concerning yourself with what you can't change - the past.

I turned away from a fully paid scholarship just because even courses I might've chosen couldn't offer me the experience I needed to be happy: not attending school for the first time in 12 years. It was a huge relief and I don't regret it. With the time I might've spent in courses I taught myself a lot of things and more importantly I found my life in a completely foreign place. I got to make my own decisions without feeling any obligations outside of my own.

[ScottyMcGee]

The only regret I have about college is bringing in baggage as a freshman. By that I mean unfinished business with relationships. I don't suggest "breaking bridges" but definitely don't leave anything untied before entering. It will make you miss out on so much social fun while you were pining away.