The worst reviews. (2)

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#81

Post by Antisocial » Wed Nov 05, 2003 6:29 pm

Wow.

...What really interests me about this topic is its mystic nature; you can't discern whether someone's typing a facetious bad review for total irony, using pessimism in regards to the topic rules, or their actual opinion.

Sweet.

Metroid

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Never played the game. Therefore, it must suck. ;)

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#82

Post by Codiekitty » Thu Nov 06, 2003 1:42 am

Fire Emblem

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

THIS GAME IS ONE BIG SHINING FORCE RIPOFF EVEN THOUGH THIS WAS AROUND FIRST, BUT I DON'T CARE! WHAT I SAY IS RIGHT AND THAT IS THAT!!!

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#83

Post by Sim Kid » Thu Nov 06, 2003 4:06 am

^*Gasp* CK'S ACTING LIKE ONE OF THOSE WHINING FORCE HIPPIES ON GAMEFAQS!! NOOOOO!!!! :eek: :eek:

.Hack//OUTBREAK

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Part 3 of a 4 part series with games that are 1/4 the average length of a real video game. My golly, this game is so short I can't believe it! I PAID $65 FREAKING DOLLARS FOR A GAME THAT ONLY TOOK 6 DAYS TO BEAT?! NO WAY!!! :mad: :mad:

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#84

Post by Red mage » Thu Nov 06, 2003 7:13 pm

Originally posted by CodieKitty:
Fire Emblem

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

THIS GAME IS ONE BIG SHINING FORCE RIPOFF EVEN THOUGH THIS WAS AROUND FIRST, BUT I DON'T CARE! WHAT I SAY IS RIGHT AND THAT IS THAT!!!

*Wishes we still had the Roll on the floor laughing grinnie*

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#85

Post by Godot » Fri Nov 07, 2003 8:08 pm

^ Aggred.
I wanna do Kingdom hearts too! PuuleaSSSSE?

Kingdom Hearts

Rating: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: (Can't there be a day where I can't listen about the damn thing? ~Amy)

Okay, there is this boy name Sora (Which I may remind you, it is a GIRL name.) with the biggest looking feet and the gayest clothes outfit he could pick out who protects the world with...A KEY? He goes to save his friends, but was sucked into god knows where and befriends two animals that are on two legs Donald Duck and Goofey. So, when he puts down his bong to see if it was all true, he then get's poof into the land of "Dinsey".
May I say that most of the stories where not created by Disney, and was stolen? Do everyone give a flying (Censor)? NO! Everyone raves about it:
"Square is so good!"
"This game makes Nintendo cry? Hell yeah!"
"I'm going to name my little boy Sora!"
My god people. MY GOD. Open your friggin' eyes. Here what you should do: Shove that game thing up your shoot and poop it out because that is what it's worth: (censor).

~Amy
(Like it?)

Edit: Okay, I used () to much. (Then again, who doesn't?)

[ November 08, 2003, 10:08 PM: Message edited by: TikalTheEnchilda ]
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#86

Post by Majic-Falcon » Sun Nov 09, 2003 6:18 pm

ok dude who is pissed at WW. ok dude that game was actually pretty good. There are some awsome new items you get like the grappling hook, plus (fyi because you think it is an OoT rippoff), the giant flood comes to the world and there are people fighting for dry land. And Link get's to sail around in a sailboat with a kickass cannon on it. Last time I checked, that part wasn't in Oot, of any Zelda game for that matter. If you have never played a game, why are you writing a review for it at all, let alone a ****ty **** ass one????!!!! Plus, how the hell did OoT get 3 on the madness scale? That was one of the best games on the N64. Next time, think before you post.

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#87

Post by Majic-Falcon » Sun Nov 09, 2003 7:22 pm

Originally posted by Yoshimaster sez Get N or get out:
I want to do Halo, too:

Halo :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

What we have here is the most overrated game in the entire universe. After giving themselves seizures from playing Halo seven hours into the night, it's no wonder Halo fanboys can't type.

Ok, the graphix here are decent, for X-box, at least. I mean, what's the big deal here? There's no graphix phenomenon about Halo. It looks just like every other X-box game.

And then there's the weapons. Man, what IS this sh*t? I'm carrying around a ball full of spikes, which I'm assuming is an alien equivelent of a machine gun. But it runs out of ammo so fast, why bother.

And then there's the AI. Yes, it sucks balls. I've been fighting aliens for an hour straight and I haven't been hit once. What's with that?

No, people, Halo is not the best game in the entire world. Judging from its horrible gameplay and storyline, I'm surprised it's the best on Xbox.
WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR PROBLEM???!!!!!! GO SMOKE SOME MORE WEED CRACK AND F*** YOUR MOMMA LIKE YOU DID BEFORE YOU WROTE THAT REVIEW, WHY DON'T YA????!!! AND DON'T CALL ME A GODDAMN X-BOX FANBOY BECAUSE I LIKE PS2 MORE!!!! HALO IS BROBABLY THE BEST GAME IN THE ****ING WORLD. OBVIOUSLY YOU SUCK BALLS WITH ANYTHING DEALING WITH HAND-EYE COORDINATION, OR ELSE YOUR PATHETIC, PRIMITIVE MIND WOULD REALIZE THAT HALO IS THE BEST GAME EVER!!!!!! "oh yeah the weapons are gay like me la de da de da i lick my daddy's c*ck blah blah blah" WELL THAN WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR IDEA OF A GOOD 1ST PERSON SHOOTER GAME HUH B*TCH? GOLDENEYE FOR N64????!!!!!! (oh yeah when im done flaming this flamer i will write a review for that gay-ass game) FYI: the "ball of spikes" is a needler. Obviously you can't read or you would know that. If I had one with me I would hunt you down and pump 10 clips of the explosive needles into your gut to wipe your slimy, pollutant ass of this world. The graphics are actually not that bad, especially for one of the first games made for X-box. And about the weapons. They're futuristic, which makes it almost impossible for you (you as in yourself not people in general) to have any knowledge on them, considering you problably know absolutely nothing to begin with, let alone anything about guns. This game is actually quite challenging (or easy, depending upon the difficulty you put it on [easy, normal, heroic, legendary]) And if you think it was a flop, consider this: THE GAME CREATED A WHOLE ****ING CHAIN OF NOVELS THAT WERE BEST-SELLERS, ALONG WITH THE GAME ITSELF!!!!

[ November 09, 2003, 05:33 PM: Message edited by: Majic-Falcon ]

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#88

Post by supperdish » Mon Nov 10, 2003 8:09 pm

Please read the first post on the first page before you continue your retarded ramblings.

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#89

Post by Sim Kid » Mon Nov 10, 2003 11:53 pm

I heard some stupid idiot over AIM bash Legend of Dragoon for half-wit reasons and he said that "Square and Nintendo are the only companies whoan make RPGs". What he said is so funny, I think I'll post it here for prosperity. (With edited words of course, because some of the words he said were very Nasty with a capital N.)

Legend of Dragoon: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

First off, I will mention that Legend of Dragoon is a blatant piece of poop that didn't even come out of Sony's butt! I mean-Come on! It's got just about every thing a good RPG needs-And because Sony STOLE Legend of Dragoon from Square (Where it would have been called Final Fantasy 9 if Sony wasn't the theiving company that Sony is), massacred just about EVERY DANG GOOD THING ABOUT IT-WHICH IS WHY IT SUCKED SO BADLY! And that stupid idiot that is the president of Sony got away with it LAWSUIT FREE!! Why didn't square decide to hit sony with a lawsuit? BECAUSE THEY'D BLOODY WIN!! Oh, by the way, Only SQUARE and NINTENDO can make RPGs, and they KNEW that they'd win the lawsuit. And because Legend of Dragoon was stolen from Square (That's the same with Dragon Warrior-THAT WAS CLEARLY STOLEN FROM NINTENDO!!) Why else do you think Final Fantasy 9 sucked so badly?

