NLBFT 12: The First Round Beckons
- Inferno Dragon
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^this. kargath shouldn't have said "You both lose. It's just that one of you happened to lose a little less." that was completely uncalled for.
and if he isn't uniform in the "unoriginality" part of the judgings with other "copycat characters" and it's just my battle... then I'm going to be pissed. I'll hold my reactions until his final judgement.
and if he isn't uniform in the "unoriginality" part of the judgings with other "copycat characters" and it's just my battle... then I'm going to be pissed. I'll hold my reactions until his final judgement.
beware the power of Bahamut\'s eldest son.
X-3 Vs MC Mushi Mo
Some potential present here, but mostly it went unrealised.
It should be noted that a mechanical method change took place when judging this battle. This makes this and all future battles under this system not fit for score comparison with the two ones I have posted previously.
Narrative - General (3.5 Points)
X-3: 1.3625
MC Mushi Mo: 1.77
The fight itself felt a bit plain in terms of narrative. This went for both of you.
X-3's character choice limited him here. There' not much character development you can do with a bear.
MC did well to inject extra backstory into the whole situation. Experiment escaping from captors is pretty cliche, however. (Having Bobby's laser randomly fail was kinda interesting, though.)
Both of you didn't really respond to damage taken either. If a bear nearly crushed MY arm I know I'd react more, and if my leg was carved up by a laser I'd have trouble standing. Why didn't either of you have the electricity really negatively affect Bobby, either? His muscles should have spasmed when getting shocked, and electrical equipment should really get fried by excess current.
Writing - Technique (4 Points)
X-3: 1.625
MC Mushi Mo: 1.833
This was an interesting flip around from the previous battle I posted judgement on.
There were minor spelling mistakes in both of your pieces, but they weren't common enough to really detract from your scores.
X-3, your writing was mostly decent technically, but you failed to provide enough description in many places. Your description of the battlefield was totally lacking. Where'd that town come from? For that matter, what is the ground like?
Mushi had about the same level of technical competency, but provided more description and so gains some extra points. The description was a bit bland in places, but it still helped the posts.
Narrative - Originality (0.5 Point)
X-3: 0.1
MC Mushi Mo: 0.03
Both the character designs and the moves performed were nothing really new to me. MC got some initial points for the straightjacket-by-choice, but those points averaged to a negligible amount as time went on.
X-3's major boost came from when he had his bear eat its own ear. Bonus point injection, and eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Narrative - Gradient And Scaling (1 Point)
X-3: 0.73
MC Mushi Mo: 0.8
Mostly scaled well, but there were instances for the both of you where the jump was a bit too steep - namely the arm-crush and the laser to the leg. Mushi's score was higher here since X-3's arm crush had already raised the scale.
Misc - Fuzz Point (1 Point)
X-3: 0
MC Mushi Mo: 0
I found nothing that did not fit the above categories.
General comments:
Some potential was present here, but I found the general experience a bit lacking.
Final Score:
X-3: 3.8175
MC Mushi Mo: 4.433
I am finding this method of judging very time-consuming. As it stands I probably won't even finish up until the essential battles by this evening. The choice is now up to you people. Do you prefer me giving this detailed feedback, even though it may delay Round Two by a day or two? Do you prefer me to abandon this system, cut down the feedback, and just give a single number score? It's up to you. I'll still be working on the next one, but I hope that people will give an opinion on the speed/quality division soon.
Some potential present here, but mostly it went unrealised.
It should be noted that a mechanical method change took place when judging this battle. This makes this and all future battles under this system not fit for score comparison with the two ones I have posted previously.
Narrative - General (3.5 Points)
X-3: 1.3625
MC Mushi Mo: 1.77
The fight itself felt a bit plain in terms of narrative. This went for both of you.
X-3's character choice limited him here. There' not much character development you can do with a bear.
MC did well to inject extra backstory into the whole situation. Experiment escaping from captors is pretty cliche, however. (Having Bobby's laser randomly fail was kinda interesting, though.)
Both of you didn't really respond to damage taken either. If a bear nearly crushed MY arm I know I'd react more, and if my leg was carved up by a laser I'd have trouble standing. Why didn't either of you have the electricity really negatively affect Bobby, either? His muscles should have spasmed when getting shocked, and electrical equipment should really get fried by excess current.
