The worst reviews. (2)

[OcarinaMan]

Paper Mario:

Trust me. You don't want to play this game.
1) It's made by Shig-gay-ru Miyamoto and KIDtendo.
2) It's MARIO
3) It has stupid paper graphics
4) You have "help" from a Goomba, Koopa, bomb, flying Koopa, ghost, shiny thing, fish, and Lakitu
5) You get to go to a toybox, turtle fortress, and Yoshi Island.

Bottom line: Don't get this piece of crap.

[OcarinaMan]

Ocarina of Time:
This isn't rated 8 mad smilies because it's a bad game. Actually, it's surprisingly decent for such an evil game. No, this is rated this much because of the shockingly demonic hidden messages that are all over this game:
1) The Kokiri are a race of eternally young forest people who never leave their forest. This encourages young children to never grow up or take responsibility for their actions.
2) After Link defeats the second dungeon, Gorons roll up to him and attempt to hug him as Link runs. This encourages homosexuality and judging people based on their appearances.
3) The Great Fairy is a woman who is next to naked and wears nothing but vines. This encourages immodesty and loose morals.
4) Ruto is a Zora girl who goes around naked and attempts to seduce Link. This encourages loose morals and premarital sex.
5) There are 3 stones as a child, and 6 sages as an adult. Obviously, the number 6 three times is 666, the number of the devil. This highlights Nintendo's deal with the devil.

Bottom Line: Do not buy this evil and demonic game!

Meanwhile, we recommend "BMX XXX" as good, clean, and wholesome family fun.

[Godot]

Super Mario Brothers



You are some fat ass cow name Mario who has a skinny ass brother name Luigi, and you stumble into the drug impaired "Mushroom Kingdom" Where everyone is frozen into stone, except for a blonde bimbo which resembles a 6 foot tall Barbie doll. Her name is Princess Toadstool (....) and she is captive by an overgrown teenage mutant ninja turtle wannabee named King Koopa. She has the power (Considering she wants to be like He-man) to turn the things called "Toads" back into their origanal selfs. The Mario Brothers must save her, and destory K.K. I find this hard because there is no way in hell to kill him without a gun. You don't even get to take the axe and chop him up! You can only jump, shoot fireballs, and run! And when you get to the end, you rescue this Toad which said "The princess is in another castle." I mean, I killed the (*Ahem*) turtle! And the game restarts over and you hear the stupid ass song all over again!
"DO DO DO DA DO DO DO DO DO DA DO DO DO DO DA DO DO!" And may I add... "DO DO DO DO DO DO *Pause* DO DO DO DO DO DO" Also sometimes you get "DO DO DO DO DO DA DO" DO DO DO my ass! It gets on your nerves! Plus I stare at the blocky thing all day! Haven't these Nintendo people heard of 3-D?

I suggest you should buy the Smurfs for the Atari.
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How's that?