OLD MAN YELLS AT CLOUD: where we complain about popular things in media we don't like to feel better about ourselves

[Booyakasha]

So I watched Kenneth Branagh's 'Henry V' yet again yesterday, and it remains a really good movie.

...I'd sort of forgotten about the scene before Hal and his homeys depart for France, when Hal arrests Cambridge, Grey and Scrope for treason.

You know, people call Branagh a ham, but his hamminess lends him a load of intensity. Hal flings Scrope, man. A king should be intense.

Man alive. Brian Blessed as Exeter, tearing the chains of office off the traitors, and then slapping Scrope's head right round. Brian Blessed's a real kodiak, man. I feel bad for the actor played Scrope. He looked a little surprised by the slap-------wonder if it was improvised. Must be like a punch from a mere mortal like us.

[CaptHayfever]

^It's nice to see Branagh be good at things. I just saw Artemis Fowl, & he wasn't good at that.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Booyakasha]

^Think Branagh has more hits than misses.

"Non Nobis et Te Deum" will never not be one of the most beautiful scenes in movie history.

...man. Kenneth Branagh was just twenty-six when he made 'Henry V', and it got him Oscar-nominated. What a champ.

[Booyakasha]

Man. You know, I rewatched Disney's 'Sleeping Beauty' last week whilst playing Legos with the kids, and it's not great, except Maleficent is rad (deep-voiced evil minx), and the faeries are a lot more fun and less lame than Princess Doofus and Prince Not-Appearing-In-This-Film, and, like, the last ten minutes of the flick make up one of the best action sequences Disney has ever made. It's so damned intense. It's like they made the rest of the movie so bland and forgettable that they knew they had to make up for it at the finish-line. It kind of works. I love Philip and the fae's collective 'oh, frig' face when they see the dragon. I love that Philip charges in anyway. I love that Merriweather tries to charge in, too, though Flora holds her back. I love when Philip clouts the beast one early on in the fight and it just goes 'errh'--------really plays to what a tough brawl it is. I love that moment when Maleficent hits Philip so hard it blasts the shield off his arm and spins him right round like a record, and the faeries have to mickey him up. I love Flora's little rhyme spell ('Now, Sword of Truth, fly swift and sure/That evil die and good endure!') Heck, I even like the dang horse, and I flippin hate horses. Always been terrified of 'em. [EDIT]Strange, how many fictional horses I like. The Unicorn, the ponies, Shadowmere and all. Traveler.]

I mean, don't get me wrong, 'Robin Hood', 'Sword in the Stone', 'Great Mouse Detective' and 'Jungle Book' will always be the faves, but I can work with a slow burn sometimes.

(EDIT: Disney could rock an action sequence, man. Like, I kind of forgot about the end of 'Snow White', too, where the dwarves all jump on deer and light out after the evil queen. I mean, when I think of Dopey, it's during the Silly Song, smiling gormlessly and snapping his fingers, flapping his ears and all, and it's easy to forget that like a half-hour later he's chasing Grimhilde down through the blinding rain, hollering for effing blood.)

(EDIT2:...of course. They're dwarves. If it was 'Snow White and the Ten Dwarves', the last three would have been called Gimli, Thorin and Tyrion.

(EDIT3: I love that Grumpy leads the chase. I mean, he took a little extra time to come around to Snow, but I think it made him like her extra. Also his expertise in grumpiness probably gives him an edge in vengeance-seeking not shared by the other six.

[Calamity Panfan]

As a director it feels like Branagh's Shakespeare stuff is head-and-shoulders above his mainstream Hollywood stuff. All his Shakespeare adaptations are rock solid, but like... Thor is only just okay. It's dull in parts but it also has some really fun moments. That Jack Ryan movie was a big ol' shrug. That Cinderella live action remake is one of the better Disney live action remakes, but it's not exactly reinventing the wheel there. It's fine. I never saw his Murder on the Orient Express even though it had that killer cast. Must've been enough of a success since he's doing another Poirot film. By all accounts Artemis Fowl is.... foul. So yeah, seems at best to be a perfectly cromulent director for Hollywood stuff, while he's great with Shakespeare.

As an actor though, he's great. His Gilderoy Lockhart in Chamber of Secrets is probably a top 5 Harry Potter portrayal. if we're being honest. He's a ton of fun. Also great as Sir Laurence Olivier in My Week with Marilyn. Wish he did a bit more. And hey, Road to El Dorado is an extremely underrated animated movie, and Branagh does some great voice work. Unfortunately he doesn't act much these days. Apparently he's in Tenet, though, which seems like it might be the first new movie to hit theaters in months and months. I've kind of soured on Chris Nolan's stuff as a whole, but he's always a director that makes movies worth seeing even if a lot of them are overrated (except The Prestige, easily his best work even though it gets maybe half the hype as Memento or The Dark Knight or Inception). I'm sure Branagh will be great there in however big a role he has.

[Booyakasha]

So I was talking to a co-worker roughly my age the other night. Just chattin as we were puttin up load, right, to pass the time of day. And I asked him what his favourite Mel Brooks movie was, and he couldn't think of one to save his life. Never saw 'Blazing Saddles', or 'Spaceballs'. I mean, it blew my dang mind. How does that even happen?!? Was he raised by Mormons, or Klingons? I mean, that's just bad parenting, man.

[EDIT: I mean, I've talked about Indiana Jones and 'Goonies' and 'Jaws' and Gremlins with this dude before. Presumably he would have seen Star Wars as well. So how is it possible he never saw 'Spaceballs'? I can't picture it.