Writing - Technique (4 Points)
X-3: 1.625
MC Mushi Mo: 1.833
This was an interesting flip around from the previous battle I posted judgement on.
There were minor spelling mistakes in both of your pieces, but they weren't common enough to really detract from your scores.
X-3, your writing was mostly decent technically, but you failed to provide enough description in many places. Your description of the battlefield was totally lacking. Where'd that town come from? For that matter, what is the ground like?
Mushi had about the same level of technical competency, but provided more description and so gains some extra points. The description was a bit bland in places, but it still helped the posts.
Narrative - Originality (0.5 Point)
X-3: 0.1
MC Mushi Mo: 0.03
Both the character designs and the moves performed were nothing really new to me. MC got some initial points for the straightjacket-by-choice, but those points averaged to a negligible amount as time went on.
X-3's major boost came from when he had his bear eat its own ear. Bonus point injection, and eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Narrative - Gradient And Scaling (1 Point)
X-3: 0.73
MC Mushi Mo: 0.8
Mostly scaled well, but there were instances for the both of you where the jump was a bit too steep - namely the arm-crush and the laser to the leg. Mushi's score was higher here since X-3's arm crush had already raised the scale.
Misc - Fuzz Point (1 Point)
X-3: 0
MC Mushi Mo: 0
I found nothing that did not fit the above categories.
General comments:
Some potential was present here, but I found the general experience a bit lacking.
Final Score:
X-3: 3.8175
MC Mushi Mo: 4.433
I am finding this method of judging very time-consuming. As it stands I probably won't even finish up until the essential battles by this evening. The choice is now up to you people. Do you prefer me giving this detailed feedback, even though it may delay Round Two by a day or two? Do you prefer me to abandon this system, cut down the feedback, and just give a single number score? It's up to you. I'll still be working on the next one, but I hope that people will give an opinion on the speed/quality division soon.
Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?
-Clifford Stoll
-Clifford Stoll
- Wyborn
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Keep up the feedback but make it more based on impressions. The in-depth analysis is very nice and the recommendations you give are to be applauded for utility, but we need to move along.
Help me out with the best fanfiction ever, Ganondorf Beats Up EVERYONE! You decide who gets beaten!
For the battle-minded and mathematically inclined, there's the Hyrulian War, a revived time-honored tradition!
For the battle-minded and mathematically inclined, there's the Hyrulian War, a revived time-honored tradition!
- Inferno Dragon
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I am currently grading each post under the first four categories.
I then average over the posts to get a final score for each category. That's where much of the decimals come from.
It helps me progress a lot faster than the more ad-hoc method from my first two published judgings.
Wyborn, Acradius, your fight is next up for posting, due Acradius being the next in line at the topic start.
[L007 vs Erdawn] and [Vapor vs Bartman] will be polished and posted last, due to the victors being known by default.
I then average over the posts to get a final score for each category. That's where much of the decimals come from.
It helps me progress a lot faster than the more ad-hoc method from my first two published judgings.
Wyborn, Acradius, your fight is next up for posting, due Acradius being the next in line at the topic start.
[L007 vs Erdawn] and [Vapor vs Bartman] will be polished and posted last, due to the victors being known by default.
Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?
-Clifford Stoll
-Clifford Stoll
Wyborn Vs Acradius
Yves Klein Blue's "Polka" came up on iTunes just as I was finishing judging the individual posts. It rambles on about "Jimmy said ride the snake" and "the whispering neon lights", and I thought "this is a an awesomestyrene lid on an awesome bucket full of awesome".
Narrative - General (3.5 Points)
Wyborn: 2.92
Acradius: 2.69
What's this? Well defined, good reasons from each fighter as to why they are in combat? Excellent.
If this had gone on for longer, the score would have been much more even, but Wyborn was boosted up by an absolutely stellar introductory post.
Writing - Technique (4 Points)
Wyborn: 3.29
Acradius: 2.68
Both your posts were nice to read. Acradius, your posts were generally very good, but there were some rocky patches. Some sentences could use reworking of their description ("psionically-assisted leap off the shrine-styled casino"). You also put "absurd" in absurd places. The last thing I can think of is that you delayed giving his hair colour until your second post.