Wow, that guy is such an idiot isn't he? Final Fantasy 9 didn't suck and neither did Legend of Dragoon (If you've heard enough people saying that Legend of Dragoon stole FF7's storyline as me, then you'd be laughing hysterically at this)

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#90

Post by Banned from VGF » Wed Nov 19, 2003 10:43 pm

Originally posted by Majic-Falcon:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Yoshimaster sez Get N or get out:
I want to do Halo, too:

Halo :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

What we have here is the most overrated game in the entire universe. After giving themselves seizures from playing Halo seven hours into the night, it's no wonder Halo fanboys can't type.

Ok, the graphix here are decent, for X-box, at least. I mean, what's the big deal here? There's no graphix phenomenon about Halo. It looks just like every other X-box game.

And then there's the weapons. Man, what IS this sh*t? I'm carrying around a ball full of spikes, which I'm assuming is an alien equivelent of a machine gun. But it runs out of ammo so fast, why bother.

And then there's the AI. Yes, it sucks balls. I've been fighting aliens for an hour straight and I haven't been hit once. What's with that?

No, people, Halo is not the best game in the entire world. Judging from its horrible gameplay and storyline, I'm surprised it's the best on Xbox.
WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR PROBLEM???!!!!!! GO SMOKE SOME MORE WEED CRACK AND F*** YOUR MOMMA LIKE YOU DID BEFORE YOU WROTE THAT REVIEW, WHY DON'T YA????!!! AND DON'T CALL ME A GODDAMN X-BOX FANBOY BECAUSE I LIKE PS2 MORE!!!! HALO IS BROBABLY THE BEST GAME IN THE ****ING WORLD. OBVIOUSLY YOU SUCK BALLS WITH ANYTHING DEALING WITH HAND-EYE COORDINATION, OR ELSE YOUR PATHETIC, PRIMITIVE MIND WOULD REALIZE THAT HALO IS THE BEST GAME EVER!!!!!! "oh yeah the weapons are gay like me la de da de da i lick my daddy's c*ck blah blah blah" WELL THAN WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR IDEA OF A GOOD 1ST PERSON SHOOTER GAME HUH B*TCH? GOLDENEYE FOR N64????!!!!!! (oh yeah when im done flaming this flamer i will write a review for that gay-ass game) FYI: the "ball of spikes" is a needler. Obviously you can't read or you would know that. If I had one with me I would hunt you down and pump 10 clips of the explosive needles into your gut to wipe your slimy, pollutant ass of this world. The graphics are actually not that bad, especially for one of the first games made for X-box. And about the weapons. They're futuristic, which makes it almost impossible for you (you as in yourself not people in general) to have any knowledge on them, considering you problably know absolutely nothing to begin with, let alone anything about guns. This game is actually quite challenging (or easy, depending upon the difficulty you put it on [easy, normal, heroic, legendary]) And if you think it was a flop, consider this: THE GAME CREATED A WHOLE ****ING CHAIN OF NOVELS THAT WERE BEST-SELLERS, ALONG WITH THE GAME ITSELF!!!!</font>[/QUOTE]*Grabs gun and shoots him into the testicles*

This topic is about making fun of good games by writing reviews that say they're ****, dumbass.
I am a jackass

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#91

Post by DrakMaerio » Wed Nov 19, 2003 11:09 pm

HALO RULZ ROFL
Shane is Jewish.

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#92

Post by S1x » Thu Nov 20, 2003 12:21 am

There are some people that still don't get it?

-S1x
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#93

Post by Sim Kid » Thu Nov 20, 2003 1:02 am

Heh, I wanna impersonate a brainless fanboy.

