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Heroine of the Dragon gave me the Thingy plus an extra large bag of marshmallows. I take the Thingy and teleport it to a random area.

Goblin Ninja: Wait, How come you did that? Wouldn't it be better if you kept it?

GF7:It's more fun this way. Now stop bothering me! I'm trying to eat my marshmallows!

DR.Death: so speed how do you like my sweet pad
speed racer: its alright i could go for some nachos though
DR.Death: same here minion! summon up me and my pal here 1 large bowl of nachos and a keg of soda with
Minion: right away sir *summons then leaves the room*
DR.Death: ah this is the life *flips on plasma screen tv*
speed racer: this is a weird nacho
DR.Death: whoa don't eat that! its a thingy i haven't seen one of these in forever
speed racer: well i know what that means so ima scram before someone comes to kill you and take that
DR.Death see ya later then *puts thingy underneath sofa*

Val eats the sofa and promptly regurgitates the Thingy.

He then hides it in the Library of Congress, where IT WILL NEVER BE FOUND.

I look it up in the registry, take it and a copy of the Necronomicon out, and hide in the actual Congress.

I go to Congress and shout, "Look! A naked woman with a keg of beer!"

You are the only one who jumps up and looks, seeing as the rest of Congress reproduces asexually. I beat you up and take the Thingy, and hide it in an ordinary can of chili beans.

(i.e. I'm making chili right now and I can't be original.)

I throw the can off a cliff. I don't bother to take the thingy, but months later I find it in a suddenly appearing hole in my backyard. I chill with the thingy.

You chill so much you freeze. I take the thingy and go to the local disco.

Disco dies. Then you die. George Carlin dies. George W. Bush dies. James dies. I take the Thingy.

I eat you and the moon, and the thingy comes out my nose.

That was my stunt double I steal the thingy back and go to The Twilght Zone.

The Twilight Zone blows up, and the thingy pops out of my little gopher hole.

Oh, and your stunt double was tasty.

I bribe the gopher into giving me the Thingy and go to the Satellite of Love from MST3K.

Love is overrated, so you blow up. I take the thingy and go to Pluto.

Pluto doesn't exist anymore.

I take the Thingy from Pluto (or where it originally was) and then suddenly something hits me

GF7: If Pluto's gone, what happened to Vapor and his main base on Pluto?

Ridley: We destroyed it, remember?

GF7: I remember, but I thought he would've rebuilt it. lets just get out of here.

As you start to leave you are hit by a passing comet and pass out. I fly by in my space ship a snatch the Thingy. Then I fly to Mars.

Mars has no air and your head asplodes. I take the thingy and tie it to jailbreakers face.

I kidnap jailbreaker and keep him in a small room with only bread and water once a day.

I blow up jailbreaker and take the thingy and give it to Mushman.