Wyborn, your first post sang. The sentence flow was spot-on, you managed to introduce all your character's main features with rhythm ... I grinned all the way through it. Your later posts faltered in places in terms of flow, but the description was still very good throughout.
A minor note: Consider your audience. I had to look up what a "Louisville slugger" was. Remember that two of the judges are Australian, and although one is married to an American and one lived in America for several years, clarifying language wouldn't hurt much.
You also made some minor spelling mistakes. "slate"!="slake", even though Las Vegas is pretty rockin'.
Narrative - Originality (0.5 Point)
Wyborn: 0.167
Acradius: 0.267
Heroin as a weapon, getting over wounds (and drugs!) by simply waiting them out, the reveal of the man as Vegas itself and the Time Warrior's turning of that around against Vegas ... THIS is the kind of thing I want to see. The absolute best bit though was in Acradius's introductory post where he completely screwed with the reader's sense of locality by using the casino-shrine.
Narrative - Gradient And Scaling (1 Point)
Wyborn: 1
Acradius: 1
Well-scaled from the both of you. Normally, shooting someone would be pretty extreme, but Wyborn gets off because the first time he allowed Acradius to specify where it hit, if at all, and the second time it was the final post.
Misc - Fuzz Point (1 Point)
Wyborn: 0
Acradius: 0
Same story as the other judgings.
General comments:
The fact that one of you has to go makes me shake my fist at gambling and luck in general. :(
Final Score:
Wyborn: 7.377
Acradius: 6.637
Yves Klein Blue's "Polka" came up on iTunes just as I was finishing judging the individual posts. It rambles on about "Jimmy said ride the snake" and "the whispering neon lights", and I thought "this is a an awesomestyrene lid on an awesome bucket full of awesome".
Narrative - General (3.5 Points)
Wyborn: 2.92
Acradius: 2.69
What's this? Well defined, good reasons from each fighter as to why they are in combat? Excellent.
If this had gone on for longer, the score would have been much more even, but Wyborn was boosted up by an absolutely stellar introductory post.
Writing - Technique (4 Points)
Wyborn: 3.29
Acradius: 2.68
Both your posts were nice to read. Acradius, your posts were generally very good, but there were some rocky patches. Some sentences could use reworking of their description ("psionically-assisted leap off the shrine-styled casino"). You also put "absurd" in absurd places. The last thing I can think of is that you delayed giving his hair colour until your second post.
Wyborn, your first post sang. The sentence flow was spot-on, you managed to introduce all your character's main features with rhythm ... I grinned all the way through it. Your later posts faltered in places in terms of flow, but the description was still very good throughout.
A minor note: Consider your audience. I had to look up what a "Louisville slugger" was. Remember that two of the judges are Australian, and although one is married to an American and one lived in America for several years, clarifying language wouldn't hurt much.
You also made some minor spelling mistakes. "slate"!="slake", even though Las Vegas is pretty rockin'.
Narrative - Originality (0.5 Point)
Wyborn: 0.167
Acradius: 0.267
Heroin as a weapon, getting over wounds (and drugs!) by simply waiting them out, the reveal of the man as Vegas itself and the Time Warrior's turning of that around against Vegas ... THIS is the kind of thing I want to see. The absolute best bit though was in Acradius's introductory post where he completely screwed with the reader's sense of locality by using the casino-shrine.
Narrative - Gradient And Scaling (1 Point)
Wyborn: 1
Acradius: 1
Well-scaled from the both of you. Normally, shooting someone would be pretty extreme, but Wyborn gets off because the first time he allowed Acradius to specify where it hit, if at all, and the second time it was the final post.
Misc - Fuzz Point (1 Point)
Wyborn: 0
Acradius: 0
Same story as the other judgings.
General comments:
The fact that one of you has to go makes me shake my fist at gambling and luck in general. :(
Final Score:
Wyborn: 7.377
Acradius: 6.637
Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?
-Clifford Stoll
-Clifford Stoll
-----------------------------------------------------------
Selene Vs T3hDarkness
My writeup is shorter for this one. Time marches on, and there wasn't much to fuel this judgement.
Narrative - General (3.5 Points)
Selene: 2.68
T3hDarkness: 2.87
It's good to see another fight with a backstory. T3h worked his post in well, and the addition of a coup about to take place was very interesting.
Writing - Technique (4 Points)
Selene: 2.9
T3hDarkness: 2.8
Your first post had a lot of disjointed sentences, Selene. Commas seemed to be randomly dropped into sentences, and sentences that should have been seperate were forced together into one. The second post was improved, however.
Small grammar errors took away from your score, T3h. Furthermore, please stop abusing adverbs. Sometimes less is more.
Narrative - Originality (0.5 Point)
Selene: 0.05
T3hDarkness: 0.05
Nothing much here from either of you.
Narrative - Gradient And Scaling (1 Point)
Selene: 1
T3hDarkness: 1 (by default)
Nothing sharp, since there was no real back-and-forth yet.
Misc - Fuzz Point (1 Point)
Selene: 0
T3hDarkness: 0
Same again.
General comments:
The length was
-bad because nothing really got to happen
-good because it was really quick to judge
Final Score:
Selene: 6.63
T3hDarkness: 6.72
It's nearly 3 in the morning and I simply can't afford this time drain anymore. So here's the short versions so you can get going:
Phenom Vs Kirbyboy
(incompatible for score comparison with other matches due to different (heuristic) method)
Final Score:
Phenom: 7
Kirbyboy: 5.975
Erdawn Vs L007
Final Score:
Erdawn: Withdrew
L007: Won by default
Vapor Vs Bartman
Final Score:
Vapor: Won by default
Bartman: Withdrew
Selene Vs T3hDarkness
My writeup is shorter for this one. Time marches on, and there wasn't much to fuel this judgement.
Narrative - General (3.5 Points)
Selene: 2.68
T3hDarkness: 2.87
It's good to see another fight with a backstory. T3h worked his post in well, and the addition of a coup about to take place was very interesting.
Writing - Technique (4 Points)
Selene: 2.9
T3hDarkness: 2.8
Your first post had a lot of disjointed sentences, Selene. Commas seemed to be randomly dropped into sentences, and sentences that should have been seperate were forced together into one. The second post was improved, however.
Small grammar errors took away from your score, T3h. Furthermore, please stop abusing adverbs. Sometimes less is more.
Narrative - Originality (0.5 Point)
Selene: 0.05
T3hDarkness: 0.05
Nothing much here from either of you.
Narrative - Gradient And Scaling (1 Point)
Selene: 1
T3hDarkness: 1 (by default)
Nothing sharp, since there was no real back-and-forth yet.
Misc - Fuzz Point (1 Point)
Selene: 0
T3hDarkness: 0
Same again.
General comments:
The length was
-bad because nothing really got to happen
-good because it was really quick to judge
Final Score:
Selene: 6.63
T3hDarkness: 6.72
It's nearly 3 in the morning and I simply can't afford this time drain anymore. So here's the short versions so you can get going:
Phenom Vs Kirbyboy
(incompatible for score comparison with other matches due to different (heuristic) method)
Final Score:
Phenom: 7
Kirbyboy: 5.975
Erdawn Vs L007
Final Score:
Erdawn: Withdrew
L007: Won by default
Vapor Vs Bartman
Final Score:
Vapor: Won by default
Bartman: Withdrew
Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?
-Clifford Stoll
-Clifford Stoll
- Galefore
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- Location: ur wildest dreems lol
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And now you know what happens when I revise a post before actually putting it up. e_e;Kargath wrote: Your first post had a lot of disjointed sentences, Selene. Commas seemed to be randomly dropped into sentences, and sentences that should have been seperate were forced together into one. The second post was improved, however.
\"What if nothing means anything? What if nothing really matters?.....
...Or suppose <b><i>EVERYTHING</b></i> matters. Which would be worse?\"
-Calvin
\"Joke \'em if they can\'t take a f$%k.\"
...Or suppose <b><i>EVERYTHING</b></i> matters. Which would be worse?\"
-Calvin
\"Joke \'em if they can\'t take a f$%k.\"
- Wyborn
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Yessir...Acradius wrote:Well, I can't say I expected a different outcome, but I'm pretty proud of myself for how well I did. Wyborn, you had better go and win this dammit.