Perfect Dark: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

THIS STUPID PIECE OF POOP ISN'T EVEN ON THE XBOX GODUMMIT!! WHAT KIND OF STUPID SH** IS THIS?!?! IT'S NOT EVEN ON THE XBOX YET IT RIPS OFF OF HALO EVEN THOUGH THIS CAME FIRST!! WHAT SAY IS RIGHT!!!!

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#94

Post by Codiekitty » Fri Nov 21, 2003 10:07 pm

Originally posted by Majic-Falcon:
ok dude who is pissed at WW. ok dude that game was actually pretty good. There are some awsome new items you get like the grappling hook, plus (fyi because you think it is an OoT rippoff), the giant flood comes to the world and there are people fighting for dry land. And Link get's to sail around in a sailboat with a kickass cannon on it. Last time I checked, that part wasn't in Oot, of any Zelda game for that matter. If you have never played a game, why are you writing a review for it at all, let alone a ****ty **** ass one????!!!! Plus, how the hell did OoT get 3 on the madness scale? That was one of the best games on the N64. Next time, think before you post.
And you read before you post. You're supposed to diss good games. Go read the damn directions, and quit acting like you did read them.

I once bombed an English assignment because I didn't read the directions :(

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#95

Post by The better Neo. » Sat Nov 22, 2003 3:31 am

Majic-Falcon sucks at life.
\"I\'m... I\'m flying!\"

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#96

Post by NintendoNut » Sun Nov 23, 2003 6:56 am

^Uuuh Amen
I donated to VGF and all I got was this one-liner

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#97

Post by realgtx » Sun Nov 23, 2003 5:20 pm

Battlefield 1942

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

My grandpa is always spouting off some **** about this war he was in. Whenever he does, I turn down his oxygen supply. WHO CARES?! That war was over a bazillion kajillion years ago. NOBODY CARES ABOUT IT.

This game is horrible. I think my grandpa made it while eating his sloppy bowl of stewed prunes and crapping his adult diaper. NOBODY wants to play a game set in 1942. That's like the STONE AGE! A game isn't good unless it has rocket launchers and plasma guns. The only way this game would be cool is if they set it in an alternate universe with aliens and blaster rifles and added some hot girls.

So I went in this game. It was at a place named Kharkov. IT SHOULD BE CALLED KOCK-OV, BECAUSE IT SUCKS. They should set the game in a city like GTA3 did with police and lots of bums to kill. I don't know where KOCK-OV is!

So I got put in the game, and I chose anti-tank, because they had a rocket launcher. I walked around for about THREE HOURS looking for someone. I WANT TO FIND SOMETHING TO SHOOT IN LESS THAN 10 SECONDS. YOU ALL SUCK. So I shot at one of my teammates with the rocket launcher and THERE WAS NO EXPLOSION OR BLOOD! All he did was yell something in some gay language (WTF SPEAK ENGLISH YOU ***) and continued on his way. THIS GAME BLOWS.

And then the controls are crap. HOW can you play with a KEYBOARD?! A KEYBOARD IS FOR TYPING! So I picked up this little thing that looks like a controller beside my keyboard. IT ONLY HAD THREE BUTTONS. How the **** are you supposed to play with THREE BUTTONS?! This game should have used XBox and PS2 controllers, but instead we get THIS ****. (and don't ask me to mention the Gamecube controller, because Gamecube is gay and purple.) Computers SUCK!

Don't get this game. It is worthless. Everyone knows that consoles are WAY BETTER than computers in EVERYTHING. I'm going to throw my computer at some computer game players after I type this. CONSOLES WILL ALWAYS RULE OVER COMPUTERS FOR GAMING! And if you don't agree you CAN SUCK YOUR DAD'S-

-PS2Playa4Eva

[ November 23, 2003, 03:21 PM: Message edited by: RealGTX ]

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#98

Post by Godot » Sun Nov 23, 2003 8:51 pm

Mario Party 4
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
I THINSK MP4 IS KIDDISH AND LEIK GAYCUBE. IZ U WAnnN GANE GET A X-BOX WITH HELO! BECUZ X-BOX ID GOD!!!!!!11111ONEONEFIVE

No... Here the real one.

Maio Party four

Five mad faces.

I was hoping for a Mario game because my Mario Party Two had been sucked in a tornado. I got it and I glad it is busted. There is not a good set borad, and the charater voices sound quite odd. Daisy sounded like a prep, and luigi sounds like my grandfather when he was having a cold. It really STINKS having a crappy borad. If you want a good game, get MK :D D!!!

[ November 23, 2003, 06:53 PM: Message edited by: TikalTheEnchilda ]
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#99

Post by Codiekitty » Sun Nov 23, 2003 8:56 pm

Eternal Darkness

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: +2, but VGF doesn't allow more than 8 images a post.

Eternal Stupidity is what this game should be called. This game is a ripoff of Resident Evil with a few "Ooh, look at this! I'm totally different because I have something special" whatever they're calleds thrown in. You start off with some flat chick (TEH SUXXORS! GIVE ME BASKETBALLS, BABY!) named Alex Roivas (hah hah! Boy's name! Boy's name!) who's a Joanna Dark ripoff. I don't know why I said that, but I did, so it must be right.

The story involves that chick trying to solve a murder mystery. Why we're playing as some egyptian dude getting a gift for his stupid girlfriend is beyond me.

The graphics are absolutely horrid. Everything's a boring old mansion or a boring old temple, and enemies don't bleed enough when you chop their arm off. Don't give me that crap about the characters' mouths moving when they talk. I only care when it's on the Xbox.

There is no sound. I always have it on mute so I don't have to listen to the crappy music. Some people say the voice actors actually sounding like they're acting, but I don't care. I only care when it's on the PS2.

Gameplay is BOOOOO-RIIIIIING. You walk around, hit something with a sword, walk some more. Magick (stupids over at Silikon Nights can't bloody SPEEL!) is confusing, so I never use it. But the swords are worthless, so I'm always dying! You can't use magic, nor can you attack! WTH?

This game sucks. Gamestop sells it for only $15 for a reason.

(Before I get somebody else who didn't read the directions... I don't mean this. You're supposed to take a good game and make it look bad. Thank you for reading this and not flaming me Image )

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[ November 23, 2003, 07:02 PM: Message edited by: CodieKitty ]

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#100

Post by Sim Kid » Sun Nov 23, 2003 10:01 pm

^Excellent!

Magi Nation:
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Magi Nation is nothing more than a stupid rip-off of POKEMON even though it was based on a card game! BOOO! You play as a guy named TONY JONES?! COME ON!! His name should be FONEY BONES because he is so stupid! Just WHY DO YOU RIP-OFF OF POKEMON?! The graphics are terrible! I mean-PURPLE CABBAGES?! YELLOW GRASS? WTF?!?! And PURPLE HAIR?! Has this occured to you that this is a POKEMON RIPOFF YOU'RE DOING?! And when I played it, the violence was badly done. Ooh! Let's do Scratch marks on the enemies and other stuff like punch and don't even put blood and gore in it and expect praise for it! I wanna see blood and gore! I WANNA SEE THE AMOUNT OF VIOLENCE AND BLOOD AS THERE WAS IN BIONIC COMMANDO AND MONSTER PARTY!!! AND JUST SO YOU KNOW-MONSTER PARTY IS ANOTHER RIPOFF OF POKEMON EVEN THOUGH IT CAME FIRST! EVERYTHING I SAY IS ABSOULTLEY RIGHT!! AND ANYONE WHO CALLS ME A STUPID FANBOY IS NOTHING BUT A STUPID PERSON WHO DOESN'T EVEN DESERVE TO PLAY FINAL FANTASY 7 BUT SHOULD PLAY OTHER CRAP GAMES LIKE LEGEND OF DRAGOON!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

...Oops. I think I went a little bit overboard there. And just so you know, Magi Nation is good.

[ November 23, 2003, 08:02 PM: Message edited by: Douglas of the Red Atlamilla ]

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