[Booyakasha]

I've just been on NetFlix. I asked it for 'Blazing Saddles', and it didn't have it. It recommended 'Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull Crap', 'Ridiculous 6', and 'Inglourious Basterds'. Why not just go the whole nine and recommend cyanide, or self-immolation? Christ on a crutch, man.

[CaptHayfever]

Wait, Blazing Saddles isn't on Netflix anymore?

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Booyakasha]

I like it when a villain is just an absolute ratbag and he relishes it. Like, when when one of Bowser's henchmen refers to him to his face as 'Your Sleaziness' or 'Your Crumminess' as a sign of due deference, and he isn't at all bothered by it...that's charming to me. It's kind of a cute take on villainy-------the bad guy who just childishly delights in being mean, without actually wanting to be evil. That's pretty much Rita Repulsa's whole deal, and you get it with Captain Hook, too. Particularly in the Broadway version of 'Peter Pan'----------I love 'Captain Hook's Waltz', where he brags about being the slimiest, most indefensible cur ever, and his men absolutely adore him for it, even as he shoots a couple of them. There's an innocence. Like, later on he and his buccaneers learn that Wendy is going to be the Lost Boys' mother, and they plot to kidnap her. Not to hurt the Lost Boys, nor to do horrible things to her, but so Wendy can be their mother instead. It's so silly and adorable.

I love it when Skeletor berates Beastman, and Beastman just looks sad. It's sweet. Like, it's clear Beastman just wants to be loved. And like who doesn't love Skeletor's "I am not nice!" deal from the Christmas special. Learning about the holiday from the kids, and being so steeped in cartoonish villainy that he misunderstands the purpose of fun and presents and all.

The Jägers, man. They just want to tromp around being scary and kind of gross. Serving the Baron, eating bugs, yelling in Boris Badenov accents, shooting monsters with ridiculous death-rays. Drinking beer and all. And they all like and respect Agatha because she's nuts. That's fun villainy. The kind designed not to hurt anyone much.

(EDIT: In 'Santa Claus', the Devil threatens to make Pitch eat chocolate ice cream if he doesn't tempt the world's children into doing evil. Turns out even the Morning Star can be goofy.)

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

I don't know, Rita Repulsa was pretty evil. How many people could've, or did, die in those massive battles with explosions, lasers flying everywhere, giant robots being flung around. Absolute reckless endangerment at the very least.

[X-3]

MILLIONS DEAD

[Booyakasha]

Presumably there would have been loads of black armbands and flags at half-mast. There weren't. One must assume that people in Angel Grove just learned to keep their heads down around 3:30 every Thursday (or whatever time of the week Rita threw her stick).

Rita Repulsa's attitude far outstripped her aptitude. She loved being bad, the fun part of villainy. Clearly she just wasn't good at doing bad. Like, she loved smashing stuff. Fine. The Blast Corps love smashing stuff, too, and they are indisputably good guys, outside of my fanfiction. If Rita were indisputably evil, she'd have armies of Waffen-SS putties rounding up the civvies of Angel Grove and marching them out into the countryside to dig their own mass graves.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Incompetence isn't a great dispute of her evilness, but I'm still waiting for more if your Blast Corp fanfiction. Maybe Rita can make a guest appearance in a crossover.

[CaptHayfever]

Three words: Abandoned warehouse district.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Booyakasha]

Spoiler.

ramdozer, backlash, sideswipe, skyfall, thunderfist, the cyclone suit, j-bomb, ballista and the missile carrier get drunk and have inappropriate touching times with each other

meanwhile rita repulsa watches and pinches her own bum, cackling with delight

goldar wants to tell rita he loves her, but is held back by his crippling insecurities

amber kisses trini chastely on the forehead and tells her its gonna be okay, even though it really isn't-------- poor dear

somewhere in the distance, someone yells, "you runnin away or somethin?"

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Good old Goldar, man. He can do it.

[Booyakasha]

Man. I sure like 'Wanna Be Like You'. It's such a fun song, and I love Don Bluth's animation and character design, and like...when King Louie and Baloo dance and scat together even though they don't really like each other. I love the monkeys, and Mowgli, and Bags sneaking around. The monks and Baloo and King Louie all chasing around after Mowgs towards the end, and Baloo tickling Louie while he's tring to hold up the ruins. It's just a great scene.

Disney...you know, of all the movies not to putz about with, 'Jungle Book' was a big one. They've tried live-action biz once, twice, thricet, now, and it don't work. So maybe knock it the hell off, now.

(EDIT: Shere Khan is so damn baller, man. Such quiet confident villainy. I love him.

(EDIT2: Man alive. Don Bluth is so great at facial expressions. What a champ.)

[Booyakasha]

So I'm watchin this Rifftrax Shorts compilation DVD. The short in question is about clarks helping customers find what they're lookin for, even when the customers don't entirely know themselves what they want. So Kevin, riffing a customer, goes 'Me want thing!!' like an imbecile, and it's so damn funny and relatable I almost spit-take all over myself.

I love these guys.

[Booyakasha]

NO but I really should. It was already gorgeous and can only have gotten better from there.

I get so emotional about the line “how dare you come to me now, when I am this”. What a good **** movie and I still need to finish the book

Sorry to continue this conversation decades later. Did you ever finish the book?

Beagle recently released his unfinished original take on 'The Last Unicorn' (the Unicorn's comrade on her journey is a two-headed demon. There's no Schmendrick, or Molly Grue. It ends about a quarter into the story). He also knocked out a sequel novella, which made me cry so hard I couldn't breathe. 'Two Hearts'. You should check them out, my pal. The former is interesting----------the latter, heartbreaking. Give em a chancet.

[Apollo the Just]

NO im horrible at finishing stuff and i kept that on the eternal backburner. god i should though. just about the kind of read i could use right now i think.