Help me out with the best fanfiction ever, Ganondorf Beats Up EVERYONE! You decide who gets beaten!
For the battle-minded and mathematically inclined, there's the Hyrulian War, a revived time-honored tradition!
For the battle-minded and mathematically inclined, there's the Hyrulian War, a revived time-honored tradition!
- Galefore
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- Location: ur wildest dreems lol
Scores:
Winner’s names are bolded.
ALPHA DIVISION:
Luigi 007: Won By Default
Erdawn: Withdrew
Phenom: 7.1 + 7 + 7 = 21.1
KirbyBoy: 5.7 + 8 + 6 = 19.7
Sarai: 6.5 + 7 + 6.6 = 20.1
TD: 5.5 + 5 + 6.7 = 17.2
Inferno: 1.7 + 5.1 + 3 = 9.8
Tazy: 2.1 + 5 + 4 = 11.1
BETA DIVISION:
Galefore: 6.2 + 7 + 5.59 = 18.79
Lycrios: 5.4 + 7 + 5.5 = 17.9
X-3: 5 + 3.8 + 5 = 13.8
Mushi: 6.3 + 6 + 4.4 = 16.7
Wyborn: 7.8 + 9 + 7.3 = 24.1
Acradius: 7.7 + 7 + 6.6 = 21.3
Vapor: Won by default.
Bartman: Withdrew
Round 2 Matchups:
Luigi 007 vs. Phenom
Sarai vs. Tazy
Galefore vs. Mushi
Wyborn vs. Vapor
Winner’s names are bolded.
ALPHA DIVISION:
Luigi 007: Won By Default
Erdawn: Withdrew
Phenom: 7.1 + 7 + 7 = 21.1
KirbyBoy: 5.7 + 8 + 6 = 19.7
Sarai: 6.5 + 7 + 6.6 = 20.1
TD: 5.5 + 5 + 6.7 = 17.2
Inferno: 1.7 + 5.1 + 3 = 9.8
Tazy: 2.1 + 5 + 4 = 11.1
BETA DIVISION:
Galefore: 6.2 + 7 + 5.59 = 18.79
Lycrios: 5.4 + 7 + 5.5 = 17.9
X-3: 5 + 3.8 + 5 = 13.8
Mushi: 6.3 + 6 + 4.4 = 16.7
Wyborn: 7.8 + 9 + 7.3 = 24.1
Acradius: 7.7 + 7 + 6.6 = 21.3
Vapor: Won by default.
Bartman: Withdrew
Round 2 Matchups:
Luigi 007 vs. Phenom
Sarai vs. Tazy
Galefore vs. Mushi
Wyborn vs. Vapor
- Wyborn
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Roar.
Help me out with the best fanfiction ever, Ganondorf Beats Up EVERYONE! You decide who gets beaten!
For the battle-minded and mathematically inclined, there's the Hyrulian War, a revived time-honored tradition!
For the battle-minded and mathematically inclined, there's the Hyrulian War, a revived time-honored tradition!
- Metal Man
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I will be watching closely... I wish to fight the champion (in another topic, of course) when it's all over, mainly because my trip ate up the time I would have had to fight anyway.
Also, Wyborn isn't that bad... ... sorta.
Also, Wyborn isn't that bad... ... sorta.
Super Smash Quest: Fighting evil since 2002.
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Sarai Comments:
You realise that if you'd beaten Vapor, you'd have wound up having to face one or the other anyways, right?MC Mushi Mo wrote:Right now, I'm thanking God I didn't get Wyborn, and clawing my eyes out over getting Galefore.
\"What if nothing means anything? What if nothing really matters?.....
...Or suppose <b><i>EVERYTHING</b></i> matters. Which would be worse?\"
-Calvin
\"Joke \'em if they can\'t take a f$%k.\"
...Or suppose <b><i>EVERYTHING</b></i> matters. Which would be worse?\"
-Calvin
\"Joke \'em if they can\'t take a f$%k.\"