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I challenge you! I never really got to battle you.

I will be using Weegee.

You post first and you pick the arena.

I have always wanted to painfully destroy Weegee.

If you insist...

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It was a dry, painfully hot day in the wheat fields of some midwestern place, USA. As the sun sat near the top of the sky at high noon, a shining man of steel walked through the field of wheat, ripping unique patterns through it which would soon be blamed on aliens. Unlike aliens, however, Metal Man was human--and covered in armor that would be de facto in a certain offshoot of the Earth's history.

None of that mattered, though, as he picked through the brush, holding his trusty, if not ironic, Soviet sidearm, a TT-33 from a long time ago and a war that ended inconclusively, having never truly warmed up. Feeling the same sort of mix of warm and cold inside his conditioned suit, the suspicious man saw a rustling in the bush and levelled his pistol at it.

"Who goes there... and who's gonna die today?"

An eerie laugh shook the wheat field as a murder of crows took this sign as a good time to fly away.

The head of a strange, green garbed man popped out slowly from the wheat. It revealed itself to the Metal Man (lol).

"..."

Metal Man held the pistol to the person's face.

"Yes, who are you? And what do you want?" Metal Man asked.

"..." Weegee stared.

Metal Man narrowed his eyes. Silence swept the field. Weegee's eyes shone and he dissapeared back into the wheat. Metal Man was shocked at the speed of the fellow and shot a bullet, but missed. Weegee was suddenly behind Metal Man. Metal Man turned and saw the slightly short man in full view.

"Ah, it's Weegee. What a pleasure meeting you. I've heard alot about you. I've always wanted to crush you."

Weegee stared back.

OOC: Ironically, you are the first person to roleplay Metal Man for me who hasn't totally botched it up. Creepy.

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"Now let's see... how about..."

His sentence was cut short, as Weegee teleported again. Metal Man put a hand to his shiny chin, in the process making a hideous metallic grinding noise due to the rough metal-on-metal contact it made. He shined in the sun, unlike Weegee.

"Well, if you always teleport, I can't hit you with anything normal."

He snickered like a crazed chain-smoker.

"I guess I'll have to get out my other bag of tricks then."

Weegee warped pre-emptively as another tentative gunshot missed him. Metal Man took out a microphone, unimpressed.

"Well, there's a problem. Even you, Weegee, have ears." He turned on the microphone. A hideous feedback noise echoed through the open countryside. "And you're one of those extradimensional thingummy-whats... so... I'm going to give you a taste of your own medicine. Mwa ha ha ha ha."

Weegee stared. Unfortunately for Weegee, Metal Man did not explode or turn into another Weegee. One could say the staring was uneffective against an equally mad, extradimensional being.

Instead, this would be much like when Weegee encountered other insane beings--perhaps the viewing of this battle would be worse for those who saw it than those in it because of it.

Metal Man cracked out some notes and then some familiar rock music began playing. Impending auditory destruction was warned by an evil solo followed by Metal Man's vocal chords clicking and then being heard... amplified 1000 times higher than they should have been.

o/` WE BUILT THIS CITY... WE BUILT MR. WALTER MITTY ON BLOCK AND MOLD!!! BUILT THIS CITY... WE BUILT THIS DITTY ON ROCK-FILLED ROLLS!!!!

SAAAAAVE YOUR PEPPERONI, POGOSIZE MAH FAAAAAAAAACEEEE!!!! PAY YOUR AUNT DOLLARS TO THE FAAAAAAAAACE... KNEE DEEP IN OOMPA LOOMPA, SINKING UNDER THE CHOCOLATE LAAAAACE...

TOO MANY BUM RAILWAYS EATING UP THE LIGHTS....

MACARONI SLAYS THE MAMBO, GLISTENING RADIOS, PWNT THIS DECEMBER,
WE BUILT THIS CITY, ATE THIS MITTY, ON RAAAAAWK AND RAAAAAAAAAHLLLLLLAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! `\o

The ground rumbled and cracked. Metal Man, having ripped a portal to another dimension with his ethereally bad singing, causing the wheat to spontaneously die, birds to fall from the sky and explode, and clouds to form as the earth trembled and burned around him. If Weegee had any capability of hearing, or even if he didn't, the sheer sound waves would shove him head-first into a tree, which would then fall into a newly opened rift into the earth, sending Weegee falling into a horrific rock n' roll lava flow.

But in case that wasn't enough... Metal Man coughed up for a moment, then clutched the microphone. "Come and get me, you doppelganger! I edged you out as president of NC... I know you'll try to come back for me! I'm gonna get chu!"

Weegee remembered that fateful election.

Metal Man wrote:Ironically, squid was correct anyway. Weegee is not allowed due to being too similar to Luigi, and the fact Luigi's CM replied first to the nomination topic.

...

...As much as I was looking forward to attacking Weegee's politics. :p

Metal Man got him kicked out... tecnically, it was Luigi, but no time for semantics. If Weegee could feel sandess, a tear would've been welling in his tear duct now. Weegee bounded up the rocks flowing down the lava flow, dodging to avoid getting 4th degree burns. Metal Man held the microphone in hand, preparing for another solo if he had to, mut Weegee swiftly "teleported" through the field and clutched the lower end of the mic stand. Metal Man tried to wrench it back, but the stand didn't even budge, and Metal Man ended up spraining his shoulder. He staggered back.

"Ah, son of a bitch. I can't believe I left my Icy Hot home."

Weegee slowly moved his head upwards until he was directly eyeballing the microphone itself. The microphone dissipated into a small gray cloud of dust that flew away into the horizon. Metal Man swung his sidearm at Weegee's head. but Weegee ducked and Green Tornadoed himself at Meral Man. His head hit the shimmering metal point-blank in the center and Metal Man ricocheted back, and was flung into a patch of somehow still remaining wheat.

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Ooc: MM has silver armor and eyeholes in his helmet, right?

Unbenownst to Weegee, the Metal Man who muttered the uncharacteristic statement had been a delusionary image. For in the instant he had gone to take the mike stand from ol' blood and steel, he was SMAAAASHEd in the forehead with the mike and got one hell of a concussion.

Weegee muttered utter gibberish, thinking he had succeeded and then, on top of that, disintegrated the microphone with his mind. Instead Weegee beheld a much worse sight--as his concussion went away, there was Metal Man, pointing a gun straight into his face.

"Ow! You sonuva..." His shoulder HAD been wrenched, but the microphone had gone nowhere. Bracing the stand, Metal Man swung the mike at Weegee's head. Weegee ducked and Green Tornadoed the Metal Man, although it was not just Metal Man who felt pain this time--Weegee's fleshy fists felt the pain of smacking into steel at inhuman speeds. When the spinning was over, Metal Man was staggering drunkenly near the remaining patch of wheat, and Weegee's once white hands were now soaked in blood. HIS blood.

The armored cyborg stood up, battered and bruised, but not beaten, as he pointed the microphone at Weegee. "A fair fight, but youuu don't know true pain yet, icebox licker!" Icebox what? Clearly, Metal Man had been drinking. Or crunking. Or... ...before the sentence could be finished, Metal Man activated the more modern features of his suit, firing twin fragmentation grenades to either side of Weegee and causing a ton of explosive force to both threaten Weegee with burning and crushing, as well as hurling shrapnel everywhere.

While this went on, Metal Man chucked the mike away and then took out twin silver pistols, loading them and then waiting patiently... ...and then spinning around, expecting Weegee to instantly teleport behind him.

OOC: